Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

五年前Fiveyearsago,苏珊德尔菲诺在美景镇纪念医院一号♥产房♥生下了一个儿子SusanDelfinogavebirthtoasonindeliveryroom"a"OfFairviewmemorialhospital.片刻之后莱拉黛西在产房♥二号♥生了一个女儿Momentslater,1.iladashgavebirthtoadaughterindeliveryroom"B."第二天大约十点Around10:00thenextmorning,当二位新妈妈IE要离开医院asthetwonewmotherswereleavingthehospital,她们险些撞到对方theynearlyranintoeachother.当然她们并不知道Ofcourse,theyneverknewthis.实际上Infact,苏珊和莱拉若知道在今后几年Susanand1.ilawouldhavebeensurprisedtoknow她们的生活充满交集会倍感惊奇howoftentheirpathswouldcrossovertheyears.她们在当地咖啡店错过Theyalmostmetatthelocalcoffeeshop.还有一次是在宠物医院候诊室Andanothertimeattheirveterinarian'soffice.更有一次是在美景镇踏板车比赛的看台上错过AndagaininthebleachersoftheFairviewflyers.除了这些以外直到某一个星期二Butdespitetheseclosecalls,Susanand1.ilanevermet.苏珊和莱拉并没有见面那天苏珊决定和他丈夫去一家很棒的餐馆庆祝纪念日UntiloneTuesday,whenSusandecidedtotakeherhusbandtoafancyrestaurantfortheiranniversary.与此同时莱拉决定带着她的女儿去买♥♥冰激凌Atthesametime,1.iladecidedtotakeherdaughtertobuysomeicecream.那晚才是苏珊德尔非诺和ThatwasthenightthatSusanDelfino莱拉黛西真正遇见的时刻and1.iladashfinallyranintoeachother.麦克Aah!Mike!我们终将有一天Itwillhappentoallofuseventually.会问自己Themomentwillcomewhenweaskourselves.时间流逝到哪里去了Wheredidthetimego?曾经在襁褓中的孩子们HowdidthechildrenIoncecradled.为何一夜长大Growupsoveryquickly?为何我曾梦想的生活HowdidthelifeIdreamtof.变成一段我从未想过的事业TurnintoacareerIneverexpected?为何渐渐无法认识AndhowdidthatwomanIsaweachdayinthemirror.镜中的自己BecomesomeoneIdon'tevenrecognize?胡安妮塔这件裙子太紧了Juanita,thisdressisawfullytight.我觉得你穿不进去Idon'tthinkyoucangetintoit.不它很漂亮我穿得下No,it'spretty.Icandoit.这件可以吗-我想我们还要大一号♥How'sthatonefit?Oh,Ithinkwe,regonnaneedthenextsizeup.Ahem!这已经是最大号♥了Uh,thereisnonextsizeup.公主裙只适合7岁以下的女生Theydon'tmakePrincessdressesforgirlsover7.她才四岁半She'sonly41/2.我女儿受邀去参加一个公主派对Oh.Wow.1.ook,mydaughterwasinvitedtoaPrincessparty,我不能让全场就她一个人没有公主裙穿soIcan'tletherbetheonlygirltherewithoutaPrincessdress.有没有去角色扮装部看看Didyoutrythecostumesection?我想史莱克太太的衣服可能适合她Ibetthey'dhaveaMrs.Shrekdressthatwouldfither.胡安妮塔把裙子脱了我们走JUanita,takeoffthedress!We,regoing.不要我穿得进去No!Icandoit.我能理解你1.ook,Ifeelforyou.我侄女也有体重困扰我女儿才没有体重困扰呢Myniecealsohasaweightproblem.Mydaughterdoesnothaveaweightproblem.她只是有点婴儿肥Shehasalittlebabyfat,that'sall.实际上问题出在这家商店完全没有为正常四岁女孩准备好服装Infact,theonlyproblemshehasisthisstorebeingcompletelyunpreparedforaperfectlyaverage4-year-oldgirl.Uh-oh.