Clarkson's Farm《克拉克森的农场（2021）》第三季第一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

JInthewhiteroomJJWithblackcurtainsJ4JNearthestationJJBlackroofcountry/JNogoldpavementsJJTiredstarlingsJ*JSilverhorsesrandownmoonbeamsJ克拉克森的农场JInyourdarkeyesJ第三季欢迎回到克拉克森的农场WelcomebacktoClarkson'sFarm.现在是2022年8月中旬It'sthemiddleofAugustin2022.不客气谢谢你是哪里人？You'rewelcome.Thanks.Wherehaveyoucomefrom?一切似乎都很熟悉Andeverythingseemstobefamiliar.干了It,sdry.洋溢着田园风光Andbucolic.而且精彩绝伦andwonderful.但恐怕幕后的情况一点都不美妙因为Butmafraidthatbehindthescenes,itisn'twonderfulatall,because.所有可能出问题的地方都出了问题everythingthatcouldgowronghasgonewrong.克拉克森的农场第17集非耕地我们从天气开始说起1.et'sstartwiththeweather.在经历了87年来最干旱的夏季之后Afterthedriestsummerfor87years,地面干裂像混凝土一样坚硬thegroundisparchedandashardasconcrete.因此庄稼遭受重创Andasaresult,thecropsaretakingabattering.所以我们试着在干旱的土地里种土豆Sotryingtogrowpotatoeswherethere,snomoisture.是成熟期的土豆它不会再长了1.ook,theskin'sset.Soit,snotgonnagrowanymore.“成熟期”是什么意思？Whatdoyoumean?新长出来的土豆如果你这么摸土豆的皮会把皮擦掉Youknow,newpotatoes,ifyoudidthatyou'drubtheskinoff.-就像泽西皇家土豆一样?是啊是的-1.ikeaJerseyRoyal?-1.ikeaJerseyRoyal.但现在它的皮牢牢地粘附着以阻止其水分流失Butthesehavenowsettheirskintostopthemlosingmoisture.所以它就只能长这么大了？-Sothat'sasbigasit'sgonnaget?-Yeah.是的该死！Shit.卡莱布试着采收这些鹅卵石大小的土豆Kalebhadagoatharvestingthesepotatopebbles,但非常失败butitwashopeless.不行土豆全都掉了你看No,mjustdroppingthemall,look.土豆太小了会从滚轮之间掉下去Thepotatoesarethatsmall,they'refallingbetweentherollers.它们就掉到了地面上It,sjustdroppingthemonthetop.在旁边的田地里向日葵也出了问题Inthenextfieldalong,thesunflowersweresufferingtoo.已经到八月底了1.ook.It'scomingtotheendofAugust.这些向日葵必须成熟这样我们才能及时采摘Theseflowershavegottamature,ripen,intimeforustoharvestthem.这葵花籽已经熟了吗？-Well,isthisseedready?-No.-没完全没用我们没法采摘这些向日葵？-That,suseless.-Wewon,tbeabletoharvestthese?白种了不行It'spointless.No.真糟心Forfick,ssake.接下来蓝蓟一种植物性鱼油Next,therewastheechium,asortofplant-basedfishoil有人跟我说如果它长得好我就能大赚一笔whichdbeentoldwouldnetmeafortuneifitgrewwell.就这？Isthatit?不多啊对吧？Notalot,isthere?那是.“那That'sjustthe.That,s.一块斯佩耳特小麦田的产量是那么多Onefieldofspeltwheatproducedthatmuch.一块蓝蓟田的产量就这么点Onefieldofechiumhasproduced.that.妈的Bloodyhell.土壤干燥还意味着Thedrynessofthesoilalsomeant明年收获的油菜籽也没法种了thatplantingnextyear'soilseedrapewasanon-starter.但你看!天啊那是1.ook.OhGod,that's.前几天我挖到地下30公分的地方什么都没有Iwentdownafoottheotherday.There'snothing.所以如果我们把油菜条播进去它没法生长Soifwetryanddrillrapeintothat,it,snotgonnagrow.