Parks and Recreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第六季第八集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

我们今晚好好玩一下PawneeWe'regonnahavesomefuntonight,Pawnee!谁准备好"健身60"TWhoisreadytoplay60?所有人上场吧-耶Everybodyonthefield!-Yeah!美国橄榄球联盟NFL2007年以来举办的真实活动美橄联有一个尝试让孩子们每天运动60分钟的活动TheNFLhasacampaigntotrytogetkidsactivefor60minutesperday.所以我们开大巴拉来了100个Pawnee的幸运小混♥蛋♥Andsowebusedinahundredlucky,littlebuggersfromPawnee.而他们有机会和小马队来一局AndtheyaregonnagetachancetoplaywiththeColts.一种全速冲刺后急停转身的战术哦不是吧Reggie我跟你说了跑个回身路线的Oh!Comeon,Reggie!Itoldyoutorunabuttonhook.我就是啊Leslie-好吧Idid,Leslie.-Okay.我猜你应该知道的Iguessyouwouldknow.能再见你真的太好了Luck先生Apleasuretoseeyouagain,Mr.Luck.S05E10TwoParties我们去年在我们朋友的单身派对上简短遇见过Wemetbrieflylastyearatourfriend'sbachelorparty.哦是啊对你好吗Oh,yeah.Right.Howareyou?我通常不回答那个问题但既然我尊重你的天赋Inormallydon,tanswerthatquestion,butsinceIrespectyourtalent,我会告诉你一Iwilltellyou-我很好嗨我是April我偷了你的钱包Iamfine.-Hi,I'mApril.Istoleyourwallet.你们好奇怪-谢谢Youguysareweird.-Thankyou.咋滴啦妹子-继续走吧98号♥What'sup,girl?-Keepwalking,98.你甚至不想跟那个男的聊吗他可是打全国联赛的Youdon'tevenwanttotalktothatguy?HeplaysfortheNFL.他就是个中后卫He'salinebacker.DonnaMeagle仅供技术球员约会SkillpositionsonlyforDonnaMeagle.我搞来了小马队小帽子小马队围巾小马队烤炉烤着呢IgotmyColtsbeanie,myColtsscarf,IgottheColtsgrillgoing,还有最高荣耀小马队小鞋鞋andthecrowningglory-Coltsslippies.你要怎么穿那个跑啊Howareyougoingtoruninthose?“跑"吗Tommy可不跑那是你们的工作"Run"?Tommydoesn'trun,That'syourguys'job.现在呃我们来接这个橄榄抛球吧伙计们Now,uh,let'sgofetchthisfootballthrow,fellas.我爱运动哦Ilovesports.公园与游憩公园与游憩第6季第8集第6季第8集来看看Tom-Eagleton水库Checkitout,Tom-theEagletonreservoir.特别好吧就是个大蠢池子Isn'titstunning?-It,sjustabigdumbpond.我今早看到个YouTube视频上有条小狗骑了辆摩托车ThismorningIsawaYouTubeclipofalittlepuppyridingamotorcycle.所以我对“特别好”的标准是挺高的Somybarfor"stunning"isprettyhigh.我要是告诉你里面有氟化物呢,WhatifItoldyouthatthiswaterhasfluorideinit?那我会告诉你那个小狗狗有辆边车ThenIwouldtellyouthepuppyhadalittlesidecar里面坐着个叫Hampton的小猪猪withapiggyinitnamedHampton.首先视频链接发给我Firstofall,sendmealinktothatvideo.但更重要的是现在我们有Butmoreimportantly,nowthatwehaveaccessEagleton水库和水处理的使用权了totheEagletonreservoirandthewater-treatmentsupply.Pawnee水中会含氟化物了这是历史第一次Pawneeisgoingtohavefluorideinitswaterforthefirsttimeinourhistory,历史第一口搞定ouroralhistory.Nailedit.输了罢免选举我当然很沮丧OfcoursemupsetthatIlosttherecallelection.但我就要在我任期的剩余时间Butmjustgonnaspendtheremainderofmyterm塞满尽量多的好项目cramminginasmanygoodprojectsasIcan.lameduck指即将卸任的官员旧官卸任吗和新官上任一样.1.ameduck?Tryflameduck.照样能烧三把火'causethisduckisonfire.现在”租个型“关门了很难做政♥府♥的蠢工作啊It,sharddoingstupidgovernmentstuffnowthatRent-a-Swag,sclosed.我是个商人我生来就是做这个的mabusinessman.That'swhatIwasborntodo.嗯你看你就只能尽你已有的工作所能Well,look,youjustgottomakethemostofthejobthatyouhave.