TheSimpsons《辛普森一家》第三十五季第五集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
辛普森一家恐怖树屋特辑第三十四期春田艺术博物馆空屋展览被迫归还给其他国家的艺术品春田镇的艺术爰好者们好消息ArtloversOfSpringfield,goodnews.艺术博物馆永久闭馆啦Theartmuseumisclosedforever!而我们的全部收藏将被数字化处理Instead,ourentirecollectionwillbedigitized拿到区块链去卖♥♥一大笔andsoldforafortuneontheblockchain又称作非同质化代币也就是NFTasnon-fungibletokens,orNFTs.我也不懂啥意思Whateverthehellthoseare.现在来把我们的烂画Nowlet'sturnsomeofourcrappyart简易艺术数字化转化器变成电脑货币吧intocomputermoney.川一件真IE的杰作开场吧我的屁♥股♥Startingwithatruemasterpiece,mybutt.数字化中警告艺术品将被摧毁爸Uh,Dad?这科技Ah!Technology!NFT已生产我永远失去了巴仔I'velostBartforever!不No!价值好Yes!野性巴仔不会变成令牌宝贝记得我们总是说Honey?Rememberhowwe,realwayssaying希望巴仔可以更独一无二一点吗WewishBartwaslessfungible?巴仔出什么事了吗DidsomethinghappentoBart?你能拥抱的部分都不在了Onlythepartsyoucanhug.其他地方还在在我手♥机♥里Therestisalive,righthereonmyphone.我的宝贝变成程序了Mybabyisanapp!也不是至少程序还有点用Uh,no,appsactuallydostuff.他变成了NFTHe,sanNFT.但看他价值多高啊Butlookhowmuchhe,sworth.巴仔值这么多ForBart?Hmm.想想丽莎得值多少Imaginewhatwe,dgetforLisa.他是首个被NFT化的真人HeisthefirstNFTofanactualperson.我不在乎Idon'tcare.我们必须得想办法把他弄回来We'vegottofindawaytogethimback.想要如此你必须亲自进去区块链Todothat,you,yourselfmustentertheblockchain.来者何人Whoareyou?我们是开明的智者Wearetheenlightenedintellects我们捍卫加密宇宙的安全whosafeguardthecrypto-verse.凯莉詹娜罗伯格隆科夫斯基KylieJenner,RobGronkowski,还有吉米肥伦andJimmyFallon.一直以为你们只是忽悠大家玩NFT的名人Ithoughtyouwerejustcelebrityshills.如果我们不理解分布式账本Ugh,wewouldneverpromoteatechnology是一种支撑技术的话我们是不会ifwedidn'tunderstandthedistributedledger轻易推广它的underpinningit.我停不下来兄弟Ican'tstoplaughing,buddy.闭嘴吧Shutup.笑得比哭得还难听Youruined"Cowbell."这个钥匙是一个Thiskeyisabackdoor区块链的加密协议的后门throughtheblockchain'scryptographicprotocol.等你进去了找到巴仔Onceyou'reinside,findBart用这个带你俩出来anduseittogetbothofyouout.这就是区块链啊Huh,sothisistheblockchain.不是的菜鸟这是区块车No,noob,thisistheblock-train.在由加密货币兄弟创建的Speedingforeverthroughthelovelessicyworld无情无义的冰雪世界无限驰骋createdbycrypto-bros.以宇宙中最富裕的燃料驱动Poweredbythemostabundantfuelintheuniverse:错恐症错失恐惧症FOMO,theFearOfMissingOut.作为一种抽象的数学概念的电子化身Foradigitalincarnationofanabstractmathematicalconcept,真的该好好擦擦灰itcoulduseagooddusting.这不是这趟火车的最后一节车厢么Well,that'sbecausethisisthelastcarofthetrain,innit?毕业舞会混声磁带无价值的NFT的居住地ThedwellingplaceofNFTswithnovalue.市面上99%的NFT都是如此Whichis99%ofallNFTsevercreated.看来作为第二个人类化身的NFTHuh,Iguessbeingthesecond-everhumanNFT价值并没有多少isn,tworthawholelot.