Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第七集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

前情提要Previouslyon.我们能重新开始吗Canwestartover?对紫藤郡的主妇们而言今天充满意外ItwasasurprisingdayforthewomenOfWisteria1.ane.我想问你是否愿意共进晚餐非常乐意Well,Iwaswonderingifyoumightwanttohavedinnerwithme.Okay.他让她达到高♥潮♥不不是故意的He'sgivingherorgasms?!Ah!Notdeliberately.我知道我们会成为好朋友Icanseewe'regoingtobegreatfriends.你是个充满活力有吸引力的女人Youareavibrant,attractivewoman,you.但我两年没有做♥爱♥了我不再年轻了Whohasn'thadsexintwoyears.Thatspells"grandma"tome.等我出去后让我和你一起住1.etmecomestaywithyouwhenIgetouttahere.那家伙以为我妥协了Thisguythinksmoutofcommission,我就将计就计andIwanttokeepitthatway.怎么了一整晚坐立不安我想我忘记关餐馆的冷库门了What'swrongwithyou?You'vebeenantsyallnight.IthinkIleftthefreezerdooratScavo'sopen.但好戏还在后头Butitwasanevenmoresurprisingnight.倒霉我爸来了对于斯加沃一家来说Crap!It'smydad!FortheScavos.她在哪别进去她没穿衣服Whereisshe?Don't.Sheisn'twearinganything,allright?她是谁只是班上的一个女同学Whoisshe?JustsomegirlfromEnglishclass.我去洗手间mgonnagointhebathroom.60秒内让她消失Yougot60secondstogetheroutofhere.当天晚上5分钟后斯加沃的家里Therewasaslightmisunderstanding有个小小的误会intheScavohousethatnight.家里的某个成员出轨了Yousee,someoneinthefamily对象是个已婚女士washavinganaffairwithamarriedwoman,勒奈特斯加沃怀疑自己的丈夫and1.ynetteScavosuspectedherhusband.虚惊一场冰箱门都关了Hey.Falsealarm.Thefreezerwasshuttight.不幸的是勒奈特错rUnfortunatelyfor1.ynette,shewaswrong.撒谎1.iar.什么汤姆我一直都知道我们会改变What?Ialwaysknewthingscouldchangebetweenus,Tom,但不管什么样butnomatterwhat,我以为你会一直尊重我theonethingIalwaysthoughtdgetisyourrespect勒奈特怎么了1.ynette,what'sgoingon?我跟随你到了仓库我什么都知道了Ifollowedyoutothewarehouse.Iknoweverything.噢男人的事Oh,boy.在这件事上Yeah,atthispoint,我认为我要的不止这些Ithinkmgonnaneedalittlebitmorethanthat.你是对的我不应该对你有所隐瞒You'rerightIshouldn'thavekeptthisfromyou.而且And.接下来我打算让你来处理Youknow,forwhatit'sworth,Iwantedtobringyouinonit.Huh?但我又怕你反应过度ButIwasafraidyou'doverreact.这就是你怕的吗Ahh.That'swhatyouwereafraidof?我也很担心Hey,mupset,too.但我们要面对事实男人就这德性Butlet'sfaceit.Boyswillbeboys.我想现在我需要坐下来Ithink.Ihavetositdownnow.勒奈特你真的很吃惊吗1.ynette,areyoureallysurprised?这已经不是第一次了It'snotthefirsttimethishashappened.也不会是最后一次Anditdefinitelywon'tbethelast你知道吗我现在想杀了你但他也是你儿子啊Youknowwhat?Ihavetokillyounow.Well,he,syourson,too.谁波特Who?Porter!你在说什么Whatareyoutalkingabout?Ifoundout.我发现波特在仓库里跟某个女孩约会Porter1Sbeenhookingupwithsomegirlatourwarehouse.你在说什么Whatareyoutalkingabout?