Young Sheldon《小谢尔顿》第七季第八集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

J世上没人比我强壮JJNobodyelseisstrongerthanIamJJ昨天我移了一座山JJYesterdayImovedamountainJJ我相信我能当你的英雄）JIbetIcouldbeyourheroJ4J我是个了不起的小家伙JJIamamightylittlemanJtJ1我是个了不起的小家伙J/IamamightylittlemanJ*少年谢尔顿少年谢尔顿前情提要PreviouslyonYoungSheldon.我现在宣布你们正式结为合法夫妻Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife.新郎可以亲吻新娘了Youmaykissthebride.我们想掏钱让你们去度蜜月We'dliketopayforahoneymoon.去多莉山主题公园过个周末怎么样Whatwouldyousaytoanall-expenses-paid费用我们全包weekendatDollywood?不是吧一天啊谢谢你Shutup.-Oh,myGod.Thankyou.这可不妙Huh?Oh,thatain'tgood.康妮塔克请你别再跑了ConnieTucker,pleasestoprunning.你怎么被铐起来了Whyareyouhandcuffed?我只不过是带着宝宝散步Iwasjust.takingthebabyforawalk,这些美国警花却觉得我是在逃避抓捕andCagneyand1.aceyheredecidedthatIwasevadingarrest.感觉怎么样How'sthatfeel?有点多余Unnecessary.警♥察♥来抓你时你逃跑了Youranfromthepolice.你有潜逃风险You'reaflightrisk.她才不会跑她半边屁♥股♥有点毛病Shecan'trun.Shegotafunkyhip.连像鸭子摇摆走都不太行-管好你的嘴Shecanbarelywaddle.-Watchit.你可以在基地站方圆46米范围活动Yougota50-yardradiusfromthebase.当你靠近边界时就会响It'llbeepwhenyougetclosetotheedge.如果你踏出边界我们会收到通知Ifyoucrossit,wegetacall.你试图破坏它我们也会收到通知Ifyoutamperwithit,wegetacall.那种时候会电她吗Willitgiveheralittlezap?不会No.那她怎么长记性呢Well,how'sshegonnalearn?我杀他时这玩意会叫吗WillitbeepifIkillhim?只要是在活动范围内杀Aslongasit,swithin50yards,你放胆去goforit.我不能离开这房♥子吗Ican'tleavethehouse?那我一整天都能干嘛啊WhatthehellamIsupposedtodoallday?我早已未雨绸缪你看Iamwayaheadofyou.See?我特地去买♥♥了拼图IstoppedandIpickeduppuzzles.有大峡谷的风景图与狗打扑克的图案GotustheGrandCanyonandDogsPlayingPoker.如果我现在逃跑你会当场把我击毙吗IfIweretorunrightnow,wouldyoushootme?我找到了一个角落片Ooh.Ifoundacorner.恭喜你啊-别这样嘛Congratulations.-Oh,comeon.我们还是可以找乐子啊Wecanhavealittlefun.我失去了我的生意我失去了我的房♥子1havelostmybusiness,Ihavelostmyhome,我失去了我的自♥由♥你让我找乐子吗Ihavelostmyfreedom,andyouwanttohavefun?一点点乐子也无妨Alittlefun.你还没搞懂吗我有可能得坐牢Doyounotunderstand?Icouldbegoingtojail.拜托Oh,comeon,please.他们才不会把一个可爱老太婆送去蹲苦窑的They'renotgonnasendasweetoldgrandmatothepokey.我也希望啊Well,Ihopenot.Ah.你看看如果让你说Well,tellmesomethingifyouwould.你觉得这片是天空还是水Isthatskyorwater?我看看啊1.etmeseeit.还好没丢出范围It,sagoodthingthatdidn'tgo50yards.你还能去捡回来Youcanstillgetit.我们回来啦Hey,we'reback.你们回来啦Hey,hi.我的宝贝女儿呢Where'smylittlegirl?她在玛丽那边Um,she'swithMary.为什么啊Why?我该怎么说呢Well,howdoIputthis?那是什么鬼Whattheheckisthat?我被居家监禁了munderhousearrest.为什么Why?我们被抓了Wegotbusted.我们吗We?我Me.