他们把我儿子关在哪里Wheredotheykeepmyson?在火车最前头Attheveryfrontofthetrain你永远去不了whereyoucannevergo.看好了Watchme!你杀死了无聊蛋116Youkilledennuioeuf116.恭喜呀你提升了一个车舱Congratulations,you,vemovedupthetrain因为你现在跟我们一样有价值becauseyouarenowasvaluableasus,温柔猫咪thecuddlekittens.因为你杀了另一个NFTBecauseyoukilledanotherNFT.你所谓的无心杀戮Whatyoucallmindlessslaughter,加密货Fp兄弟称之为"分♥裂♥"crypto-broscall"Disruption,"然后往里面打钱andthenpourcashintoit.所以为了营救巴仔So,torescueBart,我得杀掉一大帮你们这样的家伙Ineedtokillabunchofyouguys.看来我得这么干了Well,IguessIgottodothis.抱歉不是针对你Sorry!Nothingpersonal!但愿你感觉不到痛苦Hope.you.can't.feel.pain.妈妈的价值冲破天际Mom,spriceisskyrocketing!看错恐症1.ookattheFOMOI现在所有人都想要人类NFTNoweveryone'sgonnawanthumanNFTs.老爸你说你会带我去碰碰船的Dad,yousaidyouweretakingmetobumperboats.正往那边走呢再来点巧克力奶Iam.Uh,havesomemorechocolatemilk.不准有人再把另一个小孩塞进扫描仪Nooneisputtinganotherchildintothatscanner.在我之前beforemine.拜托杀掉拉尔浩斯PleasekillRalph-house.火车最前头我成功了Thefrontofthetrain.Imadeit.巴仔我们离开这里Bart!We,regettingoutofhere!慢点妈妈急啥子Whoa,Mom,what'stherush?给你自己找一只糊掰太监放松一下Grabyourselfajadedapeandtakealoadoff.你从来不喜欢我的朋友们Youneverlikemyfriends.妈妈马上就要把巴仔救出来了Mom'salmostgotBartout.不要让你儿子再次变成废柴人类Don'tletyoursonbecomeaworthlesshumanagain.把他卖♥♥给我Senhimtome实现你小目标一个亿for$100million.不行老爸如果你把巴仔卖♥♥给伯恩斯先生No,Dad!IfyousellBarttoMr.Burns,他就永远被困在区块链上了he'llbetrappedontheblockchainforever.但这是我不掉队的机会Butthisismychancenottomissout,就在我样样事情都掉队之后aftervemissedoutoneverything.房♥地&hearts产♥泡沫第一次科技泡沫Thehousingbubble,thefirsttechbubble,第二次科技泡沫现在的科技泡沫thesecondtechbubble,thecurrenttechbubble.就这一次我想成为那个Justonetime,1wanttobetheguy把所有钱都给伯纳马多夫的人thatgivesallhismoneytoBernieMadoff!妈呀赶紧撤老爹要撑不住了Mom,getoutofthere!Dad'sgonnacrack!卖♥♥出出口开启出口后门已卖♥♥出他按下去了Hedidit.不敢相信他真按了Ican'tbelievehedidit.我们回来了侯默呢Wemadeit-Where'sHomer?我想告诉他他手♥机♥里的味Iwanttotellhimtheinsideofhisphonesmells.他把自己卖♥♥了He-hesoldhimself.他太担心会错失机会Hewassoafraidofmissingout,就献身了自己hetokenedhisownlife.在超级时髦的火车上永生Eternityonasuperswankytrain.麻辣鸡Ooh,twerkedchicken.怎么了Whathappened?错失恐惧症列车生命已经走到尽头OurFOMO,it,sgone.NFT的狂热结束了TheNFTcrazeisover.真是-场浪漫的火车旅行Ah,theromanceoftraintravel.1993年10月7日星期四*这显然是他的功劳*Andit'sclearlytohiscredit*因为他是英国人*ThatheisanEnglishman*他仍然是* Heremains* AnEng*英国人*Lish.*等等你让我唱歌♥是不是为了Wait.Didyouonlyaskmetosing阻止你那可怕的结局toforestallyourgruesomeend?