比如看看那个收垃圾的1.ike,takethattrashcollector.这不是世上最光彩的工作It,snotthemostglamorousjobintheworldj但他做的时候脸上有微笑呢buthe'sdoingitwithasmileonhisface.哦天啊Oh,myGod.他没穿裤子他什么毛病啊He,snotwearinganypants.What'swrongwithhim?我们走吧-他在对我们笑呢1.et'sgetoutofhere.-He,ssmilingatus!我们走跑1.et'sgo!Run!嘿怎么了伙计们Hey.What'sup,guys?看看Ron做了什么也太棒了1.ookwhatRonmade.It'samazing.儿个月前我走在路上找到了我的婴儿床用树Severalmonthsago,Iwasonawalkandfoundmycribtree.我走近那棵树谋杀r它在我的木工车间放着愈合Iapproachedthetree,murderedit,leftittocureinmywoodshop,然后开始为我待产的孩子做成一张婴儿床andhavebegunworkingitintoacribformyupcomingchild.RonSwanson你可不能用这个婴儿床啊RonSwanson,youcannotusethiscrib.你忽略了每条已知的婴儿床安全标准You'reignoringeveryknowncrib-safetystandard.我正读的养育手册完全覆盖了这些It'sallcoveredintheparentingbookmreading.1.ennyKravitz歌♥曲"AreYouGonnaGoMyWay"1.ennyKraVitZ的你准备重爬我的路了吗Areyougoingtocrawlmyway?ByLennyKravitz.我的婴儿床会是安全的因为是我亲手做的Mycribwillbesafebecausembuildingitwithmyowntwohands.我是在Bloomington买♥♥的婴儿床IboughtmycribinBloomington,我很自信那真的是可观测宇宙里最安全的婴儿床andIamconfidentthatitisliterallythesafestcribintheexploreduniverse.让我带你去你就能和销♥售♥员聊聊1.etmetakeyouthere,andyoucantalktothesalesperson.还价-你哪也不带我去我谁也不聊Counteroffer-youtakemenowhere,andItalktonoone.还-还价-Counter-Counteroffer-你跟我去不然我让你参加-场四小时的传真封面页规程会议youcomewithme,or1makeyouattendafour-hourfaxcover-sheetprotocolmeeting.不管怎样我都会赢Eitherway,it'sawinforme.法案目录上的下一件是批准Pawnee-Eagleton水库合并NextonthedocketisavotetoapprovethePawnee-Eagletonreservoirmerger.哇哇哇哇Whoa,whoa,Whoa,whoa.我们就要用氟化物毁灭水供应了吗We'rejustgoosingourwatersupplywithfluoride?我是说别啊我们真的要强迫每个Pawnee居民Imean,comeon.ArewereallygonnaforceeveryPawneeresident摄入我们毫不了解的化学物质吗toingestachemicalweknownothingabout?氟化物是communists用来精神控制我们的玩艺儿Fluorideisusedbythecommuniststocontrolourminds.不不是氟化物可以精神控制吗No,it'snot.-Fluoridecancontrolminds?比如你可以用来让女士们做事情1.ike,youcanuseittomakeladiesdostuff?怎么我才是这个市议会里被踢走的那个啊HowamItheonethatisgettingbootedoffofthiscitycouncil?好吧氟化物是安全的对你有好处的Okay,fluorideissafe,itisgoodforyou,而且几乎美国的每个镇都在用andalmosteverytowninAmericausesit.啊好吧你抓到我了Ah,allright.Yougotme.我不想水里放氟化物因为我是个医生我喜欢踽齿Idon'twantfluorideinthewaterbecausemadentist,andIlikecavities.是啊那可不是有效理由Yeah,thatisnotavalidreason.Pawnee的踽齿问题就是一个小镇牙医Pawnee,scavityproblemiswhyasmall-towndentist,比如我能负担这种豪华座驾的原因likeme,canaffordsuchabossride.曾经让一个亚洲妹在里面坐过一次GotanAsiangirltositinitonce.我们为啥要出来啊Whydidwecomeouthere?别啊Jamm叙化物入水-简单决定了Comeon,Jamm.Fluorideinthewater-it,sano-brainer.你不能就放我一马吗Can'tyoujustletmehavethisone?做不到啊KnopeyNocando,Knopey.事实上我想提出我自己的法案-Asamatteroffact,Iwouldliketoproposemyownbill-Pawnee净水法案永久禁止在我们的水供应里加任何东西thePawneeCleanWaterBill,whichprohibitsaddinganythingtoourwatersupplyforever.Jamm没法阻止这次水库合并的对吧Jamm,snotgoingtobeabletokillthisreservoirmerger,ishe?