就这样Andjustlikethat,加沃斯家里这个小小的误会解除了theslightmisunderstandingintheScavohousehadended.怎么了Hey.What'sup?你跟你最好朋友的妈妈上♥床♥You'rehavingsexwithyourbestfriend'smother?!一场天翻地覆的家庭战争Andahugefamilycrisis就此开始hadbegun.欲望导致我们误入歧途Desire.it'sanemotiondesignedtoleadusastray,致使我们买♥♥不能偿付的东西causingustobuythingswecan'tafford.诱引我们吃Encouragingustosampledesserts并不需要的甜点Wedon,tneed.促使我们陷入Andpushingusintoloveaffairs一段没有准备好的感情中去we'reclearlynotreadyfor.我想要你给那女人打电♥话♥Iwantyoutocallthatwoman告诉她你不会再见她andtellheryouareneverseeingheragain.她有名字叫安HernameisAnne.她叫希林夫人HernameisMrs.Schilling.你6岁的时候她还抱过你Shewasyourt-ballcoachwhenyouwere6.那你最好的朋友知道Bytheway,doesyourbestfriendknow你跟他妈妈上♥床♥吗you'resleepingwithhismother?科比还不知道我们的感情We'rekeepingourrelationshipfromKirbyfornow.这不是感情Thisisn'tarelationship.这个女人在利用你Youarebeingusedbythiswoman.不是的我爱她No,mnot.Iloveher.好吧那我打给她Okay,that'sit.mcallingher.不要No.如果是他老公接电♥话♥呢Hey!Whatifherhusbandanswers?波特Gee,Porter.那只是跟已婚女约会的一个坏处That'sjustoneofthepitfallsofdatingamarriedwoman.听我说希林先生不能知道这事的1.istentome!Mr.Schillingcan'tfindout.他是暴♥力♥狂他会杀了她He.he'stotallyviolentHe.hewouldkillher.那是你把她推到火坑里的Well,thenyouhaveputherinaverydangerousposition,不是吗haven'tyou?好吧我打给她告诉她一切都结束了Okay.I'llcallher.lltellherit'sover.我会说这些mnotgoingtosaythatyouknow.这会让她崩溃但请向我保证That'lljustfreakherout.Butyouhavetopromiseme你们不会跟她那个神经病老公说thatyouwon,tsayanythingtoherpsychohusband.我不会保证你什么事那一旦我发现Iamnotpromisinganything.Sohelpme,ifIfindout你做了伤害她的事thatyoudosomething,andshegetshurt,我会离家出走不再回来IwillleavethishouseandIwillnevercomeback!拜托你不会那么做的Oh,please!Youwouldneverdothat.是吗我会做很多Yeah?Well,i-vedonealotofthings你们意想不到的事youneverthoughtIwoulddo.等等Wait.我们什么都不会说Wewon'tsayanything.但如果你不把这事结束了你不用离家出走Butifyoudon'tendthis,youwon'thavetoleave.我们会把你赶出去Wewillthrowyouout.您想见我吗So.youwantedtoseeme?坐下Sit告诉我们直理Tellus,Charlie.你喜欢在范德坎普夫人小店里工作吗HaveyouenjoyedworkinghereatMrs.VanDeKamp's?喜欢这很好Yeah.It,sgreat.有否觉得我们亏待你了没有Youdon'tfeelyou'vebeenunderpaid?No.那也许你该解释一下Well,thenperhapsyoucanexplain为什么昨天从盒子里偷拿了200块whyyoustole$200fromthepettycashboxyesterday.什么我没偷东西What?Ididn'tstealanything.查理我们没证据是不会这么说的Charlie,wewouldn'taccuseyouunlesswehadconcreteevidence,多谢这位细心的搭档我们证据确凿andthankstomydiligentpartnerhere,wedo.那我是不是要被解雇了SoamI,like.fired?你已经被解雇了You'remorethan"like"fired.你被辞退了当然我们要拿回我们的钱You'refired.And,ofcourse,wewantourmoneyback.