So Help Me Todd《帮帮我托德（2022）》第二季第七集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、前情提要PreviouslyonSoHelpMeTodd.艾莉森妈迪克MARGARET:Allison!Mom?Dick?帕蒂是你吗DICK:Patty,isthatyou?你认识我阿姨Youknowmyaunt?我配得上高级助理的职位Iamdeservingofseniorassociate.我很想给你升职Iwouldlikenothingmorethantogiveyouthatpromotion,但现在不是时候butnowisnotthetime.律所要完了Thefirmisgoingunder.欢迎来到幕后世界MERRITT:Welcometotheworldbehindthecurt

2、ain.方砖系统弗丁要装的It,saCube-Brick.Foldingwantedit.弗丁当然想装OfcourseFoldingwantedit.用来看着我们的吧Probablytospyonus.利姐妹来了MERRITT:The1.eesistersareonboard,但它只能持续六个月我们还没有走出困境梅里特弗丁梅里特弗丁WOMAN1:MerrittFolding?MAN1:MerrittFolding.梅里特弗丁梅里特弗丁WOMAN2:MerrittFolding?MAN2:MerrittFolding.跳进浴缸JJUmPintheshower?血液开始沸腾JAndtheblood

3、startspumping?街上车水马龙JOutonthestreets/开始变得拥挤JThetrafficstartsjumping?像我一样的人们开始JForfolkslikemeonthejob?朝九晚五的工作jFromninetofive朝九晚五JvWorkingninetofive/为了养家糊口JWhatawaytomakealiving.?莱特女士莱特女士我有几个还没改呢Ms.Wright.Ms.Wright,Ihaveseveral.Wrong.我现在没空刘易斯但我已经发了三封邮件了Icantrightnow,1.ewis.-Butvesentyouthreeemails.我们的

4、办公用品供应商要涨价了Ourofficesupplyvendorisraisingtheirrates.我知道了我不能继续置之不理了Iamaware.-1cantkeeppushingthemoff.那就再拖一段时间就像我对你的邮件那样Well,pushalittlebitlonger,likeIdidwithyouremails.玛格丽特我还是需要你看一下这些人事投诉Margaret,IstillneedyoutoreviewtheseH.R.complaints.好吧还要签了这些支票0-Okay.E1.1.EN:Andsignthesechecks.我先来的我的最紧急Iwasherefir

5、st.-Mineisurgent.我昨天在女卫生间露营了一整天Icampedoutalldayyesterdayinthewomen,sbathroom就为了等着和她说上真的吗waitingtotalktoher.-Youdid?别再那么做了Mm-hmm.Stopdoingthat.工资维护和保管Payroll,maintenance,andcustodial.我看不见这这里Icantseeit.Here,here,and.如果人事部门的投诉演变成诉讼我们会破产的AnH.R.complaintcanbankruptusifitturnsintoalawsuit.不我知道不行不是不能No,Ikn

6、ow.Iwont.mnot.Ican,t.行了我知道了还有一页Allright,Igotit.Andthenonemorepage.我马上回来好了llberightback,yes.给我点时间号♥码Justgivemeaminute,okay?这怎么就不行呢Howisthisnotworking?托德Todd.Uh.把我椅子腾出来Vacatemychair,please.好你说什么不行Yeah.Howiswhatnotworking?托德的周二墨西哥卷饼ToddsTacoTuesday.我在为我的私♥家♥侦♥探♥社打特&he

7、arts;价♥J♥告♥madvertisingaspecialformyP.I.services.半价外加一份美味的墨西哥卷饼早餐Halfoff,plusonedeliciousbreakfasttaco,却没有带来任何新客户andithasyieldedexactlyzeronewclients.零一个都没有Zip.Zilcho.零一个都没有Zip.Zilcho.真不敢相信人们不肯排队来吃Well,hardtobelievethatpeoplearentliningup免费墨西哥玉米卷早餐foronebreakfasttaco.我不该像个下水道老鼠一

