Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第五集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

前情提要Previouslyon.我叫布里是个酒鬼MynameisBree,andIamanalcoholic.布里走出了困境Breeputherproblembehindher.至少有个人愿意雇我谁There'satleastoneemployerwho'dlovetohireme.Who?奥森想要找个工作你Orsonaskedforajob.You.大卫大发雷霆伊迪你♥他♥妈♥的我说了不行Davelosthistemper.Damnit,Edie!1saidno!引起了这家伙一定有所企图Andarousedthesuspicion.Thisguyisuptosomething.邻居的怀疑都是凯伦麦克卢斯基的错Ofhisneighbor.ItwasallKarenMcCluskey'sfault.她不停地问我你的背景ShekeptaskingmeallthisStuffaboutyourbackground.她让我想到了祖母Sheremindsmeofmygrandmotherwhenwefirststartedtonotice.老年痴呆症你认为凯伦心智衰老Thedementia,thatis.YouthinkKaren'sgoingsenile?本是个美妙的夜晚Itcouldhavebeensuchalovelyevening.本打算办个充满惊喜的生日派对Yousee,theideawastohaveasurprisebirthdayparty.客人们带着食物和礼物Peoplewouldbringfoodandgifts关上灯等着主角入场andwaitinthedarkfortheguestofhonortoarrive.但它却成了一个大家并不喜欢的Butitturnedouttobeanightfullofsurprises.意外连连的夜晚Thekindmostpeopledon'tcarefor.勒奈特你为何一定要让人扫兴Damnit,1.ynette.Whydoyouhavetobesuchabuzzkill?你就不能给我点支持吗哪怕就一次Whycan'tyou,justonce,givemealittlesupport?好吧我去给你拿条毛巾Fine.llgetyouatowel.要毛巾干嘛Forwhat?如果我跟别的女人好上了你就不会担心吗IfIwaswithanotherwoman,thatwouldn'tbotheryou?不会No,itwouldn't.对不起我撒了谎不管怎么说Mm.msorrythatIlied,andforwhatit'sworth,我一直内疚地要死theguilthasbeentearingmeapart.把手拿开你这个自私的王八蛋Getyourhandsoffme,youselfishsonofabitch!奥森拜托别让我难做人Orson,please.You'reputtingmeinanimpossibleposition.那让我来为你做决定Thenletmemakeitsimplerforyou.我们离婚Iwantadivorce.是的本应是个美妙的夜晚Oh,yes,itcouldhavebeensuchalovelyevening,但这个派对还没来得及开始butthiswasonepartythatwasover.就结束:了Beforeitevenbegan.惊喜Surprise!你别和我耍花招Youthinkyoucanscrewwithme?Uhh!去派对之前Momentsbeforeshewastoleavefortheparty,加布丽尔索利斯在镜子前GabrielleSoliswasathermirror,心不在焉地涂着口红halfheartedlyputtingthefinaltouchesonherlips.她遇到了一个Yousee,aproblemhadcometoherattention.该死Damn.不可回避的难题Oneshecouldn'tglossover.妈妈你在做什么Mommy,whatareyoudoing?妈妈每月都会有个朋友来访Uh,well,mommyhasafriendwhovisitshereverymonth,现在还没来这很糟andshe,slate,andthat'sbad.为什么因为她的到来Why?Becauseshe'stheonewhoassuresme可以确保你不会再有个小♥弟♥弟♥或者妹妹但是我想有个小♥弟♥弟♥thatyouwon'tgetababybrotherorsister.ButIwantalittlebrother.我不在乎1don'tcare.对不起Oh,sorry.只是妈妈真的很想念这个朋友It'sjust.Mommyreallymissesherfriend,如果她不及时出现andmommy'sgonnabereallysad妈妈真的会很伤心ifherfrienddoesn,tshowupsoon.去楼下玩我要做做祈祷Nowgodownstairsandplay.Mommyhassomeprayingtodo.