Inside No. 9《9号秘事》第九季第一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

本节目包含一些不适言语Thisprogrammecontainssomestronglanguage.火车隆隆声TRAINRUMB1.ES为了您的安全保障TANNOY:Forthepurposesofsafetyandsecurity,本站所有线路CCTVisinoperationatthisstation都装有监控系统andacrossallundergroundlines.谢谢Thankyou.女士们，先生们，我刚刚得知TANNOY:1.adiesandgentlemen,vejustbeeninformed下一站已关闭thenextstationisclosed.火车不会在下一站停靠Thistrainwillnotbestoppingatthenextstation.真倒霉ForGod'ssake!什么？我刚刚没听到Whatwasthat?Imissedit.我们不会在下一站停车We'renotstoppingatthenextstation.了解，非常感谢Ah.Thankyousomuch.让一让好吗？对不起，兄弟Doyoumind?Sorry,bro.我只是在看地图mjustlookingatthemap.你知道下一站是哪里吗？不知道Doyouknowwhatthenextstation'sgoingtobe?No.我好像在哪见过这个人，谁？IthoughtIrecognisedherfromsomething.Whichone?有牙齿的女士TheIadywiththeteeth.你得具体点，格里You'llhavetonarrowitdown,Gerry.她是女仆，还是什么的Shewasthemaidorwhatevershewas.什么女仆？Whatmaid?没有女仆，故事发生在一家鞋厂Therewasn'tamaid.Itwassetinashoefactory.那就是老板，我不记得所有细节了Well,theboss,then.Ican'trememberallthedetails.她当时在刑事法庭ShewasinCrownCourt.那是50年前的事了Thatwas50yearsago.不是“刑事法庭“，是“王室”NotCrownCourt,TheCrown.那么，她是谁呢？Well,whowassheinthat?我想她是玛格丽特公主IthinkshewasPrincessMargaret.莱斯利曼维尔？1.esleyManville?也许是吧Well,itmighthavebeen.人们总要工作Peoplehavetowork,Edie.我们看到了莱斯莉曼维尔的作品Wehaven'tjustseen1.esleyManville在一部业余制♥作♥的金奇靴子中inanamateurproductionofKinkyBoots,Gerry.真该死，这周城里有流浪汉大会吗？Frigme!Isthereahomelessconventionintownthisweek?在你后面，你这个瞎眼的嫉♥子♥What?Behindyou,youblindbitch.如果在找你♥爸♥,他就在那边Ifyou'relookingforyourdad,he'soverthere.别这样，他也没办法Don't,Wilm,hecan'thelpit.我觉得他挺可爱的Ithinkhe'skindofcute.好吧，那你就和他上♥床♥吧Fine,goaheadandshaghim,then.至少你不用付他回家的车费r1.eastyouwon'thavetopayforhistaxifarehome.晚上好，女士们先生们Goodevening,ladiesandgentlemen.非常抱歉，打扰您Verysorrytobotheryou.希望你们都能度过一个美好的夜晚Ihopeyou'reallhavingawonderfulevening.不过，从我的外表，你大概也能看出来Butasyoucanprobablytellfrommyappearance,我现在露宿街头msleepingonthestreetsatthemoment.我想请问，有没有好心人可能maskingifitwouldbepossibleforanyofyougoodpeople给我点零钱tohelpmeoutwithalittlebitofsparechange.我真不好意思这样做msoembarrassedtohavetoaskyoulikethis,但我现在没有任何选择butIdon'thaveanyoptionsatthemoment.如果您能提供任何帮助，我将不胜感激dreallyappreciateanythingyoucangive在这个困难的时刻帮助我tohelpmeoutatthisdifficulttime.对不起，亲爱的，我没有零钱msorry,darling.Idon'thaveanychange.确实No-onedoes.我需要一台刷♥卡♥机Ineedacardmachine.什么？