收钱吧Justringitup.不No,no,no!天啊又怎么了Oh,forgodsakes.What'swrongnow?我再说一次表达的概念是这样的甜心Onceagain,theconceptis,sweetie,你把派从烤箱中拿出you'retakingthepieoutoftheoven,你红红的脸流露出惊喜yourfaceaglowwithsurprise.我为什么要惊喜-因为派做的很完美WhyamIsurprised?Becauseitturnedoutsoperfectly.这没有什么好惊喜的我的派一向都很完美Well,that,snosurprise.Mypiesarealwaysperfect.好吧这是你做过最完美的一个派Allright.It'syourbestpieever.你超越自我You'vetoppedyourself.Hmm?我在尝之前就知道了吗Mm.AndIknowthisbeforevetastedit?甜心你想什么表情就什么表情吧SweetieJustmakewhateverfaceyouwant.我只是想让你的食谱书畅销Ijustthinkyou'llsellmorecookbooks别摆出一副死鱼脸的ifyoudon'tlooklikeyoujustmadelovetoanicecube.安德鲁我想休息一下Andrew,dear,mgoingtotakealittlebreak.麻烦告诉那位先生如果他再叫我甜心Wouldyoupleasetellthisgentlemanthatifhecallsme"sweetie"我会抢了他的相机让他好看onemoretime,mgonnagrabhiscameraandtakeapictureofhiscolon?你听见了吧Yougotthat,right?凯瑟琳你来这干什么Katherine,hi.Whatareyoudoinghere?要付钱给服务员但是你又把钱箱钥匙拿走了Thewaitersneedtobepaid,andyoutookthekeytothecashbox.again.抱歉付哪次的钱亚美尼亚婚礼还是给300人的午餐Oh.Sorry.Paidforwhat?TheArmenianwedding?1.unchfor300?是付给那次园艺俱乐部的早餐Itwasrightafterthebreakfastforthegardendub,你也没有来我很抱歉whichyoualsomissed.1.ook,msorry.我不知道照相要这么久Ididn'tknowaphotoshootwouldtakethislong.谁知道给书的封面摆个姿势要这么久1mean,whoknewit'dbethishardtoposeforabookcover?没事的Oh,you'llbefine.你最擅长的事情大概就是当主厨Ifthere,sonethingyou'rereallygoodat,凯瑟琳it'sposingasachef.Okay,Katherine.我知道这本书占用了我全部时间Iknowthisbookhasbeenmonopolizingmytime,你觉得工作太多又不被重视andyoufeeloverworkedandundervalued.但是我很感激你实际上我准备了一个礼物给你ButIdoappreciateyou.Infact,Ihaveagiftforyou.是我新书的样本It'sthegalleysofmynewbook.读第二页Readpage2.”献给凯瑟琳梅菲尔一位好的厨师和更好的朋友”"ForKatherineMayfair."awonderfulcookandanevenbetterfriend.'1你把它献给我了Youdedicatedittome?是你让一切成为可能Well,youmakethisallpossible.我无以回报It'stheleastIcoulddo.打扰一下Ahem!Excuseme.时间就是金钱快点开工甜心Timeismoney.Chop-chop,sweetie.安德鲁我们有备用的派吗Andrew.Dowehaveabackuppie?有的我们有Yes.Yes,wedo.很好Good.大盲注Andthebigblind.刚好拿到个J瞎猫碰到死耗子了CatchesaJackontheriver.普雷斯顿Preston?妈Mom!你在这干什么不要惊慌Whatthehell'sgoingonhere?Don'tfreakout.我们只是在玩牌是吗为什么不在家里玩We'rejustplayingcards.Oh,yeah?Whydidn'tyouplayathome?为什么在这里躲躲藏藏的Whydidyouhavetosneakinhere?龙舌兰酒五美元Tequilashots!5bucks!知道答案了Ah.Askedandanswered.所有人都出去游戏结束了Okay,that,sit!Everybodyout.Game'sover.我能用一下椅子吗CanIhaveyourchairforasecond?看着妈妈来了派对结束了Hey!1.ookuphere!Mom,shere.Party'sover.