他们知道小乔治吗DotheyknowaboutGeorgie?当然不知道啦No,ofcoursenot.你姥姥不是告密鬼Yourgrandma'snotasnitch.这一点当你真的进去蹲班房♥的时候Which,bytheway,willserveyouwell会对你帮助很大ifyouendupintheslammer.又苦窑又班房♥你是哪里有毛病Thepokey,theslammer.Whatisitwithyou?我喜欢看探案剧嘛总会学到一点Ilikecopshows.Youlearnthings.那洗衣店Whataboutthe1.aundromat,还有影带出租店呢thevideostore?所有生意都被查封了Theyshuteverythingdown.天啊那以后我们钱从哪里来是啊God.Sowhatarewegonnadoformoney?-Yeah.这是个好问题That'sanexcellentquestion.多莉山主题乐园好玩吗HowwasDollywood?超赞那以后我们钱从哪里来Magical.Whatarewegonnadoaboutmoney?你回来啦Hello.在为考试学习吗Studyingforatest?为法考在学习Studyingtotakethebarexam.姥姥会需要一个聪明的律师Meemaw'sgoingtoneedasmartlawyer.等我们找到一个够聪明的这时间都够我学完了Bythetimewefindone,Icouldjustlearnhowtodoit.你说认真的吗Seriously?普通法是由中世纪一群英国农夫CommonlawwasinventedbyabunchofEnglishfarmers发明出来的我想我应该手到擒来intheMiddleAges.IthinkIcanhackit.行吧那你有什么进度Allright,whatdoyougot?你听说过大佬文森特吉根迪吗Well,haveyoueverheardofVincent"TheChin"Gigante?他是不是打过拳Heaboxer?他最早还真打过你真棒Hewasoriginally.Goodforyou.但他的名声来自他曾是纽约五大黑♥手♥党♥教父之一Buthe'sbetterknownasamajorcrimebosswhomanaged并通过"犯罪意图”的漏洞躲过牢狱之灾tostayoutofprisonbyemployingthelegaldoctrineofmensrea.什么意思Whichis?他假装是神经病Hepretendedtobenuts.他穿着浴袍在纽约大街小巷跑HewanderedthestreetsofNewYorkinabathrobe,个人卫生特别糟糕还常常自言自语hehadpoorpersonalhygiene,hemumbledtohimself-各种疯子标准特性都有allthecuckooclassics.行如果你们到时候需要有人作证Yeah.Ifyouneedsomeonetotestify那老太婆是疯子就直接给我打电♥话♥thatshe'soffherrocker,yougivemeacall.谢谢Thankyou.厕所堵了Toiletsbackedup.什么别看我我才刚到家What?Don'tlookatme.Ijustgothome.是啊但它饱受你摧残多年Yeah,butit'shadyearsofyou.我去看看吧1Icheckitout.给点力啊朋友Comeon,littlebuddy.你可以的Youcandoit.跟我合作吧Talktome.这就对了Thereyougo.一泻千里吧1.etitout.摧残多年Years.这是估价单Here,stheestimate.你得先付一半才能动工mgonnaneed50%downtogetstarted.你不是吧Areyoukiddingme?我们只是修厕所不是要买♥♥新车We'refixingatoilet,notbuyingacar.还好我没打算上大学GoodthingIwasn,tgoingtocollege.你的厕所没坏是化粪池有问题Nothing'swrongwithyourtoilet.Septictankisshot.什么是化粪池What,saseptictank?基本就是在你家后院地里It,sbasicallyabigcontainerunderthebackyard装满你家“排泄”的东西that'sfilledupwithallyour.bathroombusiness.好恶心我以前还在后院玩耍呢Ew!1playedinthatyard.米希先别闹别这样吧菲尔Missy,notnow.Comeon,Phil.难道不能给点亲朋好友折扣吗Isn'ttheresomekindoffriendsandfamilydiscount?毕竟我们还是高中校友1mean,wewenttohighschooltogether.是啊当年你对我很糟糕Yeah,andyouweremeantome.别这样我当年是愤世嫉俗不是跟你有仇Oh,comeon!I-Iwasmadattheworld,notjustyou!我还吃过后院的土Iatethatdirt.