8、样TODD:Shouldntbewastingmytime浪费时间去找生意scouringforbusinesslikeasewerrat.而是应该像超级英雄那样跑到街上Ishouldbeoutonthestreetslikeavigilantesuperhero,赤手空拳solvingcrimes破案抓凶andcatchingmurdererswithmybarehands.破案抓凶andcatchingmurdererswithmybarehands.是你要选择自己创业的Youretheonewhomadethechoicetoopenyourownbusiness而且很幸运还有个律所可以

9、依靠andyou,reluckyyouhavethefirmtofallbackon,如果连这样你都觉得自己无法成功andifyoufeellikeyoujustcantmakeagoofit,那久也许然而我却困在了两打玉米卷里thenmaybe.Instead,Iamstuckwithtwodozentacos.是时候承认自己的失败了是12打.itistimetoadmitdefeat.-Well,12dozentacos.至少我知道自己每天吃什么了GuessIknowwhatmeatingeveryday.也许这并不是你想要的一切Maybeitisn,teverythingthatyouw

10、ant.也许也许还有其它的方法获得成功Maybe-maybetheresanotherwaytogetahead,and.你怎么了没事吧Whatsgoingonwithyou?Youokay?布拉德肖集团有消息了如何HeardfromTheBradshawGroup.-And?不续签rNotreturning.不续签了Notreturning.他们和格兰杰齐斯克签约了TheysignedwithGrangerZisk.50万的预付金没了Halfamilliondollarretainer,gone.格兰杰齐斯克天这些秃鹰就是不肯走哈GrangerZisk.GoodGod,thevultures

11、arecircling.大家都嗅到CF&W律所要垮了IthinkeveryonecansmellCF&Wfailing,所以他们才不想要我的卷饼anditiscausingthemtoavoidmytacos.马西娅盖伊哈登我成为冠名合伙入Ididnotbecomeanamepartner不是为了被活埋在文书工作tobeburiedaliveinpaperwork人事问题andpersonnelissues和其它我无法解决的问题中andproblemsthatIcannotsolve.Ugh!我的毕生事业难道就是这个吗Isthiswhatmylife,sworkamountsto?只是抱一块巨

12、石Justrollingagiantboulder滚上一座不可能到达的山峰upanimpossiblehilltonowhere?永远这样下去吗Forever?该死Damn.该死Damnit.我今夫只想Iwanttoaccomplish完成一件事justonethingtoday,就一件justonething.就一件justonething.解决一个问题Tosolveoneproblem.让自己更有效率Tomakemyselffeelmoreeffectiveforonce.这有那么难吗Isthattoomuchtoask?挺难的托德Itisalottoask.-Todd.我是不会让这家律所

13、倒闭的Irefusetoletthisfirmfail.我帮忙打造了整个地方Ihelpedbuildthisentireplace,我工作这这么努力可不是为了让我的名声andIdidnotworkthishardtogetmyname.你那个“错”名Yourwrongname.我门上的“错”名Mywrongnameabovethedoorjustto.我门上的“错”名Mywrongnameabovethedoorjustto.怎样跟大船一起沉了吗Justtowhat?Godownwiththeship?还拉上几个无辜的受害者比如我弗朗西Pullingunderinnocentvictims?1

14、.ikemeandFrancey苏珊还有赖尔可以浮起来andSusanand1.ylecanfloat.憋说了Stopit.我这就去楼卜.喝杯咖啡amgoingdownstairsforsomecoffee.我要杯拿铁Ooh,I-Illtakealatte加什么都不加withasideof.nothing.什么都不加Sideofnothing.嗯拿铁也不急Yeah.Holdthelatte.海梅埃利泽卡拉斯莱特女士等一下Oh,Ms.Wrighwait.玛格丽特莱特女士我只需要个批复Margaret.Uh,Ms.Wright,Ijustneedonemoreapproval.抱歉你你没事吧mso

15、rry.Are.areyouokay?有事我死了No.mdead.抱歉你什么你死了对Sorry,you,rewhat?Youredead?-Yes.这个律师拒绝接我的案子Andthislawyerjustturneddownmycase.说复活不了我Saysit,simpossibletoresurrectme.我都不存在了Now,howam!supposed还怎么生活下去tolivemylifewhenIdontexistanymore?但是但是你就你就在这啊But-butyoure-righthere.-Mm-mm.不在了吗No?你的讣告Yourobituary?我6个月前被宣告死亡Iwa