在我这边我有事实科学和理性Onmyside,Ihavefacts,science,andreason.他有的只是制♥造♥恐慌Allhehasisfear-mongering.我的天啊他会赢的Oh,myGod,he'sgonnawin.是啊人们对这种东西神经过敏Yeah,peoplegetjitteryaboutstufflikethis.记得去年没人愿意打流感疫苗Rememberlastyearwhennoonewouldgetflushots因为有谣言说它们会把你变成欧洲人吗,causetherewasarumortheyturnedyouEuropean?嗯我想点办法-哦Jessica来了我最好挂掉了Well,llfiguresomethingout.-Oh,Jessica'shere.Ibettergo.好拜-嘿糖屁屁Okay,bye.-Hey,sugarbutt.Muncie有坨肥油吃了些污染的Sweetums太妃棒SomeIardosinMuncieatetaintedSweetumstoffeesticks腹泻太厉害最后拉进医院了anddiarrhea'dsomuch,theyendedupinthehospital.恶-我们能给他们学校Ugh.-Canwegivetheirschool,搞个新跷跷板之类的吗like,anewseesaworsomething?是谢了Yeah.Thanks.新网站看起来不错干得漂亮Thenewsitelooksgood.Nicework.哦天啊这些狗也太可爱了Oh,myGod.Thesedogsaresocute.我想去吐然后自杀Iwanttothrowupandkillmyself.动物管理部接管了所有来自Eagleton的宠物AnimalcontrolhadtotakeinallthepetsfromEagleton.疯了Craig以前管理它们所有的收&hearts溶♥所♥AndCrazyCraigusedtorunalltheirshelters,所以他帮我给所有的狗建了个领养网站sohehelpedmemakeanadoptionwebsiteforallthedogs.如果你能看到这个网站还不想带50条狗回家Ifyoucanlookatthatsiteandnotwanttotakehome50dogs,你基本上就是战犯了you'rebasicallyawarcriminal.看那条在泥坑里翻滚的样子吗Seethewaythatdogisrollingaroundinapuddle?那是Andy热的时候会做的事情That'ssomethingAndydoeswhenhegetshot.哦天啊没错那也太Andy了Oh,myGod,you'reright.ThatissoAndy.哦我的天那条狗完全就是TOmOh,myGod.Thatdogistotally.-Tom!不知道为啥看起来不像他但就是1don'tknowwhy.Itdoesn'tlooklikehim.Butitjustis.就像有Tom精华的狗It,slikethedogistheessenceofTom.好吧现在在会议室开重要会议Okay,importantmeetingintheconferenceroomrightnow.我们要挑选我们的精神狗狗Wearegoingtoallpickourspiritdogs.哦我得去机场接Gayle了Oh,vegottopickupGayleattheairport.1.arry我对上天发誓1.arry,IsweartoGod,如果你现在走了我们会让你的精神狗狗变成小雪纳瑞ifyouleaverightnow,wewillmakeyourspiritdogaminiatureschnauzer.那很糟糕吗是的Isthatbad?-Yes!进去吧Getinthere!Ann找到了这个地方Annfoundthisplace.我们就是在这买♥♥的“自然之声”机器It,swhereweboughtour"SoundsofNature"machine.你买♥♥了个机器作为打开窗户的复♥制♥品吗Youboughtamachinethatreplicatesanopenwindow?Frasier我是ChrisTraeger记得我吗Frasier!ChrisTraeger.Doyourememberme?VannaWhite幸运之轮主持人我之前来找过VannaWhite的育儿书-IcameinherelookingfortheVannaWhitebookonchildcare-我想解开育儿之谜dliketosolvethepuzzleofparenting.你能给我朋友Ron看看卖♥♥给我的那个超棒的婴儿床吗Couldyoushowmyfriend,Ron,thatamazingcribthatyousoldme?那个“爱宝宝小甜心永永远远dou安全"型号♥TheBabyloveL,ilSweetheartSafe4EverandEvermodel.哦是的那玩意儿很危险Oh,yeah,thatthingisadeathtrap.你说什么今早发现的-它被召回了msorry?-Justfoundoutthismorning-it'sbeingrecalled.他们在胶水里找到了双环芬他酚Theyfoundmaxicylofentabolintheglue.那是好事吗听起来很糟Isthatgood?Itsoundsbad.把我的指甲都烧掉了Itburnedoffmyfingernails.我在车里等llbeinthecar.1.eslieKnope女议员想把氟化物CouncilwomanLeslieKnopewantstoputfluoride,那是个化学物质放进你们的饮用水里whichisachemical,intoyourdrinkingwater.均有剧毒你们知道还有什么是化学物质吗马钱子碱和富化物Youknowwhatelseisachemical?Strychnineandcyanide.