不，不，不，不，不What?No,no,no,no,no.你为什么要这么做，兄弟？Whatdoyouwanttodothatfor,bro?如果你使用银行卡，他们就能追踪到你Theycantrackyouifyouusecards.谁？他们，不是吗？他们正在监视我们Whocan?Them,innit?They'rewatchingusrightnow.别用卡，只收现金Nocards,cashonly.你有现金吗？Doyouhaveanycash?没有Uh,no.给你，亲爱的Hereyougo,dear.哦.Oh.谢谢，很抱歉，给得不多Thankyou.Sorryit'snotmuch.没关系，我很感激That'sallright,Iappreciateit.一点一滴都是帮助，对吧Everylittlehelps!Yeah?别说了，他不会知道乐购的Stopit,Edie.Hewon'tknowTesco's.我不是说乐购1didn'tmeanTesco's.我只是把它当作一个短语来说Iwasjustsayingitasaphrase.只是不要卷入其中Justdon'tgetinvolved.天哪，你还好吗？Jesus!AreyouOK?你没事吧，兄弟？AreyouOK?Youallright,bro?没事.Yeah.你在开玩笑吧WI1.MA:Youarekiddingme!非常抱歉，停电了TANNOY:Verysorryforthepoweroutage,女士们先生们请坐好ladiesandgentlemen.Dopleasesittight等待我们努力恢复运行whilewetryandgetthingsupandrunningagain.希望不会太久Hopefullyitwon'tbelong.我听说有些乘客在地铁上被困MAN:Iheardsomepassengersgotstuckinatunnel待了两周的时间fortwoweeksontheBerlinU-Bahnsystem.电力中断，他们被困在里面Powerfailedandtheyweretrappedinside.救援人员无法接近他们Theauthoritiescouldn'tgettothem.他们坐在黑暗中Theysatinthedark,恐慌慢慢袭来panicslowlysettingin.然后他们就没水了Thentheyranoutofwater.最后他们反♥目♥成仇Theyturnedoneachotherintheend.弱小无助之人却被吃掉Theweakestonesgoteaten.天哪，我宁愿吃自己的奶♥子♥Jesus,drathereatmyowntits而不是大口吃着别人的老肉thanchowdownonhisgameyoldmeat.就像吃鸽子一样，你说什么？Belikeeatingapigeon.Begyourpardon?我是说，吞咽反射很奇怪，但我也有底线Imean,mygagreflexislegendary,butIdrawthelineatthat.别说了Stopit!你应该放尊重点，别管闲事，梅拉尼娅流浪汉Youshouldhavemorerespect.Oh,keepyournoseout,MelaniaTramp,或者我用你的零钱，放一些纽扣进去orllputsomebuttonsinwithyourchange.你叫我什么？Whatdidyoucallme?怎么了？有人碰了我Whatisit?Someonegrabbedme.谁干的？GERRY:Whodid?我不知道，我也不知道Idon'tknow.Idon'tknow.你还好吗？嗯，应该没事Youallright?Yeah,Ithinkso.好了，好了Allright.Allright有人拉我的包，我松手了，对不起They.TheypulledmybagandIdroppedit.Sorry.你受伤了吗？Areyouhurt?不，没有No,Idon'tthinkso.你觉得是为了袭胸吗？Weretheygoingforthebreasts,doyouthink?什么？我只是想查明真♥相♥Gerald!What?mjusttryingtoestablishthefacts.现在发生了什么？What'shappenednow?我们不确定We'renotsure.可能是电车里的不轨之人It'sasexpestinthecarriage.在黑暗中动手Operatesinthedark.我的钱包不见了，你确定吗？Mypursehasgone.Areyousure?是的，本来在这里，我刚拿到手，就不见了Yeah,itwasinhere.Ijusthaditandnowit'sgone.对了，就是他们Strikethat.Sexpestandthief.你能不说那个词吗？Willyoustopsayingthatword?什公词？不轨之人？是的Whatword?Sexpest?Yes!请坐吧，我来处理Sitdown,please.vegotthis.好吧，年轻人OK,youngman掏空你的口袋emptyyourpockets.什么？What?掏空你的口袋Emptyyourpockets.