16、sdeclareddeadsixmonthsago.这这怎么可能我不知道H-Howdidthishappen?-1havenoidea.我已经联♥系♥了能想到的所有政♥府♥机构IvecontactedeverygovernmentagencyIcanthinkOf但都没结果还是死着抱歉anditsbeennothingbut.Deadends?Sorry.我不明白我是说1dontunderstand.Imean.你活着呢你很明显活着啊youarealive,youareclearlyalive.对啊你就不能给警♥察&hear

17、ts;看看你的身份证出生证明什么的吗Yeah,cantyoujustshowyourI.D.oryourbirthcertificate一旦我的“死亡”tothepoliceor.?Oncemydeathwasreported报告给社会保隙局totheSocialSecurityAdministration,就引发了连锁反应itsetoffachainreaction.我的信♥用♥卡♥和医疗保险都被取消了Mycreditcards,myhealthinsurancewerecanceled.我丢了在贝尔蒙特汽车修理厂的工作IlostmyjobatBel

18、montAutoRepair因为没法给死人发薪水becausedeadpeoplecantgetpaychecks.会不会他真死了Whatarethechanceshesactuallydead而我们是唯一能看到他的人andweretheonlyonesthatcouldseehim?就像那个关于幽灵的节目里-样Youknow,likeonthatshowaboutapparitions?托德Todd.我濒临破产和无家可归monthevergeofbeingbrokeandhomeless,俄勒冈州今天要在遗嘱认证法庭andtheStateofOregonisseizing扣押我所有的财产al

19、lmyassetsinprobatecourttoday.不是吧今天吗你说的是现在这个今天Wait,today?1.ike,today-today还是所谓的今天肯定是今天了ortoday-today?Mustbetoday.如果没人帮我我Ifsomeonedoesnthelpmesoon,I.我不知道什Idontknow.What.一个法律上不存在的人会发生什么呢Whathappenstosomeonewhodoesntlegallyexist?我能帮你Icanhelpyou.我们能帮你Wecanhelpyou.我们在你今天的遗嘱听证会上Wecanstraightenthisallout就把这

20、事说清楚atyourprobatehearingtoday.我们可以解决Wecanfixwhatever导致这一严重文书错误的bureaucraticnonsense官僚主义ledtothisegregiousclericalerror.我们今天就能做到Wecanaccomplishthistoday.谢谢Thankyou.谢谢你们Thankyou.嗯他应该是个真人Yeah,heseemsreal.手很软Verysofthands.嘿玛格丽特你有时间吗苏珊啊Hey,Margaret,doyouhaveaminute?-Oh,Susan.我在为今天下午的遗嘱认证出庭做准备Yes,ofcourse

21、.mpreparingforprobatecourt但没关系你说吧thisafternoon,butwhatdoyouneed?明天早上我和一个潜在客户有个临时会议Ihavealast-minutemeetingwithapotentialclient我需要你的帮助tomorrowmorning,andIneedyourhelp.现在你需要我的帮助了哈Oh.Nowyouneedmyhelp,doyou?好啊Um,well,okay.我很乐意让弗朗西在我Fl历里找个时间dbehappyto.JusthaveFranceyputitonmyschedule,或者苏珊or,Susan,我们可以边吃午

22、餐边讨论wecouldhavelunchanddiscuss.实际上我只是需要会议室Oh.A-Actually,Ijustneedtheconferenceroom,而你又正好预订了andyouhaveitbooked.好吧归你了Okay.Allyours.谢谢Thankyou.客户是谁啊Whostheclient?4X科技创新4XTechnologyInnovators.一年的预付金是100万Apotentialonemilliondollar-ayearretainer.Oh.了不起你怎么约上他们的Amazing.And,uh,howdyougetthemeeting?他们的CEO罗里麦金