罪名成立Guiltyascharged.春田大学不讲拉丁语三十年后犯罪心理学201连环杀手的阴暗面我能在西区Itwasonlybyfollowingmyhunch找到东区勒杀狂thatwefoundtheEastSidestrangler全凭直觉onthewestsideoftown.能说说你是怎么摆脱童年阴影Canyouexplainhowyouovercamechildhoodtrauma继而成为全国最著名的犯罪心理学家的吗tobecomethenation'smostrenownedcriminalpsychologist?想了解相关内容就得看我的书了Forthatstory,you'llhavetoreadmybook.心灵猎人的思维孟茨警官OfficeMuntz.跟你说过我们会再会的Toldyoudsmellyoulater.好久不见Beenalongtime.瞧瞧我们Ah,lookatus.还以为自己永远长不大呢Wethoughtweweregonnastayyoungforever.有人确实留在了过去Someofusdid.好吧比如巴仔因为他被杀了Oh,right,likeBart,becausehegotmurdered.说到可怕的事Speakingofgruesomejunk,有个案子可能需要你帮忙wecoulduseyourhelponacase.很荣幸但我是真实犯罪科科长mflattered,butmtheDeanofthetruecrimedepartment.我不能放下手头事去Ican'tjustrunoffand.杀手留下一条信息Thekillerleftamessage.我们认为是给你留的Andwethinkit'sforyou.你好啊丽莎八号♥房♥间罗德是第一个也许罗德傅兰德确实长成一个MaybeRodFlandersdidgrowuptobecome满嘴脏话的道具喜剧演员ashockinglyfoul-mouthedpropcomedian,但他不该是这样的下场buthedidn'tdeservethis.只有你这种受过超级精神创伤的分&hearts淅♥师Onlyasuper-traumatizedprofilerlikeyou才能拼凑出这里的真♥相♥canpiecetogetherwhathappenedhere.凶手不慌不忙Ourkillertookhistime.玩了圈叉棋Hadfunwithit.大玩特玩单人纸牌Enjoyedagameofsolitaire.红后接红王Redkingonaredqueen?看来这个疯子不喜欢按规矩出牌Thispsychodoesn'tplaybytherules.哇靠她真有一套Damn,she,sgood.他走到这里时突然意识到过Here,hehadoneofthosemoments不知道自己进这个房♥间本来是要干什么whereyouwalkintoaroomandforgetwhatyoucameinfor.我们怎么就没发现呢Howdidmyguysmissthat?还有一件事Onemorething.这个杀手一时半会儿不会罢休Thiskillerwon'tstopnow.还会有其他受害者Therewillbeothers.长官又发生了一起命案Sarge,there,sbeenanother.蒙田亲王是第一个他怎么会同时是第一个Howcanhealsobethefirst?长官又一起Sarge,wegotanotherone.德莫特碑f帕科勒是第一个这场面不是每天都.Boy,that,ssomethingyoudon'tseeevery.又一起长官Onemore,sarge.又有一起长官Gotanotherone,sarge.雪莉是第一个断手连着冰箱把手Theseveredhandopensthefridge,把手拉着死者肌肉whichtugsonthatstripofsinew,肌肉转倒了装着眼球的杯子turningovertheeyeballcup,眼球从脊柱上滚下来吓到了猫猫whichrollsdownthespine,startlesacat,最后掉入跷板上黄油碟的一边whichleapsontothebutterdishseesaw,弹起另一边的眼球andsendstheothereyeballflying,眼球撞开了咖啡机turningonthecoffeemaker.连我都没法理解这个疯子了EvenIcan'tgetinsideamindthisderanged.只有一个人能理解There'sonlyonepersonwhocan.春田最高戒备监狱密室逃脱特色团建场地招租丽莎辛普森小朋友1.ittleLisaSimpson.自从我把你弟弟打成肉酱之后Youreallymadesomethingofyourself你获得了不错的成就嘛afterImademincemeatofyourbrother.是来谢我的吗Cometothankme?不是-没礼貌No.-Rude.我没时间跟你玩游戏鲍勃Idon'thavetimeforyourgames,Bob.我手头有一个.mworkingona.是啊一个让你不得不求助于我的Yes,acasesoconfounding复杂的案子you'reactuallywillingtoseekmyhelp.