你的结果出来了Well,Ihaveyourtestresults.恭喜你怀孕了Congratulations.You,repregnant.索利斯夫人Aah!Mrs.Solis.我不想要你说这不会发生Idon'tcare.Youtoldmethiscouldn,thappen.你说了这不可能人的生殖系统很复杂Yousaiditwasimpossible!Thehumanreproductivesystemiscomplicated常常无法预料andoftenunpredictable.有时就会发生奇迹Sometimesmiracleshappen.这不是奇迹这是灾难Thisisn'tamiracle.Thisisadisaster.我老公眼睛瞎了我们都没工作Myhusband'sblind.Neitheroneofushavejobs.我老公是瞎子Myhusband'sblind.相信我有子是福Trustme.Childrenareablessing.你会看到会是这样的You'llsee.It'llallworkout.希望你是对的Well,1hopetogodyou'reright.这串数字什么意思Andwhatdoesthisnumbermeananyway?这是你的贝塔值还挺高表示你很有可能怀上双胞胎That'syourbetanumber,andit'shigh,whichindicatesthepossibilityoftwins.0w!加布放松这孩子是Gaby,relax.Thisbabyisgonnabethebestthing我们生命中最好的礼物我讨厌看到别人无关痛痒的样子thateverhappenedtous.Iamsosickofeverybodylookingattheglasshalf-full.这事关重要而且我们银行没存款了Theglassisempty,people,andsoisourbankaccount.这就是你担心的吗钱Isthatwhatyou'reworriedabout.money?听着我会找个工作1.oOk,I'11getajob.你能做什么Whatareyougonnado,拿着钢琴跟汽车城签个合同takeuppianoandgetacontractwithmotown?实际上我在想做个按♥摩♥师Actually,Iwasthinkingaboutbecomingamasseur.不需要看只用手就行Youdon'tneedyoureyesforthat.It,sallaboutthetouch.那主意不是很糟Well,Iguessthat'snottheworstideayou,veeverhad.但这不仅仅是钱的问题杆洛斯Butit,snotjustaboutthemoney,Carlos.这是It's.流产之后我就不再想怀孕的事了Oh,aftermymiscarriage,Igaveuponthisdream.我只是想上帝Ijustfiguredgoddecided知道我不可能是一个好妈妈Icouldn'tpossiblybeagoodmom,所以他不让我有孩子sohedidn'tmakeithappen.这很明显他改主意了Well,heobviouslychangedhismind.我倒希望他没有Well,Iwishhe'dstopdoingthat.没人喜欢善变的上帝Nobodylikesaficklegod.宝贝相信我Babe,believeme.你能怀孕只有万分之一的机率Yougettingpregnantis.is.Isaone-in-a-millionshot.这真是个奇迹It,samiracle.我们应该庆幸才对Nowlet,sembraceitandcelebrate.索利斯夫人你好Hello,Mrs.Solis.你的结果出来了1haveyourtestresults.我是不是贫血Great.SodoIhaveanemia?这是我感到疲倦的原因吗IsthatwhyI'vebeensotired?不不是No.Notexactly.请不要掴我Andpleasedon'tslapme.我怀孕了天哪又一个奇迹发生了mpregnant!Oh,mygod.It'sanothermiracle.是啊我们有两个奇迹Yeah,we,reuptotwomiracles,如果我杀了你以后你再活过来andifyoucomebackfromthedeadafterIkillyou,那就是第3个奇迹你为什么生我的气it'llbethree.W-Whyyoumadatme?”加布我为什么要戴套呢"Oh,Gaby,whydoIneedtowearacondom?不可能再第二次怀孕了”There'snowaylightning'sgonnastriketwice."我确实没想到会有第二次Well,Ididn'tthinkitwould.卡洛斯把孩子放下Putthebabydown,Carlos.我不想Idon'twantto.放下我现在想打人这人就是你Doit.Ineedtohitsomething,anditneedstobeyou.你全看错rYouarelookingatthisallwrong.这是万分之一的机率Thisisone-in-a-million.