我没有了都花了Uh,Idon'thavehaveit.Ispentit那我们建议你把东西退了Well,thenIsuggestyoureturnyourpurchase.有收据吗Doyouhaveareceipt?有小贩们都会给小票Yeah.Yeah,likepotdealersgivereceipts.这点上你做得还不错Well,you'vejustcoveredyourselfingloryonthisone.但求你们不要告诉我父母Just.please,don'ttellmyparents.我保证把钱还给你们llgetyouthemoney.Ipromise.你能相信吗小偷加瘾君子Canyoubelieveit?Athiefandapothead!至少我们现在知道Well,atleastweknownow那2磅甜面圈去哪了wherethe2poundsofcookiedoughwent.太多了吗Toomany?我再要一个Yeah.Igottahaveonemore.Ah!谢谢你做这些Thankyoufordoingthis.我们现在既往不咎对吧Ah,well.weneededtowipetheslateclean,right?老实说Mm.Andhonestly?这是我有过的第二个最好的初次约会Thisisthebestsecondfirstdateveeverhad.是吗Isn'tit?知道我们不准备做♥爱♥后Mm.Andknowingwe'renotgonnahavesex感觉相当放松takesallthepressureoff.这是我们都要知道的吗That's.somethingweknow?是的Yes.我们完全是从头开始We'restartingcompletelyover,所以这次我们都要把事情做对sothistime,we,regonnadothingsright.也就是说W-Whichmeanswhat?也就是说Well,itmeans.至少等到第四次约会才能做♥爱♥Nosexuntilatleastdatefour.我们要川这段时间Ah.Iwantustospendthistime好好了解下彼此reallygettingtoknoweachother.我了解你I-Idoknowyou.我最不喜欢的词是什么What'smyleastfavoriteword?”痰“"Phlegm."你只是在猜测You'rejustguessing.是"内♥裤♥"It's"panties."尽管有段时间是呦虫”和“大块头”Ohh.Althoughsomedaysit's"larva"or"chunks."我会试着记住的Well,Iwilltrytorememberthat.讲讲关你的事我所未知的Mm.NowyoutellmesomethingIdon'tknowaboutyou.好吧Okay.我是个画家mapainter.你粉刷我房♥子的时候我感觉到了Isortofguessedthatwhenyoupaintedmyhouse.我意思是我绘画Imean,1paint.art.像是在框架里的帆布上1.ike.onacanvas,inaframe.真的吗Seriously?我去过巴黎艺术学校IwenttoartschoolinParis.我的教授戴着贝雷帽他很出色Andmyprofessorhadaberet,soyouknowhewasgood.而你现在却在粉刷我的浴室Wow.Sonowyou'repainting.Mybathroom?是啊Yeah.真要命啊Itsucks.但去年开始我就没灵感了Butvebeenblockedforthepastyear.没灵感是的Blocked?Yeah.我一直尝试新的作品但Imean,Ikeeptryingtostartnewpieces,but.什么也画不出来我快疯了Nothingcomes.It's.drivingmecrazy.很抱歉事情没有进展顺利Well,msorrythingsaren'tgoingwell.但我很高兴你讲给我听Butmgladyoutoldme.看到了吧我们开始了解彼此See?We,regettingtoknoweachother.如果整夜都躺在床上我们不会这么有收获AndWewouldn'thaveifwe,dspentthewholenightinbed.是啊Yeah.现在我在创作和性方面都才思枯竭Andnowmcreativelyandsexuallyfrustrated.初次约会真是太棒了Firstdatesareawesome.罗伯塔我知道你不喜欢乱扔东西Jeez,Roberta,Iknowyouhatetothrowanythingaway,但你让搬运工把东西搬来了吗butdoyouhavethegarbagemenbringingyoustuffnow?可惜我法语不好“鄙视你“用法语怎久说PardonmyFrench,butwhat,sFrenchfor"kissmyass"?你说大卫有个秘密SoyousaidDavehasasecret.你怎么从这些东西里发现的Nowhowyougettin'thatfromthis?