鲁比戈德堡雪莉这一张真精彩TheRubeGoldbergSherriisactuallyquiteimpressive.小提示杀手是个精神病Hattip,psychopath.现场那些格式一致的信息怎么解释Whatabouttheidenticalmessages?死者怎么可能同时都是“第一个"Howcantheyallbe"Thefirst"?认真的吗辛普森教授Really,professorSimpson,难不成要我把正确答案都喂给你吗amImeanttospoon-feedyoualltheanswers?不如猜段谜语或者字谜Speakinriddlesordropaclueinacleveranagram线索就藏在我刚说过的话里hiddeninsomethingvejustsaidrightnow.这是在浪费时间Thisisawasteoftime.一首打油诗也可以呀Perhapsalimerickwillhelp.曾经有一把闪亮的弯刀Thereoncewasashinymachete,把可怜巴仔的脑袋削成了意大利面thatturnedpoorBart'sheadtospaghetti.你会死在牢房♥里的鲍勃You'regonnadieinthatcell,Bob.到那个时候Andwhenthathappens,无论我在哪里whereverIam,我会兴奋地手舞足蹈llbedancing.巴仔辛普森被残忍♥杀害马姬辛普森死于悲痛侯默辛普森被网球噎死雪莉麦克贝利爱妻怪姐姐你能想到谁会想伤害雪莉吗Canyouthinkofanyonewhowould'vewantedtohurtSherri?不没人讨厌我姐姐No,everybodylovedmybigsister.姐姐你们是双胞胎啊Bigsister?Youguysweretwins.但她先出生Yes,butSherriwasbornfirst那现在你是不是就是我老公了Probablymakessenseforyoutobemyhusbandnow,huh?雪莉先出生Sherriisthefirst.罗德傅兰德德莫特斯帕科勒都先出生RodFlanders,DermottSpuckler,allfirstborns,这是共性that,sthepattern.鲍勃还说了点什么变位词AndBobsaidsomethingaboutananagram肯定指向藏匿点takingustothekiller,slair.就是这个That'sit变位词的诡异被弃屠♥杀♥场要隐晦找变位在这等我Stayhere.嘿钩子们生意兴隆吗Hey,meathooks,hookmeatmuch?Ha-ha.内尔森Nelson?内尔森你在哪Nelson,whereareyou?凶手藏匿点怎么和我的房♥间一模一样Thekiller'slairlooksjustlikemyoldbedroom.爵士盛典1993年90月怎么会Buthow?Ooh.也许作案过程会在监控里Maybethekiller'sonthesecurityfootage.不没可能No!Itcan'tbe!别动Freeze!什我不是凶手我精神创伤已经痊愈了Wha.?1can'tbethekiller!Iturnedmytraumaintohealing!奥普拉说的Oprahsaidso!不好意思刚才有些许混乱msorryfortheimbroglio,可既然主厨坚持要搞塔可星期二butifthechefdecuisineinsistsoncallingitTacoTuesdays,又供应不了好的玉米卷饼hecan,tverywellserveflautas就不能指望我们安安分分andexpectusnottomakeafuss.你好啊鲍勃Hello,bob.你怎么在这H-Howdidyougetinhere?我知道只要我用最残暴的手段Well,IknewifIkilledenoughpeople杀足够的人inthemostgruesomepossibleways,他们就会送我来这所监狱they'dsendmetoyourprison.但进你的牢房♥Buttogetintoyourcell?还是得到了一些小小的帮助Ihadalittlehelp.杀手丽莎1.isathekiller.还不知道你有这一面呢Ineverthoughtyouhaditinyou.你认识的丽莎没有TheLisayouknewdidn't.我是支线Butmanotherstory.真的假的Oh,really?多重人格Splitpersonalities?比喻警报Tropealert!快找警卫Callthefirstthoughtpolice.丽莎教授在不知情的情况下做了我的共犯ProfessorLisahadnoideashewasmyaccomplice.不过她已经死了她是最后一位受害者Butshe'sgonenow.Shewasmylastvictim.或者倒数第二个Or,rather,secondtolast.倒数第二音节Thepenultimate.春田核电站甜甜圈一人一个辛普森涡轮室里不许吃东西Simpson.Noeatingintheturbineroom.