我们应该应该庆幸才对Weshould.weshouldcelebrateandembrace.闭嘴你这个死胖子Oh,cramit,youfertilefreak.去做结扎手术You'regettingavasectomy.我不能那么做Ican'tdothat.我们是天主教♥徒♥这有悖信仰We'recatholic.It'sagainstourreligion.有消息告诉你我们刚刚变成犹太教♥徒♥了Igotnewsforyou.Wejustconvertedtojudaism.问题解决了恭喜（犹太语）Problemsolved.Mazeltov!加布不仅是这个原因还有别的Gaby,it,snotjustthat.Thereareotherreasons.我受够了你的精♥子♥Iamdonefightingoffyourbionicsperm.去做手术最后命令You'regettingsnipped,andthat'sfinal.你今晚怎么那么安静You'reawfullyquiettonight.在想事情Gotalotonmymind.我觉得我怀孕了Ithinkmpregnant.什么What?我知道你已经做了结扎手术这应该不可能Iknow.It'scrazy.Youhadavasectomy.It,simpossible.恩那你怎么会觉得怀孕了Yeah.Sowhatmakesyouthinkyou'repregnant?我月经没来以前从没这样过Myperiod'slate,andthatneverhappenstome.每次就像瑞士钟表一样准没事的mlikeaSwissclock.Oh,comeon.很多因索都能导致月经晚来Therecouldbealotofreasonsforthat.现在先别担心这个Solet,snotworryaboutitrightnow.我们还要参加聚会你得高兴点儿We'regoingtoaparty.Yougottalightenup.好吧但我得和鲍勃谈谈鲍勃为什么Okay.ButmgonnatalktoBob.Bob?Why?因为他和李也参加聚会而艮鲍勃是个律师Becauseheand1.eearehere.Bob'sanattorney.我找他帮我告那个庸医mgonnagethimtosuethequack他明显没给你做好结扎whoobviouslybotchedyourvasectomy.加布别去了请律师很贵的Oh,Gaby,let'snotgothere.Hiringanattorney'sexpensive,况且我们也没什么证据andIdon'tknowthatwecanproveanything.别担心我会弄清楚的Well,mgonnafindout.好吧但是Fine.But.我们别和鲍勃谈了1.et'snottalktoBob.我不想我们的邻居搅进我们的事里Idon'twantourneighborsinvolvedinourbusiness.别担心他很专业的Oh,don'tworry.He'saprofessional.他会保密的He'llkeepitconfidential.加布不你不能和他谈Gaby,no.Youcan'ttalktohim.为什么不能我从来没做过结扎Whythehellnot?Inevergotavasectomy.你们好欢迎参加常会Hi,guys.Welcometotheparty.那晚早些时候Earlierthatevening,客人来之前asshewaitedforhergueststoarrive,苏珊花了些时间修理了下眉毛SusanMayertookamomenttodohereyebrows.当然她不可能知道Ofcourse,shehadnowayofknowing接下来的事justhowhighthoseeyebrows.抱歉我来晚了会让她多么吃惊Sorrymlate.Wouldsoonberaised.怎么这么久客人随时会来Whattookyousolong?Peoplearegonnabehereanyminute.你得帮我把便宜的伏特加Ineedyoutopourthecheapvodka倒进值钱的酒杯里我找不到我的裤子了intotheexpensivebottles.Icouldn'tfindmypants.我在这里呆了太久以至于我回到自己家mheresomuchthatwhenIgobacktomyplace,把东西放哪里都忘了Ican'trememberwhereanythingis.好吧赶快把衬衫换了Well,justpleasechangeyourshirt.知道吗我一直在想Youknow,vebeenthinking既然我和你在一起这么久了没错that1spendsomuchtimewithyounowanywaythat.fine.你可以往我的衣橱里放几件你的衣服Youcanhavealittlespaceinthecloset.刚好有一些80年代的衣服我打算把它们处理掉其实我是说我要搬进来Ithinkvegotsomeclothesfromthe'80smreadytopartwith.Actually,mtalkingaboutmovingin.搬进来这里Movingin?Here?