这只是一堆电♥话♥号♥码It'sjustabunchofphonenumbers.没错对你来说也许只是一堆电♥话♥号♥码Yeah,itmaybejustabunchofnumberstoyou,但对于目光敏锐如警犬的侦探而言buttoasavvysleuthwithakeeneye你简直就是马普尔小姐（著名侦探）andthenoseofabloodhound.yeah,yeah,you'remissmarplewithabumliver.他隐瞒了什么Sowhat,shehiding?让我分♥析♥给你听每月的1号♥1.etmewalkyouthroughit.Aroundthe1stofeverymonth,大卫都会接到几通电♥话♥5个或6个Davegetsastringofcalls.Fiveorsix.就是这个位于波士顿的号♥码FromthisnumberinBoston.时间都很短10到15秒钟They'reallshort.10,15seconds.我猜他并没有接电♥话♥Myguessishe'snotpickingup.有人给他留了言例行询问情况每月一次Somebody'sleavinghimmessages.Youknow,buggin,him.Onceamonth,huh?我猜是前妻索要生活费Myguessisit'sanex-wifelookingforheralimony.恐怕不是看到这个了吗Exceptit'snot.Youseethis?几天之后他都会回电Afterafewdays,healwayscallsback.你会问他是打给谁呢Andwho,youask,ishecalling?波士顿的一家医院AhospitalinBoston.是萨缪尔.海勒医生的办公室It'stheofficeofDr.SamuelHeller.一位精神病医师Psychiatrist.所以每月一次So.onceamonth,大卫向一位波士顿的Davewhinesabouthislife精神病医师诉苦toabeantownheadshrinker,huh?爆♥炸&hearts性消息Bigwhoop.我在网卜.查看了大卫的档案1lookedupyourDavey,sdocontheweb.他可不是普通的精神病医师He'snotyourgarden-varietyshrink.他是享有盛誉的精神病医师He,sarenownedpsychiatristandpublishedauthor并在非常专业的学术领域发表过著作withaveryspecializedfieldofexpertise.亲爱的侦探Andthat,mydearWatson,这就是你邻居的小小秘密isyourneighbor'slittlesecret.必备畅销书治疗犯罪型精神病作者SamuelHeller医生You'rerightontopofme!奢侈的生活Oh,lapofluxury,我多么怀念这样的感觉啊howvemissedsittinginyou.西利娅胡安妮塔Celia!juanita!厨师已经做好r新鲜烘制的饼干Chefistakingfresh-bakedcookiesoutoftheoven.你追不上我的You'renotgonnacatchme!听到孩子们在这儿的欢笑声Oh,Ican'ttellyouhowniceitis实在是太美好了tohearthesoundofchildren'slaughterinthishouse.你知道我想说什么YouknowwhatIwasthinking?你们周末为何不留下来Whydon'tyouallstaytheweekend?我们当然愿意不行Ooh,we,dloveto.Jeez,wecan't.为什么不行西利娅的生日派对在周日Whynot?Celia'sbirthdaypartyisSunday.我们要去准备记得吗We'vegottagetreadyforit,remember?什么叫准备你买♥♥一块9美元的蛋糕What'stogetready?Youbuya$9sheetcake然后丢到树后膨这就是派对andflingapinataoveratreeandbam!Partytime.但我没衣服可换ButIdon,thaveachangeofclothes.我侄子留了一衣橱的旧衣服Mynephewleftawholeclosetfullofoldclothes.我相信有一些你穿会很合适msuresomethingwillfityou.卡洛斯同意吧Well.Carlos,justnodyourhead,我可不会离开这泳池的太好了就这么定了'causeIain'tleavingthispool.Oh,good.Itssettled.亲爰滴你的鸡尾酒快喝光了Oh,Gaby.YourMargarita'sgettinglow.我让布兰登给你送杯来llsendBrandonoutwithafreshone.谢谢Thankyou.你到底想干嘛Whatareyoudoing?你不是听见她说的了吗她想听到孩子们的笑声What?Youheardthewoman.Shewantschildren'slaughter.而我想尝尝晚餐时大厨烹饪的龙虾AndIwantthelobsterthechefisservingfordinner.