除了这些问题还有在夏季初开业的Ontopofallthis,therewastheprettylittlerestaurant,售卖♥♥我们在农场里种植的作物whichwe'dopenedearlierinthesummer和驯养的动物的漂亮小餐厅tosellthefoodwe'dgrownandrearedonthefarm.-干杯各位-干杯各位-Cheers,guys.-Cheers.但仅仅在六周后Butafterjustsixweeks.关门通知议会给我们送来了一份强制执行通知书Thecouncilserveduswithanenforcementnotice,让我们必须关闭餐厅tellingusithadtoclose.欢迎各位你们好吗？Welcome,everybody.Howareyou?这种硬质小麦让我特别自豪因为这种作物通常生长在意大利mparticularlyproudofthedurumwheat,causeitnormallygrowsinItaly.-大家看起来都很饱了-还要牛胸肉吗？Everyonelooksveryfull.-Morebrisket?谢谢大家过来Thankyouforcoming.强制执行通知Enforcementnotice.“在此通知生效之日起的六周内"Whatyouarerequiredtodowithinsixweeksofthedate“你需要做到以下事项onwhichthisnoticecomesintoeffect"“停止在该土地的任何地方向公众出♥售♥或提供食物或饮品"Ceaseuseofanypartofthelandforsaleorprovisionoffoodordrinkstomembersofthepublic“或让公众在该土地上消费orforconsumptionontheland.“停止将该土地的任何地方Ceaseuseofanypartofthelandasarestaurantoracafe."“用作餐厅或咖啡厅”即使我们有权这么做Eventhoughwe,reallowedto.“停止将该土地的任何地方用作停车场”"Ceaseuseofanypartofthelandforparking."什么？What?“将餐厅周围的土地恢复到"Reinstatethelandroundtherestauranttoaconditionsimilartothatoftheagriculturallandimmediatelysurroundingit,“与其周围的农业用地相似的状态“清除所有地基碎石和其他表面材料removingallhardcoreandothersurfacingmaterials,“包括砂砾和碎石”includinggravelandstonechippings.11为什么农场不能有砂砾啊？我不理解Whyyoucan'thavegravelonafarm,1don'tknow.Butanyway.但无论如何“移除所有其他景观材料"Removingallotherlandscapingmaterials,includingwoodensleepers,“包括木枕、木板边条和木屑.”woodenplankedgingandwoodchippings."-木屑会腐烂的-Thewoodchip,sjustgonnarot.-1know.他们彻底疯了They'vegonecompletelymad.“移除所有植物和植物容器”"Removingallplantsandplantingcontainers."-农场不能放植物盆太荒唐了Youcan'thaveplantpotsonafarm?-Ridiculous.我们一直在原地打转浪费了一大笔钱We'regoingroundandroundincircles,wastingalotoffuckinggoodmoney.浪费的是你的钱-Yourmoney.Permanently.-Yes,andthetaxpayers'.还有他们的钱以及纳税人的钱.每个人都投了钱进来Well,everybody'smoneyisjustbeing-然后被白白浪费这就是个笑话Pissingitupagainstthewall.It,sajoke.Alltheeffortweputinandwe'rebackonsquareone.我们的一切努力都是徒劳的餐厅关门后我们再也没钱养这些奶牛了Withtherestaurantshutdown,wecouldnolongeraffordtokeepallthecows.我们可以留着小牛把它们养肥Wecouldhangontothecalvestofattenthemup但它们的妈妈必须离开buttheirmums.wouldhavetogo.我们之前买♥♥了19头生了8头牛犊所以总共是27头Webought19.Theyhad8,sothat's27.杀了两头还剩25头Killed2f25.-没错-我们留-Correct.-We'rekeeping.12头Twelve.所以要送走13头So13aregoing.我这里有13张凭证ThirteenpassportsIhavehere.把它们赶上车Droppingoff.