对我们得往这方面发展Yeah.That'swherewe'reheaded.我们得尝试F你觉得呢Weshouldtaketheplunge.Whatdoyouthink?很明显这是卧室Soobviously,thisisthebedroom.对你想一直用这个颜色Right.Sodoyouwanttostickwiththiscolor还是想重新换些别的orswitchituporwhat?我不知道1don'tknow.Um.其实我正在经历msortofgoingthrough我生命中一个困难的转型期adifficulttransitioninmyliferightnow.我需要改变Ineedachange.我在想Uh,Iwasthinking.灰褐色Taupe.听起来不错Soundsgood.你知道我喜欢这里Youknow,Ilikethisplace.气氛很好It'sgotagoodvibe.谢谢Uh,thanks.气味不错是什么你的香水么Andanicescent.Whatisthat,yourperfume?出去Getout.你说什么Excuseme?我不是个小孩你是冲着我来的Iwasnotbornyesterday,pal.You'recomingontome.不是No,mnot.拜托告诉我我闻起来很好Oh,please.TellingmeIsmellgood?我甚至连除臭剂都没涂mnotevenwearingdeodorant我是说屋子闻起来很好Isaidthehousesmellsgood.文字游戏Semantics.然后硬生生地坐在床上Andthenthenotsosubtlesit-on-the-bedmaneuver?你干脆让我给你按♥摩♥好了Youknow,whynotjustaskforamassage?我坐着是因为我陪你转得脚疼Isatbecausemyfeethurtfromyoudraggingmearound转了1个小时不停的告诉我你要把房♥漆成灰色foranhour,tellingmeyouwanttopainteveryroomtaupe.你说你喜欢Yousaidyoulikedit.听着很明显你现在心情很不好1.ook,you'reobviouslygoingthrougharoughpatch.我担心Iwasafraid如果我说错了什么ifIsuggestedanythingoutsidethebeigefamily,你会自寻短见,Imightsendyouovertheedge.我会自己走的llletmyselfout.不别走No.No,don,tgo.谢谢你考虑我的感受Thatwasverysweetofyoutoconsidermyfeelings.告诉你我雇你了Youknowwhat?You'rehired.谢谢Uh,thanks.我想Ithink.你们还需要再看一遍公Sodoyouneedtolooktheseoveronemoretime?那好在上面签名Okay,thenjustsignthem,你们就正式离婚了andyou'llbeofficiallydivorced.请问能否稍缓Youknowwhat?Weneedaminute.不着急Takeyourtime.我们这么做对吗Arewedoingtherightthinghere?你没开玩笑吧You'rekiddingme,right?我们一旦签字就无法回头了Oncewesignthesepapers,there'snogoingback.我真搞不明白Ican'tbelievethis.是你叫的律师Youweretheonewhocalledthelawyer.我知道1know.我在想mthinking.或许那是个错误Thatmaybethatwasamistake.我们已经分手一年了We'vebeenseparatedforayear.今天算是正式分手Allwe,redoingtodayismakingitofficial.如果不是那次意外我们不会到这一步Wewouldn'tbehereifitweren'tforthataccident.你知道的那之前我们很好Youknowthat.Beforethat,weweregood.我们能合好的Wecouldgetbackthere.,l''1111Susan.谁都没错但我无法继续下去了It,snobody'sfault,butIcan'tdothisanymore.别这样Oh,comeon!我们是那对迈克和苏珊呀记得么WewereMikeandSusan,remember?这一辈子只有一次Youonlygetoneofthoseinalifetime.我们能处理好的Wecouldmakethingsrightagain.是啊Yeah.这样处理Andhere'show.你回来了Hey.You'reback.你觉得怎么样Sowhatdoyouthink?看起来不错Uh.it.itlooksgood.恩我觉得你选这个颜色很对Yeah,I-I-Ithinkyouwererighttostickwiththiscolor.看起来很不错Itlooksfantastic.谢谢Thanks.来点酒么Doyoulikescotch?好吧Okay.