他修好了吗Didhefixit?不算Notquite.他到现在也还是很阴险Andhe'sstillaweasel.他干嘛了你看What'dhedo?-1.ook.真是个阴险小人Whataweasel.那我们该怎么办我们有六口人呢Whatarewegonnado?Imean,we'resixpeople.没有厕所不行Weneedatoilet.不用担心小乔治跟我来Don'tworry.Georgie,comewithme.我们要去哪里我有个计划Wherearewegoing?-1gotaplan.是好计划吗大概吧Isitagoodplan?-Yeah.好啦天空的部分应该是拼完了Allright.SoIbelievethatcompletesthesky.很有成就感吧Satisfying,huh?现在怎么样So,whatdoyouthink?想不想去活动筋骨Wanttogetsomeexercise,去散个步走到边界叫了再停goforawalkuntilyoustartbeeping?哈哈哈不好笑好吗Ha,ha,ha.It'snotfunny.我的人生分崩离析Mylifeisinshambles,我也老到无法东山再起了andmtoooldtostartover.别这样Oh,comeon.你才没那么老Youarenottooold.听我说你是个聪明有活力又活泼的女子Now,listen,youareasmart,vibrant,perkywoman.活泼吗-对啊跟我相比Perky?-Well,yeah,comparedtome.我再跟你说另一件事AndI'lltellyouanotherthing.你的人生还没结束Yourlife'snotover.你只是在书写人生这本书的另一个篇章Youarewritinganewchapterinthebookofyou.这本书的故事来到Abookwhere活泼的女主角重新站起来aperkyheroinerisesup然后and.然后干嘛Andwhat?我也不知道你想要买♥♥醉吗Idon'tknow.Y-Youwanttogetdrunk?好-太好了我去酒水店买♥♥酒回来Yes.-Great.mgonnaruntotheliquorstore.你想跟我一起去吗Youwanttocomewithme?戴尔忘了那行Dale!-Right.Okay.我很快就回来Bebackinajiffy.怪我自己爱着他啊Godhelpme,Ilovehim.好啦再过去一点点Allright,justalittlebitmore.小力小力行了Oh,easy,easy.Thereyougo.好了Yeah.还不错吧不好说Notbad,huh?-1don'tknow.感觉摆篱笆那边比较好看Mightlookbetterbythefence.好看个鬼这就是大型塑料茅房♥1.ookbetter?It'sabigplasticcraphouse.我的老天Oh,dear1.ord.你想要个厕所这不就来了Youwantedatoilet?Voila.你从哪里弄来的啊Wheredidyougetit?从高中学校有10个让客队来比赛时用Fromthehighschool.Wegot,like,tenof'emforvisitingteams.来吧来吧试用看看Yeah.giveitawhirl.我宁愿死dratherdie.里面有灯吗Istherealightinside?没有-相信我看不清更好No.-Trustme,that'sagoodthing.我们在门把手上挂个手电筒就行We'lljusttieaflashlighttothehandle.我终F不用幻想人生低谷的模样了Huh.Ialwayswonderedwhatrockbottomwouldlooklike.起码来看看跟想象有没有出入吧Comeon,atleastcheckitout.我入过了我要出走了Ichecked,mout.真的是太感谢你们了Ican'tthanky'allenough.别说这种见外的话想待多久都行Oh,don'tbesilly.Stayaslongasyouneed.只是暂时的随便啦It,sonlytemporary.-Whatever.我们只是很高兴你跟宝宝都回来了We'rejustthrilledtohaveyouandthebabyhere.也很高兴见到我吧Andme,too,right?当然啦你也会在Yes,you'llbehere,too.我来给你们搭把手Well,letmegiveyouahand.谢谢-小乔治Oh.Thanks.-Now,Georgie,如果警♥察♥上门找你我们该怎么问答ifthepolicecomeforyou,whatshouldwetellthem?妈妈-抱歉Mom.-msorry.我从来没有窝藏犯人的经验嘛-妈妈veneverharboredafugitivebefore.-Mom!这男的是谁啊Who'sthatguy?他是唐尼奥斯蒙It'sDonnyOsmond.没听说过他Neverheardofhim.没听过唐尼与玛丽节目吗Youknow,DonnyandMarie?有时候我都忘了你有多大了SometimesIforgethowoldyouare.真谢谢你啊Thankyou.