我觉得今天真的很难过mfindingtodayreallyquitesad.因为去年我早上打开窗It's,causeforthelastyear,vebeenopeningthewindows,拉开窗帘就能看到奶牛我很喜欢那种场景openingthecurtainsinthemorning,andtherearethecows.AndIlovethat.它们眸吟叫Makingcownoises.每天早上看到它们都让我很开心Itjustcheersmyhearteverymorningtoseethem.小牛今晚会不会伤心？Arethecalvesgoingtobeabitupsettonight?会你今晚别想睡觉了-You'renotgonnasleeptonight.-No.它们会不睡吗？不Theywon't?-No.是你会睡不着它们会叫一整晚No,youwon'tsleep.They'llbecallingallnightlong.我能问一下吗?显然胡椒也得离开-CanIask?Peppa,sgoing,obviously.-Yeah.是的你觉得它会怎样呢？Whatdoyouthinkwillbecomeofher?如果我是你我不会问胡椒的去向Iwouldn'tasktoomanyquestionsaboutPepper.不要问你不想知道答案的问题Don'taskquestionsyoudon'twanttoknowtheanswerto.Oh,Christ天啊我们只留下了一些感人的手♥机♥视频回忆Allwehadleftofthedepartedwassometouchingphone-cameramemories.丽莎手♥机♥视频Oh,look!不可以！No!No!No!No!出来!你们俩!快离开那儿！Outofthere.No,youtoo.Out.Out!No,notmyflowers!不行别踩我的花!出去！Getout!继续走嘘!嘘！Goon,shoo.Shoo.你也是嘘！Youtoo,shoo.Shoo.杰里米！Jeremy?要喝杯茶吗？-好啊-Cupoftea?-Yeah.好的Okay.-我们又不是一头没留-就是我们留了不少It'snotlikewe'renotkeepingafew.-No,we'vegotquiteafew.-Yeah.是的把我们接生的都留下了Itcouldbealltheoneswegavebirthto.随着一半的牛群的离去Withmorethanhalftheherdgone,我那个利用奶牛和鸡给土壤施肥的环保计划myeco-friendlyplantogetthecowsandhensworkingintandem也流产rtofertilisethesoilwasintatters.土壤你看查理Soil,look,Charlie.土壤很不错-是啊新土壤-Allgoodforthesoil.-Newsoil.是的但多亏了西牛津郡议会Yeah,butthankstoWestOxfordshireDistrictCouncil,wehavetousechemicalsfromnowon.-我们现在必须用化肥-是啊用氮肥-We'vegotnitrogen.-1know.我知道正如开心的杳理后来解释的那样And,asCheerfulCharliethenexplained,今年化肥价格高不适合购买♥♥thiswasnottheyeartobebuyingchemicalfertiliser.对于2023年的预期收成我们必须现实点We'vegottaberealisticabouttheprojectionsforharvest,23.-这是小麦的价格-好的-Thisisthewheatprice.-Yeah.所以你可以通过蓝线看到其峰值每吨♥超过350英镑Andifyoulookattheblueline,whereitpeakedatover350poundsaton.价格在下降？在下降Isitfalling?-It'sfalling.-战争这是怎么回事？-现在还在打仗How'sthathappening?-Thewar,sstillgoingon.-现在已经降到200了-现在才不到250英镑-It,snowdownto200.-It'snowjustunder250.所以每吨♥跌了100英镑Soit'sdroppedahundredpoundsaton.然后化肥价格上涨Youknowwe,vegotfertiliserpricesthathavegoneup?我们买♥♥化肥花了多少钱?Howmuchdidwepayforthefertiliser?一吨♥800多英镑Justover800poundsaton.是平时价格的三倍Threetimesmorethannormal.三倍所以总价增加了三倍Threetimes.Sothat'sgoneupbythreetimes.小麦价格也随之Andwheatpricehascome.Ohfuck.所以去年我们的生产成本很低Solastyear,wehadlowgrowingcosts.今年如果我们购买♥♥等量的化肥Thisyear,ifwebuythesameamountoffertiliser,那光买♥♥化肥就要花十万英镑it'llbe100,000poundsyouneedtospendonfertiliseralone.