这位女士的钱包被偷了Thisladyhashadherpursestolen.这跟我有什么关系？What'sthatgottodowithme?我还不清楚Idon'tknowyet.为什么偏偏是我？WhyamIbeingsingledout?我并不是不近人情Idon'tmeantobeinsensitive,但你是唯个在这里乞讨的人butyou'retheonlyonebeggingformoneyhere.这并不意味着我是个小偷Thatdoesn,tmeanmathief.那就掏空你的口袋，不Thenemptyyourpockets.No.而且她的乳♥房♥♥还被人偷摸过Andshehadherbreastpinched.Gerald!没有，没有，没人这么做No,no.No-onedidthat.可怜的女人把它忘了Poorwoman'sblotteditout.事后完美反应Copingmechanism.你能安静点吗？对不起Willyoubequiet,please?Sorry.老实说先生，我什么都没做Honestly,sir,Ihaven'tdonenothing.Hedoesn'thaveto没必要听他的，你又不是警♥察♥emptyhispocketsforyou.You'renotthepolice.他可能是哦Hemightbe.可能会在火车上做卧底，我见过他们Theyputthemontrainsundercover.veseen'em.听着，小偷肯定就在车厢里1.ook,thethiefisdefinitelyonthiscarriage.在没有法律规定情况下，我只想核实一下Intheabsenceofthelaw,Ijustwanttocheck.我只是想帮助这位女士monlytryingtohelpthislady.这很合理That'sreasonableenough.当然是这样Absolutelyitis.如果他需要脱衣搜身Andifheneedsstrip-searching,我的腰包里有凡士林和乳胶手套vegotsomeVaselineandlatexglovesinmefannypack.她给了我两英镑，我为什么要抢她的钱？Shegaveme£2.WhywouldIrobfromher?这可是最老套的把戏了什么把戏？Well,that,stheoldesttrickinthebook.Whatis?你还记得斯汀的会计的事吗？YourememberwhathappenedwithSting'saccountant?他以为他们是朋友，却骗了他六百万Hethoughttheywerefriends.Scammedhimforsixmil.这不是一回事It'shardlythesamething,Gerry.他们总是从小做起Theyalwaysstartsmall.我不介意给你看我的包Idon'tmindshowingyoumybags.啊，这儿，看到了吧Ah,thereyouare,yousee.谢谢，一切都很好SHOUTS:Thankyou,sir.It,sallperfectlyfine.如果你没什么可隐瞒的，自然没问题There'snothingtohideifyou'vegotnothingtohide.对吧？Huh?好极了，谢谢That'sgreat.Thankyou.我还有很多Idohavemore.这.算了吧That's.HEGASPS.fine.你不想检查一下吗？Don'tyouwanttocheckthem?不，没关系No,it'sOK.我相信你Itrustyou.如果我是你，不会这么做的，女生Iwouldn'tifIwereyou,miss.耳机都没连上WHISPERS:Notpluggedin.我们不介意被搜身，对吧？Wedon'tmindbeingsearched,dowe,Edith?嗯，是的，但是.Well,yes,but.只是为了排除嫌疑Justtoruleourselvesout.我们去过剧院We'vebeentothetheatre.我们喜欢吉尔伯特和沙利文，我们不是流氓WeenjoyGilbertandSullivan.We'renothoodlums.老实说，你不必这样做，没关系的Honestly,youdon,thaveto,it'sfine.里面有多少钱？Didyouhavemuchmoneyinit?不多，但银行卡都在里面No,notmuch.Butallmycards.好吧，别别用卡Well,don't.don'tusecards.为什么没人听我说？Whywillno-onelistentomeaboutthis?还有一张我父亲的照片Andaphotographofmyfatherwhich.我不想失去它TEARFU1.1.Y:Iwouldn'twanttolosethat.好吧，听着，我很乐意配合Well,look,Iamhappytocomply并证明我没有拿它andshowthatIhaven'tgotit.伊迪丝？伊迪丝Edith?Edith.嗯Um.这只是一件外套Thisisjustacarcoat,所以它没有口袋soitdoesn'thavepockets,我的手提包里什么都没有andthereisnothinginmyhandbag.