23、托什是彼得的新生意伙伴TheCEO,RoryMcIntosh,isanewbusinessassociateofPeters.啊哈苏珊Ah-hah.Youknow,Susan,建立你的客户名册固然重要buildingyourclientrosterisveryimportant,但这次会面对律所来说可能非常重要butthis-thiscouldbevery,verybigforthefirm.所以如果你让我来帮你这个客户应该就能锁定了So,maybeifyouletmehelpyou,wecanlandthisaccount.哦谢r但是我觉得我自己就行Oh,thankyou,but,uh,It

24、hinkIcandoitonmyown.然后你就不得不给我升职rAndthenyoullhavetopromoteme.该死Ugh,cheeseandcrackers!赖尔你没事吧1.yle,areyouokay?就是牙疼没别的Oh,uh,itsjustatoothache.mfine.Ah.好吧当有人真的死了Okay,so,whensomeonedies,like,forreal,他们就会被录入EDRStheygetenteredintotheEDRS,电子死亡登记系统theElectronicDeathRegistrationSystem.电子死亡这听上去也太糟糕了什么东西啊Electro

25、nicdeath?Thatsoundsawful.What?别来我这好吧然后呢Dontcomebackhere.-Okay,fine.Thenwhathappens?然后记录就被送到社会保障局Okay.ThenthatgetssenttotheSocialSecurityAdministration并添加到他们的死亡控制档案中andaddedtotheirDeathMasterFile.死亡控制这听着就更吓人了DeathMaster?Thisallsoundssocreepy.说到死亡And,bytheway,speakingofdeath,在发现你和那个骗子partofmeisstilltr

26、yingtocomebacktolife迪克弗兰克斯在我床上厮混之后aftercatchingyouinmybed我到现在都没缓过气来withthatfraud,DickFranks.托德迪克和我Todd,DickandI我不喜欢你说迪克（老二）这个词IdontlikeyousayingDick.你自己刚说过好吗Youjustsaidit,okay?而且我也不打算跟你讨论我的性生活And,also,mnotdiscussingmysexlife.更别提那个人的前女友NorwillIbejudgedbysomeone还在监狱里待着呢whohasanex-girlfriendinprison.嘿是

27、我把她送进去的Hey,Iputherinprison.那对这情况也没什么帮助好吗Yeah,thatdoesntmakeitbetter.听着我不想跟你讨论这事你不行1.ook,Imnottalkingaboutthis.Notwithyou,妈也不行顺便说一句notwithMom,fromwhomIhavenotheardinaweek,我都一周没有她的消息了我都能感觉到bytheway.Ugh,Icanjustfeelherjudgingme她会如何指手画脚批评我andcriticizingmeanddyingtotellme告诉我该怎么做烦死了真是烦死了whattodoandhowtodo

28、it.Ihateit.Ihatethis.天你秒变青春期叛逆版艾莉森God,youresoAngryTeenAllison.行吧我从来就没叛逆过Yeahwell,IneverwasAngryTeenAllison,所以来吧sobringiton.已经来了姐Oh,itsbeenbroughten,sister.对了Bytheway,我们是在等电子死亡领主arewejustwaitingforthisElectricalDeath1.ord打印还是怎么着已经在打了toprintorwhatever?-Itsprintingrightnow.电子死亡领主你这是在说什么啊ElectricalDeath

29、1.ord?Whatiswrongwithyou?怎么了你不就是这么说的吗What?Thatsexactlywhatyoujustsaid.不是No.法官大人MARGARET:YourHonor,我的委托人利奥哈特很明显还活着myclient,1.eoHart,isclearlyalive.没必要继续就他遗产Theresnoneedtoproceed进行遗嘱认证听证会withaprobatehearingregardinghisestate.法官大人我们从没遇到过YourHonor,weveneverhadacase遗嘱人对自己遗嘱听证会提出异议的案例wherethedecedentconte

30、stedtheirownprobatehearing.那是因为遗嘱人并没有去世Thatsbecausethedecedentisn,tdeceased.他一大活人就在这里He,srighthere,alive.我只能根据文件上的内容来判断Icanonlygobywhatthepaperworksays,而我所有文件上都说利奥哈特已经去世andallmypaperworksays1.eoHartisdead.这就是他MARGARET:Thisishim.他确实还有脉搏Heliterallyhasapulse.很明显我看到了我们都看到了Obviously,Iseethat.Weallseethat