大门开着快走快Door'sopen.Outyougo.Goon.Shoo!你们做了很多蠢事Wow.Youguyshavepulledalotofstupidstunts.但是这事情Butthis?这个This?用我们的酒类许可证我们的生计做赌注Riskingourliquorlicense,ourlivelihood?谁会知道Who,sgoingtofindout?我们玩这个已经一个月了Imean,we,vebeenrunningthisgameforamonth,还没有人-太难以置信了你们关禁闭两周andnobody.Unbelievable.Youguysaregroundedfortwoweeks.不过我们还有个返校舞会Butwehavehomecoming.继续抱怨吧我喜欢这样Yeah,yeah!Keepcomplaining.dlovetomakeitayear.现在把这地方打扫干净Nowcleanthisplaceup.Now!真赞Oh.Oh.Wow.Thatwasfantastic.太棒了Amazing.你真不可思议Whew.Youwereincredible.你也是Sowereyou.Oh.And.你该走了Timetogo.,l''1111Whew.Susan?这样都4个月了吧Soit'sbeen,what,fourmonths?你从没想让我留下过夜吗Areyouevergonnaletmespendthenight?我不知道快点速度1don'tknow.Comeon,zippy,zippy.好啦只是Okay.It'sjust,youknow.一般都是姑娘们求我留下来过夜Girlsusuallybegmetospendthenight.不错呀你肯定不必为找地方睡觉发愁了Well,good,thenyoushouldn'thaveanyproblem好吧我知道规矩findingaplacetosleep.Fine.Iknowthedrill.我不能留下来过夜不能见你的朋友Ican'tspendthenight.Ican'tmeetyourfriends.不能见你的儿子Ican'tmeetyourson.mjustwondering.我只是在想能不能不要这么偷偷摸摸的了Isthisevergonnaturnintosomethingnormal?Youknow,you'reaguy,你只是和我共享热辣性福生活的家伙andwejusthadhotsex,我没让你搂着我睡觉andIdidn'tforceyoutocuddle.快走快走和哥们吹牛去Sorun!Go!Bragtoyourfriends.听我说1.ook.我喜欢你而我知道你也喜欢我Ilikeyou,andIknowyoulikeme.为什么我们不能在一起呢Sowhycan'twebeacouple?因为我还没有准备好'Causem.notreadyforthat.我只能处理好我们目前的关系Andwhatwe,vegot.That'sallIcanhandle.走吧Go.好吧但是这招不能总用啊Okay,butthat'sonlygonnawork,like,500or600moretimes.晚上好-能为你做点什么Goodevening.CanIhelpyou?该我来请问你我能为你做点什么Wrongquestion.Thequestionis,canIhelpyou?要是你上门来推销1.ook,ifyou'retryingtosellmesomething,我可没钱Idon'thaveanymoney.现在你有了Youdonow.我不明白Idon'tunderstand.给你钱买♥♥你租约到期mheretobuyyououtofyourlease.什么What?我知道有点突然1know.It'ssudden.但这房♥子Butthere'ssomethingaboutthishousethat.给我家一般的感觉Well,itjustfeelslikehometome.所以我想搬进来就在今晚Sodliketomovein.Tonight.今晚你疯啦Tonight?Areyoucrazy?有点吧Alittlebit.拿着Okay,here.足够你搬两次家的了Iwillmorethancoveryourmovingexpenses.我都在这安顿好了1.ook,uh.I-mallsetuphere.还有房♥东太太不会同意的Besides,mylandladywouldneverallowit.干嘛不让我来操心这些呢Whydon'tyouletmeworryabouther?不行我没什么地方可去了Mm,no.I-Idon'thaveanywhereelsetogo.我想你该走了Ithinkyoushouldleave.听着雷蒙德1.ook,Raymond.你怎么知道我名字Howdoyouknowmyname?我的价钱已经很慷慨了Imadeyouaverygenerousoffer,而且我知道你的决定没错andIjustknowyou'regoingtomaketherightdecision.五Five.什么五你在说什么呢Fivewhat?Whatareyoutalkingabout?四Four.你我搞不懂Areyou.Idon'tunderstand.