太可怕了-It,sterrible.-Its.如果收成不好情况可能会很糟Itcouldbebadiftheyieldsarepoor.而且还要考虑干燥谷物时的油价、燃料价格、电费等Andalsotakegasprice,fuelprice.Energyintermsofdryingthegrain.Everywayyouturn.每一步都困难重重农业会受能源价格影响Farming'sexposedtoenergyprice.没错Yeah.对于查理的悲观预测我束手无策NotknowingwhattodoaboutCharlie'sgrimforecast,然后我出发去见我们的乌克兰养蜂人维克托IwentofftoseeViktor,ourUkrainianbeeman.-你好啊维克托-你好杰里米Allright,Viktor?Hello,Jeremy.他正在装蜂箱这样我们就可以提取最新一批蜂蜜了.whowasloadingupthehivessowecouldextractthelatestbatchofhoney.这里有很多死蜜蜂Alotofdeadbeesinhere.很不幸对吧?就像顿巴斯战役一样Ah,well,unfortunate,isn,tit?-IfslikebattleofDonbas.-这里有多少蜂蜜？Howmanypoundsofhoneyinthere?一箱大概有10千克所以Iwouldsayroughlyboxtenkilos.-10千克？-是的一箱这么多总共约100吨♥Tenkilos?-Abox.Abouta100pounds.那都是蜂蜜是的-Thatis.Oh!Thatisallhoney!-Yeah.你可以看到两侧的凸起你可以Youcanseethebulgingoneithersideifyou.-是的-里面都填满了蜂蜜-Yeah.-Thatisjustrammedfullofhoney.-好家伙我们有很多蜂蜜-是啊We'vegotalotofhoney!-Yeah.这是农场里唯一成功的一环It'stheonlythingonthefarmthat'sworking.真的是唯一赚钱的项目1.iterallytheonlythingthatmakesmoney.跟维克托聊过以后我有了一个想法AftermyViktorchat,Ihadathought.迪丽斯库阿特农场以种植庄稼为主DiddlySquatismainlyanarablefarm,但除了庄稼之外一定还有别的赚钱方式buttheremustbeotherwaysofmakingmoneybesidethecrops.所以我一边仔细思考一边和永远听话的狗狗一起散步So,Iputmythinkingcaponandwentforawalk,withtheever-obedientdogs.跟上唉！Heel.Oi!珊莎、艾莉亚跟着Sansa!Arya!Heel.艾莉亚跟着Arya!Heel.Oh,shit.糟了珊莎、艾莉亚！Sansa!Arya!-珊莎、艾莉亚！Sansa!Arya!Arya!Sansa!艾莉亚、珊莎！现在可能要稍等一下它们需要时间Theremaybeasmallwaitnowwhiletheygetback,确定自己抓不住那头鹿havingdeterminedtheycan'tcatchthedeer.大家不必担心小鹿斑比很安全Bambtincaseyou'reworried,iscompletelysafe.这就是我所说的充足的树篱ThisiswhatIcalltheHedgeofPlenty.它里面长了很多东西大概有800米长It'sgotsomuchstuffgrowinginit.Itrunsforhalfamileorso.如你所见大约九米厚It,sabout30feetthick,asyoucanseehere.满是浆果Fullofberries.黑莓Blackberries.这些是野莓、黑刺李Thesearesloeberries.Sloes.接骨木花Elderflower.所以有接骨木花、黑剌李Sothat,selderflower,sloe,玫瑰果、黑寿、苹果、欧洲李、李子rosehips,blackberries,apples,damsons,plums.在我拿着我的思考专用“果汁”小坐片刻后Afteralittlesit-downwithmyspecialthinkingjuice,我开始制定计划Istartedtoformaplan.我刚刚一直在想I'vejustbeenthinking.Thisfarmisa1,000acres,这座农场占地404公顷但我只种了大约200公顷butIonlyfarm.about500acres.另外200公顷是树林还有野花草地等等Theother500are.woodsandwildflowermeadowsandjuststuff.但我没种庄稼的这200公顷土地上满是浆果.Butthe500acresIdon'tfarmarefullofberriesand.还有苹果、豆瓣菜、野蒜和鹿andapplesandwatercressandwildgarlicanddeer.所以我想知道是否可以耕种.SoIwonderifyoucouldfarm.