双赢我只是觉得不自在It'sawin-win.Ijustdon'tfeelcomfortablewiththis.为什么Whynot?看看这里简直就是香格里拉Imean,lookatthisplace.Ifslikeshangri-la.没错这里的黑色沥青Wow,you'rerightThepitchblackIseehere可比家里的耀眼多了ismuchmoredazzlingthantheoneathome.你到底怎么了Whatisyourproblem?我觉得把金钱和快乐掺和在一起Myproblemisthatit'sabadidea可不是个好主意tomixbusinessandpleasure.和那个把她伺候得飘飘欲仙的按♥摩&hearts少币说去Saysthemanwhomassagedherintoanorgasm.不这样做还有更多的原因Evenmorereasontokeepsomeprofessionaldistance.卡洛斯她只是个寂寞的老太太Carlos,sheisjustalonelyoldwoman渴望友情和人际交往yearningforsomefriendshipandhumancontact.而我则乐于奉陪AndI,forone,amhappytobethathuman.索利斯夫人您的鸡尾酒Mrs.Solis?YourMargarita.太糟了我够不着Oh,shoot.Ican'treachit.嗯Mmm!伙计们抱歉我迟到了Hey,guys.Sorrymlate.你带啤酒了吗Hey.Youbringbeer?应该让我带吗不汤姆应该带WasIsupposedto?No.Tomwassupposedto.抱歉我以为我星期一带的2箱Gosh.Sorry.IthoughtthetwocasesIboughtMonday能喝到排练之后would'velastedmorethanonerehearsal.兄弟们我们今天最好还是别喝Boys,we'rebetteroffnotdrinkingtoday.我们只有一个星期用来做这么多的工作We'vegotalotofworktodoandonlyoneweektodoit.你在说什么Whatareyoutalkingabout?我们会在白马表演乐队战争（流行摇滚曲）Weareplayingbattleofthebandsatthewhitehorse!大卫乐队战争可不适合业余爱好者Uh,Dave?Battleofthebandsisn'tforamateurs.我们要排练Yougottaaudition.不必了Uh,wedon,t伊迪一个有钱朋友的老公是那家俱乐部的老板Edie,sgotarealestatebuddywhosehusbandownstheclub.开玩笑啊我们现场表演You'rekidding.We,replayinganactualgig?为了让观众掩耳不听Infrontofpeoplewhoaren,tlistening我还得给他们倒贴太荒谬了justbecauseIpaytheirallowance?Well,thisisfantastic!没错所以你们得有点压力Yes!Butthatmeansthepressure'son.我们得好好准备一番Wegottareallyrehearseourcoverstuff而且需要一首原创曲目and.weneedanoriginalsong.我可不会写歌♥Idon'tknowanythingaboutsongwriting.我懂一点你不懂I-Iknowalittlebit.No,youdon't.没事麦克和我来写歌♥It'sfine.MikeandIwillwritesomething.你一会有时间吗今晚不行我有约Yougotalittletimelater?Nottonight.Igotplans.有约"Plans"?女方是谁What'shername?我们先排练行了吧Canwejustrehearse,please?我听说苏珊和杰克逊分手了我听说他们和好了Youknow,IheardthatSusanandJacksonbrokeup.Iheardtheygotbacktogether.不是苏珊别猜了It'snotSusan.Stopguessing.排练吧Also,getlives.无论如何麦克Whatever,Mike,开心就好justsolongasyou'rehavingfun.谁说你把木板翻过来了Hey!Whosaidyou.Turntheboardaround.回来不过来摆几个姿势Getbackhere.No!Comeouthereandshowmesomemoves!很抱歉打扰你们Sorrytobotheryou.只是想知道我睡觉前你们还有什么需要的JustwantedtoseeifyouneededanythingbeforeIgoofftobed.不用了很好确定不要12号♥鸡尾酒了吗No,we'regood.Sureyoudon'twanttoorderMargaritanumber12?唠叨够了没Yousureyoudon'twanttoshutyourpiehole?你们俩斗嘴真可爱It,ssocute,howyoutwobicker.