三-停会Three.O-Okay.Hangonforasecond.Two.雷蒙德非常感谢Well,Raymond,thankyouverymuch.拿好保重Hereyougo.Takecare.一切搞定威廉姆斯太太Alltakencareof.Mrs.Williams.谢谢威廉姆斯先生Thankyou.Mr.Williams.第二天早上Thenextmorning,伊迪.布利特决定宣告她重回紫藤郡EdieBrittdecidedtoannounceherreturntoWisteria1.aneinaway.用一种Thatwasguaranteed.水花四溅的方式Tomakeabigsplash.你不会相信这个的Okay,you'renotgonnabelievethis,but.她回来了She'sback.伊迪真的是你吗Edie?Isthatreallyyou?你还认识谁在我这个岁数还有这幅好身材的Youknowsomeoneelsemyagewithabodylikethis?这么说你回来啦Soyou'reback?你房♥客怎么了Whathappenedtoyourtenant?他得了些银子就决定搬走了He,uh,cameintosomemoneyanddecidedtomove.我们就像见鬼我们搬回来Wethought,whattheheck?1.etsmoveback!“我们“"We,t?你们还不知道啦我有老公了Oh,youdon'tknow.Ihaveahusbandnow.真的谁家的Really?Whose?我在维加斯谈及房♥地&hearts产♥公约SominVegastalkingtothisrealestateconvention.我做一些激发性演讲Idoalittlemotivationalspeaking.在那里中间通道第六排Andthere.Sixthrow,centeraisle,坐着我见过最美丽的女人isthemostbeautifulwomanIhaveeverseen.演讲结束后我就走到观众席约会这位女神SoafterIfinish,IwalkintotheaudienceandIaskthisgoddessout.他的研讨会被称作“取你所需”Hisseminarwascalled"gettingwhatyouwant/'他践行了andhedid.晚餐之前做了3次Threetimes.Hmm.Beforedinner.非常高兴见到你大卫Well,it'scertainlynicetomeetyou,Dave,欢迎你来到紫藤郡andletusbethefirsttowelcomeyoutoWisteria1.ane.我们要一起晚餐或怎么样吗Oh,youknowwhat?Weshouldhaveadinnerorsomething.在我的馆子开派对吧非常荣幸Oh,let,smakeitaparty.Wecoulddoitatmyrestaurant.We'dbehonored.谢谢你Thankyou.加布我得问问So,Gaby,Ihavetoask.见鬼你怎么了看看你Whatthehellhappenedtoyou?Imean,lookatyou.你的衣着你的发型Your.yourclothes,your.yourhair.卡洛斯看不见但我们都没瞎啊-我有了两个孩子Carlosmightbeblind,buttherestofusaren't.Ihadtwochildren.干嘛的早餐吃的Forwhat?Breakfast?伊迪第一天与邻居重逢Edie?Onyourfirstdaybackintheneighborhood?你是对的You'reright.抱歉加布msorry,Gaby.无心冒犯以后不会再发生了Itwasrudeandinsensitive,anditwon,thappenagain.真的Really?没事Okay.现在不妨给你的朋友们来点吃的吧Nowshouldn'tweofferyourfriendssomethingtoeat?我去烤点小松饼Ooh!Ibakedsomemuffins.别想歪了但Pleasedon'ttakethisthewrongway,but.我们爱你Weloveyou.米基塔午饭好了让你妹妹来吃饭Mijita!1.unchisready.Gogetyoursister.卡洛斯怎么放这么多芝士Carlos,what,swithallthecheese?你知道胡安妮塔不喜欢汤菜YouknowhowJuanitafeelsaboutBrusselssprouts.我只想让蔬菜更美味mjusttryingtomakevegetablesmorefun.下次给她一根红萝卜让她坐上云霄飞车Well,nexttime,giveheracarrotandputheronarollercoaster.最近你有抱她吗-我知道她圆嘟嘟的Haveyoutriedtoliftherlately?Iknowshe,sgottenchubby.长大就没事了She'llgrowoutofit.我们只求你的遗传基因能从她的血管里流走Ha!WecanonlyhopewithyourD.N.A.Runningthroughherveins.