非耕地我想知道我是否能利用theunfarmed?IwonderifIcouldmakemoney.没有种庄稼的这部分农场赚钱outofthebitofthefarmmnotfarming?议会不能阻止这种做法对吧？Councilcouldn,tstopthat,couldthey?他们可以尝试但无能为力Imean,theycouldtrybuttheywouldn'tbeableto.在我看来这是一个好主意Inmyhead,thiswasagoodidea.但要利用树林、草地和树篱赚钱Butmakingmoneyfromthewoodsandthemeadowsandthehedges需要做大量的工作wouldrequirealotofwork.所以我和我的二把手开了个会SoIcalledameetingwithmynumbertwo.我有件严肃的事要对你说vegotsomethingserioustosaytoyou.我做了一个重大决定vemadeabigdecision.你不再是这个农场的拖拉机司机了Youarenolongerthetractordriveronthisfarm.那我是什么？WhatamIthen?我决定让你担任农场经理vedecidedmgonnamakeyoufarmmanager.-真的吗？-真的Really?-Yep.我想让你来负责经营农场方面的工作Iwantyoutorunthefarmingsideofit.你被解雇了You'refired.什么？-What?-You,refired.你被解雇了你不能解雇我我是老板！-No,youcan,tfire.mtheboss!-mthefarmmanager.我是农场经理你被解雇了-You'refired.-mnotfired.-我没被解雇-你被解雇了Youare.不行因为你还不知道具体要怎么操作mnot,becauseyouhaven'theardhowthisisgonnawork.那你先告诉我然后再被解雇Tellmethat,thenyou'refired.我希望这么操作Here'showIwantittowork.今年我必须集中精力I'vegottoconcentratethisyearonmakingmoney利用未种植作物的那部分农场赚钱outofthatbitofthefarmwhichisn'tfarmed.-好的-你从没去过那里Yes?-You'veneverevenbeenhere.没有No.那就意味着我没时间Andthenthatmeansmnotgonnahavethetime集中精力管理农场的这部分区域toreallyconcentrateonthisbitofthefarm.耕地部分是的Onthearable.Yeah.所以我要让你来负责耕地部分So,mgonnaputyouonthearable.而我集中精力开♥发♥这部分Andmgonnaconcentrateonthis.我突然想到了一个主意-Andvejusthadathought.-Mm-hmm?不如我们比一场吧Whydon'twemakeitacompetition?在接下来的12个月里赚钱最多的人获胜Whointhenext12monthscanmakethemostmoney:是管理未耕地的我还是管理耕地的你？meoutofunfarmedland-oryououtoffarmedland?-Farmedland.Ilikeit.耕地好主意那我们要弄一块白板放在墙上Sowe'llgetawhiteboard,we'llputitonthewall,然后写上杰里米的利润和成本卡莱布的利润和成本andthenit'sJeremy'sprofitandcosts,-Kaleb,sprofitandcosts.-Yeah.好的可以吗?然后要记录全年的数据Okay?Andthenit'llrunthroughtheyear.Hmm?我觉得那会很有趣Ithinkthat'llbequitegoodfun.我也觉得反正我能赢所以没关系Ithinkit'llbefunaswell.AndI'mgonnawin,soit'sfine.你赢不了的Youaren'tgonnawin.我会赢得这场比赛的mgonnawinthiscompetition.好吧好的RightGetoutandgetbackonyourtractorandgomanagethefarm.出去吧回到你的拖拉机上去管理农场吧我现在不用开拖拉机了我要愉快地散步Idon'tneedtonow.mgonnagohaveanicewalkround,“风”析土壤anal-"analasyse"thesoil.“风”析？"Analasyse"?"Hmm.That'saword,innit?"Analasyse"!有这个词对吧?“风”析，风”析就是这词-不对-No!-"Analasyse"!Itis!Analyse.-是，）♥析♥-分♥析♥-Analyse.-为了启动我的未耕地开&hearts泼♥项目Togetmy"FarmingtheUnfarmed"projectofftheground,我进行了一些调查1didsomeresearch.