卡洛斯睡衣合适吗Carlos,howdothosepajamasfityou?很合身They'reperfect.希望你侄子别介意我穿他的衣服I-Ihopeyournephewdoesn'tmindthatIwaswearing,em.他不会知道的我们不怎么联♥系♥He'llneverknow.We'reestranged.好吧Oh.Okay.我们很好晚安Anyway,we'regood.Sohaveanicenight.那是什么Oh!What'sthat?人物扮演的Someanimatedthing.我喜欢人物扮演的电影1loveanimatedmovies.小姑娘们想看Thegirlswantedtowatchit,所以我们一家整晚都在看电影sowe'rekindofhavingafamilymovienight.听起来很有趣Ooh,thatsoundslikefun!天哪那企鹅在冲浪吗Myheavens,isthatpenguinsurfing?不知道我看不到屏幕了Gee,Idon'tknow.Ican'treallyseethescreenanymore.亲爰的我太鲁莽了Oh,dear.mbeingrude.没事Oh,that'sokay.这样就好多了There.That'sbetter.她在爬是的Didshejustcrawlunder.Oh,yeah.那时候我9年级AndsothereIwasinninthgrade,胸部却还没发育成型andmyboobshadnotmadeanappearance.我都绝望了Iwasdesperate.我给你倒点酒Here.1.etmerefillthatforyou.那时我在赛前运动会bAndsothat'swhen1gotcaughtstuffing被发现往胸部塞填充物atthepeprally.6个月后胸部变大了Andsixmonthslater.Kaboom.我被选举为舞会皇后干得好Iwasvotedpromqueen.Nicework,girls.别放了Stopthatrightnow.怎么了What?关掉那做♥爱♥的配乐Thesexmusic.Turnitoff.这可算不上吧That.that'snotsexmusic.在第4次约会前我们不能上♥床♥Wearenothavingsexuntildatenumberfour,这只是第二次约会andthisisdatenumbertwo.我知道Iknowwhatitis.只是你穿着那些热裤太辣了It.it,sjustthatyoulooksohotinthesepants,你闻起来很香andyourhairsmellssogood.还有你的眼瞄Andyoureyes.我为你做了晚餐拜托1.ook,1madeyoudinner.Comeon.杰克逊我给你做了炖牛肉Jackson.Ibraisedbeefforyou.你知道做炖肉要花多少工夫吗Doyouknowwhatapainintheassitistobraisemeat?你只顾着炖肉而冷落了我Okay,doyouknowhowsaditmakesme你知道我有多难过吗toknowthatyouonlybraisedittoboinkme?你应该多问我些问题You'resupposedtobeaskingmequestions.这样我们才能更了解对方Thepointofallthiswastogettoknoweachotherbetter.你说你5年级时总爱咬自己头发Howisitgonnamakeourrelationshipstronger他们就把你送去做心理治疗formetoknowthatinthefifthgrade,但我知道了这事后theysentyoutothetherapist对我们的关系又有什么好处呢'causeyouwouldn'tstopchewingyourhair?这件事是我的痛处Youknow,thatwashardformetoshare,而你根本就不重视andthefactthatyoujustmakelightofit.我正式宣布第二次约会到此结束No,mamcallingtheseconddateofficiallyover.你知道吗Andyouknowwhat?刚才我正想让你从上到下欣赏一下我的上衣Iwasgoingtoletyoufeelmeupovermyblouse.但现在想都别想Butnow?Nada.在我们结束之前Sobeforewewrapuphere,我们还得找几位舞会的陪护人westillneedsomechaperonesforthejuniorprom.安.希林负责组织志愿者Anneschillingiscoordinatingthevolunteers,她真的很能干的andshecouldreallyusesomehelp.没人愿意吗Nobody?我知道大家都很忙Iknowwe'reallbusy,但这件事很重要butthisisimportant.我们都想让孩子们玩得开心但必须认识到Wewantourkidstohavefun,butlet'sfaceit如果我们不看着他们Ifwedon,tkeepaneyeonthem,那真的不知道他们会闯出什么祸来godonlyknowswh