我妈失礼了抱歉msorryaboutmymom.你开玩笑吧我们有双人床睡房♥里有卫浴Youkidding?Wegotadoublebedandanindoorbathroom.她就算往我早餐谷物里吐口水我都笑着鞠躬ShecanspitinmyCornFlakes,andmahappycamper.那太好了她很可能这么干Good,'causeshemight.别担心我会努力讨她欢心Don'tworry.llwinherover.她觉得你毁了我的人生所以呢Shethinksyouruinedmylife.-So?你也觉得我毁了你人生现在还不是嫁给我YouthoughtIruinedyourlife,andyoumarriedme.我就说吧这场婚姻绝对没好事Icalledit.Isaidnogoodwouldcomeofthismarriage.是是是你很常说Yeah,yeah,yousaiditalot.甚至在婚礼上也说了Yousaiditatthewedding.不过我还是觉得But,uh,still,youknow,I.你可以对他稍微好一点点啦1thinkyoucouldbealittlenicertohim.当然可以就像我也可以去后院Sure,Icanalsogooutinthebackyard给杂草浇水啊andwaterthecrabgrass.我们会没事的对吧-当然啦We'regonnabeokay,right?-Oh,ofcourse.你如何能这么肯定Howcanyoubesosure?你嫁的可不是那位绣花枕头唐力Hey,youdidn'tjustmarryaprettyboylikeDannyoverhere.是唐尼-对就说他Donny.-Yeah,him.告诉你我是你见过工作最努力的人Youknow,mthehardestworkeryou'llevermeet当我看到了目标我必努力不懈直到得到WhenIseesomethingIwant,Idon'tstoptillIgetit.你的确是会咬着不放Youarerelentless.好消息是阿曼达回到家后Thegoodnewsis,withAmandabackinthehouse,我可以让她恢复理智Icanhelphercometohersenses.好计划对了在这期间Goodplan.Hey,uh,inthemeantime,我想让小乔治到店里来帮忙IwasthinkingofputtingGeorgietoworkatthestore.又来了给杂草浇水Thereyougo,wateringthecrabgrass.不是施舍可怜他是让他真的工作It,snotcharity,allright?He'llwork.他是个犯人吉姆He'sacriminal,Jim.我就想照顾好你和丝丝AndwhatIwantistotakecareofyouandCeeCee或许哪天再增加一个小小乔治andmaybesomedayaGeorgieJuniorJunior.你是想说乔治三世吧YoumeanGeorgetheThird.不行这名字太装了他会被霸凌-你说得对No,that,stoofancy.He'dgethisasskicked.-Mm,yeah.而且我跟你说啊Andforyourinformation,镇上到处都有那种地下老虎机thoselittlebackroomslotmachinesareallovertown.你怎么知道的Howdoyouknow?别人告诉我的Peopletellmestuff我.我长了-张真诚脸让人想吐露心声嘛I.Ijustgot-1gotoneofthemfaces.我有个避免使用流动厕所的计划Ihadaplantoavoidusingtheporta-potty.我只需要憋一晚Ijusthadtogetthroughthenight撑到早上我回到宿舍就好until1couldgetbacktomydorminthemorning.我减少了水分摄入总量Iloweredmyoverallliquidintake,不喝临唾前的惯例洋甘菊茶skippedmypre-bedchamomiletea,并严厉训诫了我的膀胱andgavemybladderasterntalkingto.但我的膀胱不听话Mybladderdidnotlisten.我能做到Icandothis.我的身体或许很软弱Mybodymayhavebeenweak,但我的意志无比坚强butmymindwasstrong.我只需换个方式看待眼前的局面Ijustneededtothinkaboutthissituationinadifferentway.这不是流动厕所而是神秘博士里的塔迪斯时光机Insteadofaporta-potty,itwasaTARDIS.警♥察♥亭公用电♥话♥我不是谢尔顿而是神秘博士InsteadofSheldon,IwasDoctorWho,我的尿已准备好穿越时空whoseurinewasreadytotravelthroughspaceandtime.给不熟悉的观众说明一下Forthosewhoaren,tfamiliar,塔迪斯的内部比外表看上去的要大许多theTARDISisbiggerontheinside.