什么时候的规矩Sincewhen?禁止饮食一向如此呵呵保姆政♥府♥占上风Pfft.Thenannystatewinsagain.不许在反应堆美黑Notanninginthereactorcore,开车啃排骨的时候不许发消息notextingwhiledrivingandeatingribs.甚至不能用机♥枪♥修修树篱Can'teventrimyourhedgeswithamachinegun.什么时候都怂成这样了Whendideveryonegetsoscared?如果人们都像我这样依靠常识世界该多美好Theworldwouldbefineifpeoplejustusedcommonsense.Likeme.它掉了Ah!Jailbreak!延长生命实验室女人女人Woman.Woman.此处亦禁止进食说真的侯默对保姆政♥府♥一比零Homer,one.Nannystate,zero.该死的放射脏甜甜圈在我睡着时改了我的DNAStupidradioactivegarbagedonutmutatingmyDNAwhileIsleep.谁偷r我的弗兰德斯的报纸Hey,whostolemyFlanders1Snewspaper?对不住了小侯默Sorryaboutthat,Homer-ino,但我在昨晚填字游戏后又把答案擦掉了butI-Iwhitedoutthecrosswordafter1didit,这样你也能享受这游戏soyoucouldenjoyit,too.比炉子烟囱冒出的烟好多了是不是Betterfromthechimneythanthefurnace,amIright?由此可见圣经从来没说过So,yousee,there'snothingintheBiblethatsays牧师和他妻子不能分开各自度假apastorandhiswifecan'ttakeseparatevacations.我的顶级生活爸爸你是在被圣灵纠缠吗Daddy,areyoubeingtickledbytheHolySpirit?我被变成了没川版侯默vebeenneighborino,dintoHome-diddly-omer.而橄榄球赛正进行时候我为何还呆在教堂AndwhyamIinchurchwhenfootballison?去死吧教堂Kissmyass,church-os.我胖我秃可觉得自己前所未有的性感mfat,I'mbald,andveneverfeltsexier,baby.为什么你这小.Why,youlittle.春田第一教堂煎饼早餐售罄粗人间歇一种神秘苦难降临春田AmysteriousafflictionhasdescendeduponSpringfield.不分年龄段种族和口头禅的市民们Citizensofeveryage,raceandcatchphrase都奇怪的变成秃顶梨形头的呆瓜aremysteriouslytransformingintobald,pear-shapeddoofi.多拿司徒有二型糖尿病DonutStuhasdiabetestype2.新闻好愚蠢Newsisstupid.有人放个摔跤节目吗Somebodyputonwrestling.这些打嗝的秃头们有没有让你想起谁Doalltheseburpingbaldosremindyouofanyone?到哪我都认得出那个挠屁♥股♥动作dknowthatbuttscratchanywhere.大家都变成了爸爸Everyone'sturningintoDad.孩子们你们爸爸那并无优点的基因序列Uh,children,yourfather'slessthanstellargeneticcode正通过打嗝形式四处传播isspreadingthroughburp-bornetransmission.如果想要治愈这个病毒我们需要他的DNAIfwe,regoingtocurethisvirus,weneedhisDNA.你们三人是仅有能够不受病毒影响之人Youthreearetheonlyonesimpervioustothevirus.你们必须找到他Youhavegottofindhim.已经是上午十一点半了Hmm.Itis11:30inthemorning.老谋7酒馆啤酒老谋子啤酒老谋子Beer,Moe.Beer,Moe.一杯啤酒一个老谋子A-beer,a-Moe.你看到我爸爸了吗Haveyouseenourdad?没有这只有成百上千的蠢版复♥制♥的他No,justthesehundredsofsillyversionsofhim,可也是我目前遇到过的最美好的事情whichisthegreatestthingthathaseverhappenedtome.我是说钱赚的简直如流水Imean,mprintingmoneyoverhere.马上就来圣诞老人的小侯默Comingrightup,Santa'slittleHomer.真的爸爸不在保龄球馆不在糖果店RealDadwasn'tatthebowlingalley,thecandystore,也没在动物园嘲笑河马ormockingthehipposatthezoo.等等爸爸昨晚吃了一桶这种鸡肉Wait.Dadateabucketofthischickenlastnight.