31、,但在美国政♥府♥眼中这已成定局butintheeyesoftheU.S.government,it,scurtains.法官大人这太荒谬了MARGARET:YourHonor,thisisludicrous.我当事人不能因为这个Myclientisntgoingtoloseeverything就失去一切呀heownsjustbecauseofa.只有上帝)ACKIE:OnlyGod和社会保障局才能andtheSocialSecurityAdministration逆转死亡canreverseadeath.那要多久Andhowlongwouldthattake?几个

32、月几年吧Months.Years.我们甚至都没官方表格可填Wedontevenhaveanofficialform来解决这种情况tofixsomethinglikethis.没有表格就没法解决Noform,nofix.没有表格就没法解决Noform,nofix?这是个非常不寻常的情况Thisisahighlyunusualsituation,所以我允许你soIwillgrantyouacontinuance延期举办遗嘱听证会律师ontheprobatehearing.Counselor.给你一周时间证明你们当事人是Youhaveoneweektoprovethatyourclientis,um

33、.合法存活legallyalive.谢谢Thankyou.这算是好事吗Is-isthisagoodthing?给我们争取到了时间托德Oh,itbuysustime,andTodd已经在调查是谁报告你死了isalreadylookingintowhoreportedyoudead,所以我保证soIpromiseyou我们会在一周内wewillhavethissortedout解决withintheweek.没有表格就没法解决Noform,nofix.你委托人的死亡是由雷穆尼普克医生YourclientsdeathwasreportedtotheEDRS提交到电子死亡记录系统的byaDr.RayM

34、unipke.怎么你认识他吗不认识这点很奇怪What?Doyouknowhim?-No,whichisodd,因为我认识这里每一位医生becauseIknoweverydoctoronthiswing.从没听过这个名字veneverevenheardthatnamebefore.也许是因为它的发音是“穆尼普凯”Oh,maybebecauseitspronouncedManupkay,而不是“穆尼普克“不是穆尼普凯notMunipke.It,snotpronouncedManupkay.就是穆尼普克是穆尼普凯看这里ItsMunipke.lt,sManupkay.1.ookrightthere.怎

35、么你有发音学学位吗What,doyouhaveadegreeinpronunciation?我还真有大兄弟Yes,Ido,dude.这里是他办公室是他办公室吧Thisishisoffice.Thisishisoffice?有人吗Hello?这是个Uh,thisis清洁间ajanitorscloset.这都是表格是错的Thisisall.T-Theformiswrong.有人在医院伪造了个地址Someonefakedanaddressinthehospital?还有医生资质Andmedicalcredentials.这就解释了为什么你从没听说过穆尼普凯医生穆尼普克Whichexplainswhy

36、youveneverheardofDr.Manupkay,Munipke.因为他根本不存在becausehedoesntexist.也许Maybe.也许利奥的死不是笔误maybe1.eosdeathwasntaclericalerror.也许有人故意用书面形式Maybesomeonekilledhimonpaper把他杀死了onpurpose.你知道谁想让你被宣布死亡吗Doyouhaveanyideawhowouldwantyoudeclareddead?没我就是个无名之辈No.manobody.从未树敌1donthaveanyenemiesor.甚至连朋友都没有Idontevenhavean

37、yfriends.我一般都尽量远离人群Igenerallytryandstayawayfrompeople.为什么Why?因为我生活里不配有交际圈Because,um,Idontdeservetohavepeopleinmylife.我已经戒瘾十年了Um,vebeensobertenyears,可我以前就是一团糟butIwasamess.-Ah.我是个酒鬼manalcoholic.我所做的只有让别人失望还把他们赶走AllIdidwasletpeopledownanddrivethemaway.你不能因为过往就去惩罚自己Well,youcantpunishyourselfforyourpast.