我可没有肥胖遗传Hey,IdonothavefatD.N.A.别让我拿出索利斯家族相册Oh,don'tmakemepullouttheSolisfamilyphotoalbum.像趴在石头上的一群海狮It,slikeabunchofsealionsposingonarock.很抱歉我的亲属没达到Well,msorrymyrelativesdon'tmeasureupto你干瘦酒鬼家族的标准thegroupofstick-thindrunksthatyoucomefrom.我是说我们的女儿有肥胖问题Allmsayingisthatourdaughterhasaweightproblem,越早承认这点越好-她才4岁andthesoonerweadmitithebetter.She,sonly4.但你想恶化肥胖问题吗But,youknow,youwanthertodevelopaweightproblem?继续责备她批评她让她有自觉性Goahead.Nag,criticize,makeherfeelself-conscious.看看会怎么样Seewhathappens.很显然我没沟通好这对双胞胎AndobviouslyIamnotgettingthroughtothetwins,因为不管我怎么说他们继续玩世不恭becausenomatterwhatIsay,theykeeppullingthiscrap,我烦透了-亲爱的能不能andIamsickofit.Honey,couldyou.抱歉Sorry.所以你要我跟他们谈Yeah.Soyou.Youwantmetotalktothem?你必须去我不想每次都做坏人Youhaveto.Iamtiredofbeingthebadcop.你去谈一次好你知道的这个年龄的孩子Youwalkthebeatforawhile.Fine.Youknow,boysthisage,更听他们老爸的话they'remorelikelytolistentotheirdadsanyway.我来搞定I-Icanhandlethis.那真要谢谢你Ireallyappreciateit.宝贝我也要谢谢你如果你能Honey,youknowwhatdappreciate?Couldyou.对不起Sorry.科比屁♥股♥上除了点问题SoKirbyhasacesinthehole.Yeah.也就说周一那家伙不得不♥穿♥裙子去学校了WhichmeansthatBobbywillhavetowearadresstoschoolonMonday.真的啊Oh!Oh,my!Okay.那你一定要拍下来You'vegottogetapictureofthat!汤姆能不能出来下Tom?CanItalktoyouasec?你不认为在那的行为有些不妥吗Yeah.Don'tyouthinkyouwerekindofsendingthewrongmessageinthere?我知道你不赞成他们的做法但你得承认1knowWedon'tapproveofwhattheydid,butyou.yougottaadmit.开自己的赌场真的挺有创意Comeon.Startingtheirowncasinoiskindofcreative.就像卖♥♥假证件那样“有创意”Yeah?"Creative"likesellingfakeI.D.Swascreative.还有卖♥♥麦克卢斯基的车那可是需要技巧的Andhot-wiringMcCluskey'scar.Thatwasaworkofart.亲爰的这跟那可不一样Honey,honey,thisisnothinglikethat.整个学校都在谈论他们的纸牌游戏Imean,look,thewholeschoolistalkingabouttheircardgame.你意识到没有那会成为周一固定的聚会所Doyourealizeitwas,like,theplacetobeonaMondaynight?天哪Oh,mygod.怎么了What?你认为他们很酷Youthinkthey'recool.是啊Well.yeah.你认为他们很酷你也要成为他们的一分子No,Imeanyouthinkthey'recoolinthatyouwannabethem.拜托Oh,please.你就是这么想的眼前这位是汤姆啊前高中酷哥Youdo!ThisisTom,formerhighschoolnerd,在他那群了不起的孩子中间找到共鸣livingvicariouslythroughhisawesome-asskids.我在中学是挺酷Hey,Iwasplentycoolinhighschool.我们是在重新定义“酷”吗Areweredefining"cool"包括在乐队里吹长?♥toincludeplayingtromboneinthemarchingband?你反应过激了Hey,hey.You,reoverreacting.他们只是有点精力过剩我相信他们You'realittlehigh-spirited,butItrustthem.所以我打算同意他们去返校舞会Sovedecidedtoungroundthemforthehomecomingdance.但我告诉他们了不准去ButItoldthemtheycouldn'tgo.