我发现当地的超♥市♥卖♥♥的黑莓每个6便士Anddiscoveredthatmylocalsupermarketwascharging6pablackberry.这意味着我的树篱墙简直是水果金矿Whichmeantmyhedgerowswerefruitygoldmines.看啊!6便士12、24.1.ook.6p,12,24.这儿有50便士又是50便士那儿也有还有那儿There's50pthere.Another50pthere,andthere,andthere.那儿是一磅光是这个灌木丛就能赚30英镑轻轻松松Apoundthere.There's30quidinthisonebushalone,easy.但为了让利润最大化Inordertomaximiseprofits,though,我需要尽可能便宜地采摘黑莓dneedtoharvestthemascheaplyaspossible.因此相当巧妙地我问了下能否借一台黑莓采摘机SorathercraftilyIaskedifIcouldborrowablackberry-pickingmachine看我到底喜不喜欢这机器toseeifIlikedit.见鬼这比我预期的大了一些伙计Shit.It,sabitbiggerthanIwasexpecting,mate!对只大了一点Justabitbigger!你好吗？-好我很好谢谢-Howareyou?Erm.-mwell,thankyou.我们有运粮车我去让他倒个车-We,vegotthegrainwagon.-Yes?lljustbackhimup.Ifyoucouldpullovertotheright,isthatallright?你能不能把车靠到右边可以吗？打扰一下伙计？Sorry,mate?Doyoumindbackingup?介意倒下车吗？这样那辆货车就能过去了Sothatthatwagoncangetthroughandgooverthere?Isthatallright?可以吗?谢r伙计Cheers,mate.Thanks.我现在成了停车场管♥理♥员♥了macar-parkattendant,that'swhatvebecomenow.你在干什么？Whatareyoudoing?我在给卡车装货mloadingthelorry.好吧可它挡路了Yeah,well,itwasintheway.-你的农场经营妨碍了我的农场经营-这Yourfarmingisinthewayofmyfarming.你的农场经营妨碍了我的农场经营No,yourfarming'sgettinginthewayofmyfarming.并没有!我只是需要把这车开进去Itisn't.1justneedtogetthisin.-看那个-什么1.ookatthat!-你甚至都不知道那是什么对吧？-不知道你在干什么？Youdon'tevenknowwhatitis,doyou?-No.Whatareyoudoing?采摘黑莓Blackberrypicking.不如等你装完车来看看真正的农场经营吧1.oadthewagonupandthencomeandseerealfarminghappening.真E的农场经营个鬼"Real"farmingmyarse.好了开始我的黑莓采摘计划吧Right1.etmyblackberryfanningbegin.好吧我意识到的第一件事是我的拖车车宽将近两米三Okay,thefirstthingverealisedisthatmytraileris25yardswide.如果遇到对向行驶的公交车那公交车司机会带着一台IfImeetabuscomingtheotherway,thebusdriverisgoingtobegoinghome像胡子-样绑在脸上的黑莓采摘机回家withablackberry-pickingmachinefastenedtohisfacelikeamoustache.你们可能看到了Asyoucanprobablysee,黑莓采摘机就像一个拱门theblackberry-pickingmachineislikeanarch.所以我会先试着采摘那些树篱里的黑莓Somgonnatryandharvestthathedgetostartwith.首先我要让我的黑莓采摘机Sovegottagetmyblackberry-pickingmachine跨过这堵墙tostraddlethiswallfirstofall.这不可避免地说起来容易做起来难This,inevitably,waseasiersaidthandone.来加油Comeon,comeon,comeon,comeon,comeon.不见鬼No,no,no.Shit!我到底该怎么做？HowonearthamIgoingtodothis?Ah.没对准No.Erm.这根本不可能做到对吧？Well,it'sjustnotpossible,isit?这样不行我不得不向我的商业竞争对手求助Therewasnothingforit.Ihadtoaskmybusinessrivalforhelp.好吧你看到那个了吗？Right,youseethat?-Yeah.-嗯-这是拱形的-It'sanarch.-Yeah.是的我们必须让这个拱形包住这堵墙Andyouhavetogetthatarchtostraddlethiswall