有些事我应该坦白点Ineedtobehonestaboutsomething.坦白好吧H-Honest?Okay.我不经常做这种事Idon'tusuallydothiskindofthing,很突然地在一起hookuplikethis,outoftheblue.不是说这样不好只是Notthatitwasn'tgreat,'causeitwas,我未曾准备真正开始交往butmnotreallylookingtostartanything.工作很乱Workiscrazy,我还养了条狗and1justgotadog,and.我觉得我现在不太适合mjustnotinthatplacerightnow.你的意思是Sojusttobeclear,你不需要一段真正的感情you'resayingyoudon'twantarelationship?抱歉我可能应该之前说清楚Sorry.Iprobablyshouldhavesaidthatrightupfront.没事No,uh.很好It'sfantastic.真的Really?我也不想太认真了Idon'twantarelationshipeither.有我们刚才做的就够rAllIwantfromyouisexactlywhatwejustdid.不过下一次叫我苏珊Exceptnexttime,it'sSusan.好的Yeah.“梅尔太太”对这个场合显然太正式了"Mrs.Mayer"wasprobablyalittleformalforthemoment.还会有下一次Sothere,sgonnabeanexttime?除非你不想Unlessyou'renotinterested.开什么玩笑Areyoukidding?我快活似神仙mthisclosetodoingavictorylaparoundthebed.所以你不介意我们这样Soyou'rereallyfinewiththis,纯肉体的关系justapurelyphysicalthing?我试过浪漫的方式Igaveromanceashotand.我现在想过得轻松些mreadyforsomethingalittlemorecasual.我听说过你这样女人但Wow.veheardofwomenlikeyou,but.我以为只是出现在都市小说里Ithoughtyouwereanurbanmyth,hmm.你听见我说什么了吗DidyouhearwhatIsaid?是的Uh,yeah.你想住进来Youwanttomovein.这是因为当你不在我身边时I-It'sjustthatwhenmnotwithyou,我就一直想着你mwaitingtobewithyou.我从没有过这种感觉I'veneverfeltlikethisbefore.所以你觉得怎么样So.whatdoyouthink?你想和我一起住吗Doyouwanttolivetogether?不Uh.No.就这样一个不”字Sothat,sit?Justno?你都不给我个理由You'renotgonnagivemeareason?现在这样不是挺好吗What'swrongwiththewaythingsare?为什么要改变它Whychangeeverythingnow?因为我爱上你了Because.vefalleninlovewithyou.大家好欢迎参加宴会Hi,guys.Welcometotheparty.勒奈特斯加沃在宴会前的最后一件事Thelastthing1.ynetteScavodidbeforeaparty就是检杳有没有白发wastocheckforgrayhairs.佩妮Penny!我们要出发了快去洗澡1.et'sgo!Timeforbath!她怎么也想不到今晚过后Shehadnowayofknowingbeforethiseveningwasover,她的白头发会多许多shewouldhaveafewmore.佩妮Penny!佩妮Oh.Penny.如果你想开车去兜风Ifyou'rethinkingoftakingthatforaspin,这是不可能的vegotbadnews.你才9岁You're9.怎么了宝贝Hey,what'sthematter,sweetie?爸爸要死了吗Isdaddydying?什么当然不会What?Ofcoursenot.你为什么这么说Whywouldyousaysomethinglikethat?我听见波特和普雷斯顿在争论IheardPorterandPreston谁能在爸爸死后得到他的车fightingaboutwho'sgonnagetdaddy,scarwhenhedies.他们在发痴而已Oh.They'rejustbeingsilly.他们总是发痴They'realwayssilly.所以当他们搬出去住时我们不会难过That'swhywewon'tbesadwhentheymoveoutofthehouse.出来Comeon.人总有一天会死的是吗Buteverybodydiessomeday,right?但是爸爸会活到99Yes,butdaddy'sgonnalivetoaripeoldage除非他不能赶回来unlesshedoesn'tgethome庆祝麦克卢斯基奶奶的生日intimeforMrs.McCluskey'sparty,如果那样就不能长寿了andthenallbetsareoff.