而这一台是里面的气味更难闻Thisone,however,wassmellierontheinside.我真的做不到Ican'tdothis.这事说来我也羞愧那一晚mnotproudofthis,butthatnight,我在比利斯帕克斯的鸡舍里就地解决了IrelievedmyselfinsideBillySparks'chickencoop.在遇到我妻子之前那些母鸡Untilmywife,thosehensweretheonlyfemales是唯一看过我身体的异性Ieverexposedmyselfto.这部分其实我不用自爆的IguessIcouldhaveleftthatpartout.算啦Oh,well.再来点培根Morebacon?尽情加Pileiton.早上好Goodmorning.早上好快坐下吧Morning.Haveaseat.小乔治给我们做了早餐很贴心吧Georgiemadeusbreakfast.Isn'tthatnice?看啊这么丰盛谢谢你Oh,well,lookatthat.Thankyou.不客气Mypleasure.看来晚点我得再去超♥市♥趟Iguesslljusthavetoruntothesupermarketlater再买♥♥些鸡蛋andgetsomemoreeggs做我本来留好材料要做的蛋糕forthatcakeIwasgoingtomake.没问题我可以帮忙去杂货店买♥♥Oh,noproblem.I-Icangotothegrocerystore.看来今天不打算去找工作了Oh.Apparentlywe,renotjob-huntingtoday.说起工作Oh,speakingofjobs.祝你好运孩子Goodlucktoyou,son.姥姥姥姥Meemaw.Meemaw.姥姥Meemaw.干嘛What?你怎么一脸憔悴Oh,my,youlookterrible.你是不是病了Areyousick?被生活气病吗是的Oflife,yes.那就好不会传染Oh,good.That'snotcontagious.快进来我要被阳光刺瞎眼了Getinhere.Thelight'skillingme.你一身酒味好臭Yousmelllikealcohol.Yucky.看谁来作客了1.ookwhocametovisit.好开心呢Oh,great等你听到我助姥姥免受牢狱之灾的Youwillthinkit'sgreatwhenyouhearthebrilliantlegalstrategy绝妙法律对策你会真的开心IhavetokeepMeemawoutofprison.你不是搞科学的吗Ithoughtyouwereascienceguy.是但有时我也喜欢到别的领域展翅探索一番Iam,butsometimesIliketospreadmywings.好吧你继续说Oh,okay.Uh,proceed.你有什么办法Whatdoyougot?很简单'It'ssimple.根据德州刑法第46B条我们辩称WeargueunderArticle46-BoftheTexasPenalCode你由于精神失常不宜接受审判thatyou'reunfittostandtrialduetomentalincompetence.你想告诉他们我疯了You-youwanttotell'emmcrazy?对保持你现在这副模样能增加可信度Yes.Andkeepthislook.Itreallybolstersourcase.这招成功过吗Hasthisworkedbefore?成功过Ithas.这倒是好消息Oh.Well,that,sgoodnews.坏消息是你很可能会被送进精神病院Thebadnewsis,you'llprobablybeinstitutionalized.你你想让我进疯人院You-you.youwantmetogotothenuthouse?我只是不想你进监狱Iwantyoutostayoutofprison.小饼饼我真的很感谢你Oh,MoonPie,thankyou.Thankyousomuch.谢谢你帮我想办法但不用了Ireallydoappreciateit,butmfine.我有个朋友他侄子是律师Youknow,Ihaveabuddywhosenephewisalawyer.他会帮我们的He,sgonnahelpusout.是因为我还没通过法考吗IsthisbecauseIhaven'tpassedthebaryet?那只是走个过场猴子也能办到Becausethat,sjustaformality.Amonkeycoulddoit不只是从更有专业经验的人那里No,I.Ithinkthatdjustfeelalittlemorecomfortable获取建议ifIwasgettingadvice我会更安心fromsomebodywhohadalittlemoreprofessionalexperience.好吧虽然我花了一天半时间学法Okay.Imean,vebeendoingthisforadayandahalt但还是随便你吧butsuityourself.我买♥♥了鸡蛋和清单E的东西Gotyoureggs,everythingonthelist.