38、没人该孤独一生Noonedeservestobealone.我和你的女婿切特谈过Italkedtoyourson-in-law,Chet.他说利奥的讣告是由Hesaid1.eo,sobituarywassubmitted山坡殡仪馆老板柯克兰奎比toThePortlandSentinelbyoneKirklandQuimby,提交给波特兰哨兵报的ownerOfHillsideFuneralHome.你认识叫柯克兰奎比的人吗DoyouknowanyKirklandQuimby?柯克兰奎比不认识KirklandQuimby.No.他为什么要给我写讣告Whywouldhewriteanobituary

39、forme?如果有人想要你死Well,ifsomebodywantsyoudead,文件记录越多破解难度就越大thelongerthepapertrail,theharderitistounravel.如果有其他需要的话lfthere,sanythingelseyouneed,可以来找我maround!赖尔Oh,1.yle.弗朗西麻烦现在能进来Uh,Francey,canyoucomeinhererightnow,please,带赖尔去看牙医吗andtake1.yletothedentist?这显然是紧急情况Itisclearlyanemergency.不用不用Oh,no,no,no,no,n

40、o.不用啦No.Theresnoneed.我没事mfi.ine.赖尔你有事1.yle,youarenotfine.现在就去弗朗西Gonow,Francey.赖尔上次你无视牙痛1.yle,thelasttimeyouignoredatoothache,我发现你疼晕在办公室里Ifoundyoupassedoutfromthepaininyouroffice.走吧1.etsgo.没事的啊It,sokay.就承认你怕牙医吧Justadmityoureafraidofthedentist.我只需要些姜汁汽水Ijustneedsomegingerale.-Oh.那现在我们怎么办So,uh,whatdowe

41、donow?现在我要去拜访这位柯克兰奎比Well,now,mgoingtopayavisittothisKirklandQuimby.不得不承认TODD:Yougottoadmit,用文件杀人这想法很是天才paper-killingsomeoneisgenius.他们人死了你没动手Theyredead,butyoudidntdoit,可也杀死他们了动没动手都是违法的Butyoudid.-Bothareillegal.有几个人我很想用文件杀死他们IcanthinkofafewpeopleIwouldlovetopaperkill.谁啊Who?哈里维罗妮卡赖尔偶尔的做派Harry,Veronica

42、,1.ylesometimes,赖尔大部分时间的表现桑德斯上校1.ylemosttimes.ColonelSanders.桑德斯上校对ColonelSanders?-Yeah.他很可怕那个小身板He,sterrifying.Thatlittlebody?欢迎这边请Welcome.Comethisway,please.非常感谢Thankyousomuch.托德也许你可以把在你公♥寓♥里Todd,perhapsyoucouldaddthatvagrant跟艾莉森厮混的那个流浪汉加到名单上thatAllisonwaswithinyourapartmenttothelist

43、.她还在跟他在一起吗Isshestillseeinghim?不知道但你没法通过无视她Idontknow,butyourenotgonnafindout还有批评她的选择这两种方式知晓答案的byignoringherandthendumpingonherchoices,这只会让她无视你whichwillthenmakeherignoreyou.Imean,我们多久没有聊天了howlongdidwegowithouttalking?你还欠我104顿家庭聚餐呢Youstilloweme,like,104familydinners.你好我是柯克兰圣比Hello.mKirklandQuimby.有什么能帮

44、到你的你好HowmayIhelpyou?-Hi.Hello,hello.你好吗我们来这里Howdoyoudo?Uh,werehere是想讨论些葬礼安排请todiscusssome-funeralarrangements.-Please.是我母亲的葬礼愿上帝保佑她的灵魂Yes,formymother,Godblesshersoul.真是幽默的紧Suchasprightlysenseofhumor.不是的是给我儿子办No,no,no,formyson.不我以为家长最不想做的事No,Ithoughtthelastthingaparentwantstodo就是埋葬自己的孩子呢那得看是什么样的孩子isb

45、urytheirchild.-Well,itdependsonthechild.我不管您二位哪位垂危1.1. Well,whicheveroneofyouisdying,uh,我想问下你们对哪个葬礼套餐感兴趣mayIaskwhichfuneralpackageyouareinterestedin?对我来说吗超贵的那种Uh,forme?Veryexpensive.钱不是问题无上限Moneyisnoobject.Skysthelimit.是其实我想要Mm,yes,well,Iwasactuallythinking更简单点的方式经济实惠型ofsomethingmuchsimpler,alongtheeconomyside.有棺椁有花有坑就行Ab