你让我来搞定的我刚刚就这么做了Andyoutoldmetohandleit,andIjustdid.还有那不是长号♥Oh,bytheway,itwasn'tatrombone.是大号♥Itwasatuba.记忆力下降了吧Knowyourbrass.妈妈妈妈你在哪Mom!Mom!Whereareyou?在这里亲爱的Righthere,honey!胡安妮塔Juanita!你说过我可以吃蛋糕的YousaidIcouldhavecake.我是说过但是那么多Iknow,butsomuch?你可以再去拿第二块的Youcould'vegonebackforasecondpiece.这就是第二块Thisismysecondpiece.这不是胡安妮塔的错Andit'snotJuanita,sfault.要怪就怪她父母Inthiskindofsituation,Iblametheparents.如果我允许女儿吃糖的话她会吃上一整天1.ook,mykidwouldeatsugaralldaylongifIlether.加比只是个不忍♥心拒绝孩子的妈妈Gaby'sobviouslyoneofthosemomswhojustcan'tsayno.太可惜了胡安妮塔长得还不错lt,sashame,too.Juanitahassuchaprettyface.我回来了Mm.mback.想喝什么冷饮吗Youwantsomethingcold?实际上我现在想来点热辣的Well,actually,minthemoodforsomethinghot.你知道Youknow.这就是我房♥子好几个月了还没刷好的原因Thisiswhyit'stakingfourmonthstogetmyhousepainted.听过这种说法没有Haven'tyoueverheardthatexpression,”或者你可以草草了事""或者你可以细工出慢活”"youcanhaveitdonefast,oryoucanhaveitdoneright"?我是在细工出慢活了Ithinkllhaveitdonerightnow.苏珊Hey,Susan?勒奈特这会我有点不方便Mm.Uh,1.ynette,it'snotreallyagoodtime.我只需要一小会发下汤姆的牢骚IjustneedfivesecondstobitchaboutTom,然后我就天哪andthenII.oh,mygod.你的粉刷还没好啊Yourpainterisn'tdoneyet?有时很难联♥系♥到他Uh.Yeah.He.he'shardtokeeptrackof.总之Well,anyway,汤姆不承认双胞胎快变成少年犯了Tomrefusestoacknowledgethatthetwinsareturningintojuveniledelinquents.前几天我正在真可怜抱你下Justtheotherday,Iwas.oh,youpoorthing!Youneedahug.Uh.你没喝多吧Haveyoubeendrinking?抱歉这么鲁莽过来Sorrytohavebargedin,谢谢你让我如释重负andthanksforlettingmegetthatoffmychest.什么时候需要聊天只要按下门铃Hey,anytimethatyouneedtotalk,youjustringmybell.等我开门就行了Andwait.新规则Okay,newrule.从现在开始嘿♥咻♥只在卧室里关着门进行Fromnowon,sexonlyhappensinthebedroom,doorclosed,晚上7点到10点间知道吗betweenthehoursof7:00and10:00P.M.youknowwhat?如果你告诉我规则存在的原因It'dbeahellofaloteasierformetofollowtherules我会做得容易些只是不想让我朋友知道ifIknewwhytheyexisted.Ijustdon'twantmyfriendstoknow.为什么我丢你脸r吗Why?You.youashamedofme?当然不是No,ofcoursenot.只是有点复杂It,plicated.我只是简单一个人不想成为你的小秘密mjustasimpleguy,soIcan,tbeyourdirtylittlesecret.我需要更多Ineedmorefromyou.抱歉我不能给你msorry.Ican'tgivethattoyou.宝贝我知道你想回家看动画片Honey,Iknowyouwannagohomeandwatchyourcartoons,但你吃了那么多蛋糕butyouhadalotofcake,我想带你去公园转转soIwasthinkingdtakeyoutothepark.你可以到处跑跑做些简单有趣的锻炼Thatway,youcouldrunaroundandgetsomenice,funexercise.不去No.真的不去吗Yousure?太阳下到处跑跑呼吸新鲜空气Runningaroundinthesunandfreshair感觉不错的wouldmakeyoufeelgood.嗯不去Mm.no.好吧Okay.把它扔到垃圾桶里Whydon'tyougothrowthatinthetrash?我去取