爸爸会活得好好的进去吧Oh,daddy'sgonnabefine.Comeon.你好我丈夫他.我是勒奈特斯加沃Hi.Myhusband.I,m1.ynetteScavo.巴伦医生打电&hearts话♥给我我就是巴伦医生Dr.Baroncalledme.mDr.Baron.你好发生了什么Oh.Hi.Whathappened?你丈夫在饭店里Yourhusbandwasworkingonanelectricalpanel操作配电板时athisrestaurant.Uh-huh.受到强烈的电击Andreceivedamassiveshock.可以这么说他的心脏停了他现在Essentially,hisheartstoppedpumping.Oh.Ishe.幸运的是Fortunately,正巧有位警♥察♥在饭店里用餐therewasapolicemaneatingintherestaurant.他给他做了心肺复苏还叫了救护车Headministeredc.P.R.Untiltheambulancegotthere.他现在情况如何Sohe'sokay?他的心脏重新跳动了Hisheartrestarted.还需要留院观察是否有组织损伤Nowit'samatterofdeterminingifthere'sanytissuedamage.情况乐观但接下去36小时很关键We'reoptimistic,butthenext36hoursarecritical.奥布莱恩神父，请向Fathero,brien,pleasereporttothe.我在想Hey.Hey.Somthinking你再也别做电工活了好吗nomoreelectricalwork,okay?孩子们知道一切平安Huh?Thekidsknoweverything,sfine.他们让我告诉你他们爱你Theysendtheirlove.别担心好吗好好休息Don'tworryaboutanything,okay?Justrest.我很快回来I'llcomebacksoon,okay?你知道我当时在想什么吗YouknowwhatIthought?我倒在地上时WhenIwaslyingthereonthefloor,我想我就要死在这个披萨店里了1thought,mgonnadieinapizzaplace.我这一生就被Imean,mywholelifewasgonnabesummedup一片讣告总结为withthisobituaryheadline."本地一披萨店主身亡”"localpizzashopownerdies."别想了你又没死Butitdoesn'tmatterbecauseyou'renotdying.我需要更好的人生得有更好的人生Ineedmore,1.ynette.Ineed.Th-there'sgottabemore.好的我们一起努力Okay.Okay.We'llfindmore.现在好好休息好吗Justrestnow,okay?靓妹Hey,sexy.放下草耙上车来Droptherakeandgetin.这是什么Whatthehellisthis?这是我这辈子梦寐以求的车Thisisthecarthat1havewantedmywholelife.我12岁时WhenIwas12yearsold,就把这台宝贝的照片贴墙上了Ihadaposterofthisbabyuponmywall.我12岁时墙上贴的是肖恩、.凯塞蒂（影星）AndwhenIwas12,1hadaposterofShaunCassidy,可你没看到过我开着它到处晃悠吧butyoudon'tseemedrivingaroundinhim,doyou?我给你看样东西Iwanttoshowyousomething.怎么你还能从车灯里变出机关枪来What,domachinegunscomeoutoftheheadlights?我随身带着这个让自己铭记Icarrythisaroundtoremindme我差点见阎王的那天ofthedaythatIalmostdied.那天你答应同我一起寻找更好的人生Thatdayyoupromisedmethatwewouldfindmore.这辆车我要了mkeepingthecar.你需要搭车吗Sodoyouwantaride?你去哪了Ooh!Wherehaveyoubeen?快来帮我如果麦克卢斯基比我们早到Sohelpme,ifMcCluskeygetstherebeforeus,我就煮了你抱歉我们走吧Iwillbrainyou.Sorry.1.et'sgo.好吧Well,sheesh.Oh.亲爰的我们已经给凯伦买♥♥了蜡烛Sweetie,wealreadygotKarenacandle.一辆休闲车是不是太贵重了Anr.V.Mightbeoverkill.当然这不是给她的是给我们的Yeah,butthat'snotforher.That'sforus.我要给你灌输新思想Huh?mabouttoblowyourmind,1.ynette.别我觉得自己现在挺好的Oh,don't.Ilikemymindthewayitis.你觉得这个主意如何Whatwouldyousaytotheidea我们每年带着孩子们oftakingthekids