谢谢你Thankyou.我还顺便在那里Alsofilledoutanapplication填了申请表当打包员tobeabagboywhileIwasthere.Oh.真棒我的女婿是打包员Wonderful.Myson-in-law,thebagboy.这只是暂时的It'sonlytemporary.我会一路升迁先是收银员llmakemywayuptocashier,然后是夜班经理接着是正式经理thennightmanager,thenmanager-manager,再来是区域主管这是我最终进入HQ的跳板thenregionalsupervisor,thenit'sjustahop,skipandajumptoHQ.HQ是总部的缩写That'sshortforheadquarters.你没有高中文凭也能做到这些吗Youcandoallthatwithoutahighschooldiploma?只要你加入”有志者事竟成协会”就行Ifyou'reamemberofthecan-doclub.老天救救我吧Godhelpme.我把杂货放好lljustputtheseaway.”有志者事竟成协会”是什么把我妈气得够呛What,sthecan-doclub,andwhyismymomsomadaboutit?你在做什么Whatareyoudoing?清理雨水槽Cleaningouttheseraingutters.否则雨水会倒灌Otherwise,thewatergetsbackedup对屋顶糟成巨大破坏andwreckshavoconyourroof.是“造成”巨大破坏Wreaks.havoc.不我很确定是糟成No,mprettysureit'swrecks,因为就是会弄得很糟啊'causethat'swhatitdo.你看Oh,lookatthat.奥德丽这是你的飞盘吗Audrey,isthisyourWham-0?奥德丽Audrey?老狼说"我要愤怒地Andthewolfsaid,"mgonnahuff把你的房♥子吹倒”andpuffandblowyourhousedown.”别担心爸爸绝不会让你遇到这种事Don'tworry.Daddy'llneverletthathappentoyou.我会保护好你mgonnakeepyousafe.有人需要换尿布咯Somebodyneedsanewdiaper.来我给你换一张Comeon,let'sgetyouone.你好啊Oh,hey.她继承了你和曼蒂的美貌可是She'sgotyouandMandy'sgoodlooks,but-她拉的屎跟她亲爹的一样臭phew-shepoopslikeherdad.真可爱1.ovely.你姥姥会渐渐喜欢上我的Yourgrandma'scomingaroundonme.她会的Yeah,sheis.好消息是我和地方检察官谈过后Thegoodnewsis,I'vehadsomeencouragingtalks感觉很有希望我认为我们能withthedistrictattorney,andIthinkthatwecan.且慢你几岁了Hangon.Howoldareyou?我知道我看起来很年轻但我已经24岁了IknowIlookyoung,butm24.你竟敢给我找个小屁孩律师Youbringmeachildattorney?你本来都打算听取14岁小屁孩的建议了Well,youwereabouttotakeadvicefroma14-year-old.那是哪一位我可能认识他Oh,who'sthat?Imightknowhim.继续说你刚才要说的Oh,justfinishupwhatyouweresaying.好你只要签一份协议就不用出庭受审Right.Adealcanbemadewithoutgoingtotrial.你认罪付罚金吊销营崛照Youpleadguilty,payafine,loseyourbusinesslicense,可能再做些社区服务maybesomecommunityservice,就可以被判缓刑不用坐牢probation,butnojailtime.这么说我会失去地下赌场Solllosethegamblingroom,但能保留洗衣店和录像带出租店-不butIcankeepthe1.aundromatandthevideostore?-No.这些都被视为犯罪产业的一部分Thoseareallconsideredapartofthecriminalenterprise.要被没收Theygetconfiscated.要是我申辩呢WhatifIfightit?基于什么理由Onwhatgrounds?我不是开非法地下赌场Ididn'thaveanillegalgamblingroom.而是收集Icollected.古董老虎机antiqueslotmachines.这是我的兴趣爱好Itwasmyhobby.那逃避追捕怎么说Andtheevadingarrest?我只是在带我的外曾孙女高速散步Iwasjusttakingmygreat-granddaughterforabriskstroll.我被搞糊涂了mconfused.你是不是开始用精神失常这招了Didwestarttheinsanityth