嗯，两个苹果核Well,twoapplecores.看到了吗？Yousee?这才是诚实、正派公民该做的事That'swhathonest,decentcitizensdo.现在Now你会让我检查你的口袋吗？areyougoingtoletmecheckyourpockets?谢谢Thankyou.并不难，不是吗？Wasn'tsohard,wasit?你认为呢，亲爱的，场面有些别致Speakforyourselfdarling.Ifounditquiteerotic.别这么幼稚Don'tbesochildish.我打赌，你在开车时，没试过把阴♥茎♥夹在两腿之间Well,Ibetyou,venevertriedtokeepatuckwithasemion.要我跟司机说吗？ShallIspeaktothedriver?告诉他出了点事Tellhimthere'sbeenanincident.好主意，适合当主管部门Goodidea.Properauthorities.那你的口袋呢，总督察？Whataboutyourpockets,ChiefInspector?我们能看看吗？Canwelookinthem?当然Yes.当然可以Ofcourse.看到了吗？Yousee?没有人可以凌驾于法律之上No-oneisabovethelaw.你不能为所欲为而不计后果Youcan'tjustdowhatyouwantwithoutconsequences.确实，我把邻居家的绣球花剪掉了That'strue.Isnippedourneighbour'shydrangeasback他们出于怨恨，种植了竹子andtheyplantedbamboooutofspite.停车道被毁了，是吧Thedrive,sruined,isn'tit,Gerry?恐怕是的mafraidso.这是一种疯狂的行为Itwasanactofmadness,而现在，我们生活正在蚕食之中andnowwelivewiththeencroachment.像九头蛇的牙齿一样，一排排地戳进柏油路面！ShaftsofitpokingthroughthetarmaclikeHydra'steeth!您试过浇开水吗？Haveyoutriedboilingwater?我们当然有！但没用！Ofcoursewehave!Itcan'tbestopped!对不起Sorry.你在哪工作？Whoyouworkingfor?海顿文法学校，我是一名物理老师HightonGrammar.maphysicsteacher.不，不，不，我不相信他No,no,no,Idon'ttrusthim.他一直在监视我们He,sbeenspyingonUSthewholetime.别傻了Don'tberidiculous.你一直在用代码，记录我们的事Yeah.You'vebeenwritingstuffdownaboutusincode.这是一个多边形字谜That'sapolygon.是的，看“演员“假冒"“特遣部队”Yeah!1.ook"actor","fake","taskforce".这是一个谜题It,sapuzzle.你必须用有限的字母组成单词Youhavetomakewordsfromtheletterstheygiveyou.哦，我很擅长这些，让我看看Oh,I'mgoodatthose,letmesee.你在整理信息，我看到了You'recollating.Iseeyoucollating.整理什么？Collatingwhat?数据，对他们来说有更大的阴谋，是吧？Data.Forthem.There'sabiggerpicture,yeah?是啊，我们都被监视着，你一定知道Yeah,we'reallbeingmonitored.Youmustknowthat.是的，是外星人Yes!It'saliens.我也见过他们veseenthemtoo.他们在普雷斯顿的一个公交车站拿我做实验TheyexperimentedonmeatabusstopinPreston.他们把R2-D2塞进/我的屁♥股♥里TheyputanR2-D2inmybottom.是按照比例做的Toscale,obviously.他不是在开玩笑He,snotjoking.你怎么知道？Howdoyouknow?就在他包里呢He'sgotitinthatbag.我的天啊Oh,myGod.说到包，我们能看看你的包吗？Speakingofbags,canweseeinsideyours?绝对不行Definitelynot.私人物品Privateproperty.其他人都照做了，我说了不行Everybodyelsehas.Isaidno.为什么呢？Whynot?你有什么可隐瞒的？Whathaveyougottohide?滚开，别碰我0i,fuckOffman.真对不起msosorry.我我不是故意给大家带来麻烦的I.Ididn'tmeantocausethismuchupset.别担心，这不是你的错Don'tworry,it,snotyourfault.我只是有点惊讶mjustabitshaken.