雷氏鸡肉店他吃鸡肉后一般第二天都会在哪Whenthathappens,wheredoeshealwaysspendthenextday?桑西洗车店男厕我一会就出去I'llbeoutinaminute.这真的是你父亲最感觉舒适的洗手间吗Um,isthisreallythemostconvenientbathroomforyourfather?是妈妈允许他用的卫生间里最近的个It'stheclosestoneMomwilllethimuse.爸爸我们需要你拯救世界Dad,Weneedyoutosavetheworld.行了行了行了Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah.你敢相信有个门♥痴♥Canyoubelievesomeidiot把这么好用的痒痒挠落在里面了吗leftthisperfectlygoodbackscratcherinthere?看它可以1.ook,itgoesall.路挠到底theway.down.咋了What?只要你登上付氏直升机Now,ifyou'lljustboardthefrink-ama-copter.没人这么叫它We'renotcallingitthat.然后把你的基因放到付氏制表机里Andthenwe'llpopyourDNAintothefrink-tabulizer.没人这么叫它We'renotcallingitthat.一切就会回到原样的Andeverythingwillgobacktothewayitwas.等下我为什么会想回到原样Wait.Holdon.WhywouldIwantthat?大家终于和我想法一致了Finally,everyonethinksthewayIdo.没人再给自行车头盥制定愚蠢的规则了Nobody'smakingupstupidrulesaboutbicyclehelmets也没人管该去哪儿抽雪茄orwhereyoucansmokecigars.你想不想不系安全带开车Youwanttodrivewithoutaseatbelt?一边视频通话一边乱穿马路FaceTimewhilejaywalking?享用高糖汽水Enjoyasugarysoda?想干就去干没人会受伤的Goahead!You'renothurtinganyone!这就是个乌托邦It'sautopia.不是我托邦No,ame-topia!好吧你不会希望每个人都变得和你一样的Yes,WelLyoudon'treallywanteveryonetobelikeyou.看我闪瞎你的眼Earth-shatteringreveal!保险广♥告♥什么时候这么有意思了Whendidinsurancecommercialsgetsofunny?马姬Marge!和我们合作是唯一让你老婆恢复正常的方法Cooperatingwithusistheonlywaytogetyourwifebacktonormal.你从未如此美丽You'veneverlookedmorebeautiful.往边上挪挪美人Scoochover,gorgeous.等我们回家以后Whenwegethome,我们可以接着口鼻相亲let'syouandIbumpmuzzles.求你了如果没人能管事Please.Please!Ifwedon'thavesomecompetentpeopleleft这个社会会瓦解的torunthings,societywillcollapse!没有管理网络的程序员CoderstoruntheInternet给你送上最新的不实信息thatfeedsyouthelatestmisinformation.没有飞行员驾驶把你捆在座位上的飞机Pilotstoflytheplanesyouneedtoberestrainedon.如果这个世界失去各位专家Imean,aworldwithoutexperts.尖嘴什么时候能闭嘴DoesBeakerevershutup?说得好我版马姬Goodone,me-Marge.好吧这是你逼我的Mm,well,youleavemenochoice.我要发动核空袭mcallinginanuclearairstrike把所有侯默化的春田镇居民全部消灭了toobliteratealltheHomerizedSpringfielders,非常不幸的是including,verysadly,长靴妖姬的巡演剧团也包括在内thetouringcompanyofKinkyBoots.消灭倒计时三二Obliteratinginthree,two.你知道你最需要什么吗Hey,youknowwhatyouneed?有人给你好好放松地挠一下背Anice,relaxingscratchontheback.不不我一辈子的研究和教育都No!No!Oh,alifetimeofstudyandeducationdownthe.*这一定就是天堂的模样*Thismustbejustlikelivinginparadise* 我再也不想回家* AndIdon'twanttogohome* 这一定就是天堂的模样* Thismustbejustlikelivi