我从来没被偷过东西I'veneverhadanythingstolenbefore.好吧，我相信警♥察♥能解决这一切Well,msurethepolicecansortitallout.我们会发表声明的，对吧，当然We'llmakeastatement,won'twe,Gerry?Yes,ofcourse.对不起，我和警♥察♥没什么好说的msorry,butmnotsayingshittothepolice.我不会相信他们Iwouldn'ttrustthemasfarasIcouldthrowthem.这并不奇怪，不是吗？Hardlysurprising,isit?你为什么这么说？Why'dyousaythat?哦，不为什么Oh,noreason.不，继续，如果你有话要说No,goon.Ifyou'vegotsomethingtosay,我觉得你应该说出来Ithinkyoushouldsayit.我当老师已经25年了vebeenateacherfor25years.我亲眼目睹了人们对权威的尊重Fl渐消退I'veseentheerosionofrespectforauthority.曾几何时，我走进教室TherewasatimewhenIwouldwalkintoaclassroom30名学生会立即站起来and30studentswouldstandupimmediately.哦，这就是你想要的吗？Oh,isthatwhatyouwant?”早上好，老师”"Goodmorning,sir."这位女士是一名护士！Thisladyisanurse!不久前Itwasn,tsolongago我们站在街上歌♥颂他们的努力wewerestandinginthestreetapplaudingtheirefforts.或者，你根本就没在意过？Ormaybeyouneverbothered?是，也许我从没在意过No,maybeIneverdid.你有敲锅抗♥议&hearts渚的名单吗？Doyouhavealistofeveryonewhobangedapan?哦，政♥府♥知道，他们什么都看到了Oh,theGovernmentdo.Theyseeeverything.我们至少去了三次，对吧Wewereoutthereatleastthreetimes,weren'twe,Edith?不过，那些厨具太他妈重了Althoughthat1.eCreusetwasbloodyheavy.也许有一天，有一个受害者Assomedayitmayhappenthatavictimmustbefound我有一张小清单，我有一张小清单vegotalittlelistvegotalittlelist社会犯罪者，很可能是地下犯罪的人♥渣♥Ofsocietyoffenderswhomaywellbeunderground谁也不会漏掉Andwhoneverwouldbemissed永远不会被漏掉Whoneverwouldbemissed有肮脏的There'sthepestilential.我去，这简直就是流浪汉的汉密尔顿Frigme,it'slikeHamiltonforhobos.是天♥皇♥里的哦It'sfromTheMikado.Oh!拍手叫好的人.Peoplewhohaveflabbyhands以及恼人的笑声Andirritatinglaughs所有在赶潮流的孩子.Allchildrenwhoareupindatesandflooryou.谢谢你，亲爱的，够了Thankyou,darling.We'llletyouknow.所有握手时Allpersonswhoinshakinghands.好了，好了好了，别再装傻了Allright!Allright,let,sstopplayingsillybuggers.打开包，不Openthebag.No.好吧，恐怕你必须打开Well,mafraidmgoingtohavetoinsist,因为你最接近这位女士becauseyouwereclosesttothislady当事件发生时，离我远点whentheincidentoccurred.Staythefuckawayfromme.不能错过任何可能Theyneverwouldbemissed.如果.我能提个建议吗？If.IfIcouldmakeasuggestion?我们来投票，看看大家感想如何1.et'stakeavote.Seewhatthegeneralfeelingis.很好Verygood,Edith.民♥主♥的体现Democracymanifest.有人认为Everyonewhothinks.对不起，我没记得你的名字Sorry,Ididn'tcatchyourname.我就没告诉你名字Ididn'tgiveyoumyname.我们可以投票决定，是否应该把包拿出检查Well,wecouldvoteonwhetherheshould.不，他不必告诉我们名字，没关系No,hedoesn'thavetogiveushisname,it,sfine.哈罗德，我叫哈罗德Harold.Myname,sHarold.你好，哈罗德Oh,hello,Harold.我是伊迪丝，这是我丈夫格里mEdith,andthisismyhusband,Gerry.你好Hello.宾克斯雷蒙德宾克斯Binks.RaymondBinks.我是埃琳娜mElena.很高兴见到大家It'sverynicetomeetyouall.我儿子的名字叫乔纳森，听着觉得恶心Well,myboynameisJonathanurgh,givesmetheick,但我的艺名butmydragname是威尔玛迪克肖威尔玛?isWilmaDickshow.Wilma.?迪克肖，好吧Dickshow.Right.每月的第一个周四，我都会做别致的午餐（演出）IdoabottomlessbrunchfirstThursdayofeverymonth在紫袜子酒吧，我想atthePurpleSock.Iknow把你们都列入客人名单llputyouallontheguestlist.格里和伊迪丝埃琳娜，你叫什么来着？GerryandEdith.Elena.Whatwasyournameagain?我不会告诉你我的名字，好吗？mnotgivingyoumyname,allright?该死的，我以为能问出点消息Oh,damnit.Ithought1wasgoingtoColumbohimthen.他不必告诉你名字，不用说半个字Hedoesn'thavetogiveyouhisname.Hedoesn'thaveto就因为你妄自尊大giveyouanything.Justbecauseyouassumeauthority,就像一个法♥西♥斯♥混♥蛋♥-一样likethefascistprickthatyouare.当警♥察♥介入时Well,whenthepolicebecomeinvolved,我们都得报上自己的名字，不是吗？we'llallhavetogiveournames,won'twe?我不会的，你告诉他哦，不好Iwon't.Youtellhim,Cleo.Oh,bumcheeks!好吧，已经托够久了，有没有人Allright,thishasgoneonlongenough.Isthereanybodyhere认为我不应该看这个年轻人的包whothinksIshouldn'tlookinsidethisyoungman'sbag,必要时使用武力？是的！byforce,ifnecessary?Yes!别看了Comeon.有人偷了她的钱包，亲爱的Well,someone'snickedherpurse,darling,而不是我anditwasn'tme.看到了吗？Thereyouare,see?交出来Handitover.0i,oi!你在干什么？Whatyoudoing,man?没有人帮帮我吗？给我Isno-onegoingtostanduptohim?Giveittome.谁来阻止他Someonestophim!还是我，伙计们TANNOY:Meagain,folks.对持续断电表示遗憾Sorryaboutthecontinuinglossofpower.我们应该很快就能出发了Weshouldbeonourwayfairlyshortly.我们知道发生了一起事件Weareawarethere'sbeenanincident在其中-节车厢inoneofthecarriages,并已通知有关部门andtheproperauthoritieshavebeeninformed.再一次Onceagain,如有任何不便，我深表歉意Iapologiseforanyinconveniencecaused.能把报纸还给我吗？CanIhavemynewspaperback,please?哦，对了，不出所料，我得到了"frock”Oh,yes.Igot"frock”,unsurprisingly,即“叉子”and"fork".我想拼"鸡♥巴♥"Iwanted"cock",但只有一个Cbutthere'sonlyoneC.你知道吗，”梅丽尔斯特里普”Didyouknowthat"MerylStreep"是"鳗鱼精♥子♥"的变形?isananagramof"tryeelsperm'?它总是让我心痒难耐It,salwaystickledme.司机怎么说？Whatdidthedriversay?他说马上就会有替代列车Hesaidthere,sareplacementserviceontheway.应该不会太久Shouldn'tbelongnow.看来我上班要迟到了Well,looksasthoughmgoingtobelateforwork.我真想上班迟到dlovetobelateforwork.我的工作是全天候的Myjob's24/7.你的工作？Yourjob?活着就好Surviving.你能赚很多钱吗？Doyoumakemuchmoneygoingupanddown?不No.人们只是觉得难为情，我明白Peoplearejustembarrassed.Igetit.我请求大家慷慨解囊maskingforgenerosity.把他们置于是否善良的境地Itputstheminthepositionofdecidingtobekindornot你认为人们不善良吗？Doyouthinkpeopleare