啥-还有土还有铁锈甚至碎玻璃What?-Anddirt.andrustandevenbrokenglass.正是Exactly.你肯定很理解化学物质是什么PerdYoudefinitelyunderstandwhatchemicalsare,Perd.我想建议如果你们想联♥系♥那个Iwouldsuggestifyouwanttocontactthepsychopath想让你们的孩子成为数学差的communist的氟化僵尸的精神病人thatwantstoturnyourkidsintobad-at-math,communistfluoridezombies,嗯就打屏幕下方的那个号♥码吧well,justcallthenumberatthebottomofyourscreen.1.eslieKnope1.eslieKnope.请别说了你猜怎么着Stoprightthere.Youknowwhat?氟化物能保护你的牙齿对你是完全健康的Fluorideprotectsyourteeth,andit'sperfectlyhealthyforyou.嗯如果Jamm那么说那他就是个撒谎的蠢货Well,ifJammsaysthat,thenheisalyingidiot,如果你相信的话那你也是andifyoubelieveit,thensoareyou.哇你跟那个人说话的方式就像我跟你一样Whoa.YoujusttalkedtothatpersonlikeItalktoyou.你不能那么做的-为啥不能Youcan'tdothat.-Whynot?他们能怎么办呢把我踢出市议会吗Whataretheygonnado,kickmeoutofoffice?我为啥花了这么久才明白Whydidittakemesolongtorealizethis?我的行为已经没有任何后果了Therearenoconsequencestomyactionsanymore.不管我做什么真的没有坏事能发生在我身上Nomatterwhat1do,literallynothingbadcanhappentome.我就像是个白男美国参议员mlikeawhite,maleU.S.senator.氟化物要进水笨蛋Fluorideisgoingintothewater,moron.哦嘿妈抱歉Oh.Hey,mom.Sorry.因为它只会避免蛀牙啊Becauseallitdoesispreventcavities!天啊我还对你有指望呢God!Iexpectedmorefromyou.好嘲我现在要放飞自我了Right.maloosecannon.我们需要以毒攻毒Weneedtofightfirewithfire.我召开一次市政厅会议我把大家聚集起来Icallatownhallmeeting,1gathereveryonetogether,我分发活页夹Idistributethebinders,但现在活页夹都是亮黄色了butnowthebindersarebrightyellow!哈Boom!太过分了吗-太啥也不是Tooextreme?-Toonothing.你看Jamm已经把氟化物毁所有人都害怕了1.ook,Jamm'salreadyruinedfluoride.Everyone'sscaredofit要是我们就叫成其他东西呢Whatifwejustcalleditsomethingelse?你什么意思我意思是重新包装Whatdoyoumean?-1meanwerebrand.没人在乎CalVinBroadus直到他开始叫自己SnoopyDoggyDoggNoonecaredaboutCalvinBroadusuntilhestartedcallinghimselfSnoopDoggyDogg.然后等人们听累了他就改名叫SnoopDoggThenwhenpeoplegottiredofthat,hewentbySnoopDogg,现在他是Snoop狮子了andnowhe'sSnoopLion.十年后他会是啥-SnooP激光蛇吗What,shegonnabeintenyearsSnoopLaserSnake?谁知道呢-你是什么意思-我们得让氟化物性感一点吗Whoknows?-Whatareyousaying-weneedtosexupfluoride?我不知道啊Tom已经是个挺性感的话题了1don'tknow,Tom.It'saprettysexytopicalready.1.eslie你得给出一些让他们激动的东西1.eslie,yougottogivepeoplesomethingtogetexcitedabout.你告诉我要完全利用我工作的优势Youtoldmetomakethemostofmyjob.我擅长这些东西mgoodatthisstuff.现在你到底要不要放飞自我Now,areyoualoosecannonornot?来啊Yeah.我放飞得像房♥费一样做你的事吧Tommaslooseasagoose.Doyourthing,Tom.嗯记住关键是找到一条能概括你情绪的狗Now,remember,it'saboutfindingadogthatcapturesyourspirit.你们看这是CraigSee?ThisisCraig.哦不简直是疯了你选那条的话我就把这个地方烧成平地Oh,no!Thatisinsane!Iwillburnthisplacetothegroundifyoupickthatone!好吧选得好Okay,goodchoice.你们呐这是LeslieYouguys,Leslie.是的还有Yes!And.RonSwansonRonSwanson.哦-哦天啊这是LarryOh!-Oh,myGod.ThisisLarry.很棒啊中奖Donna搞定了That'sgreat.-Bingo.Donna.Nailedit.哦Ooh.因为你很好看喜欢打扮之类的Becauseyou'reprettyandyoulikemakeupandstuff.游戏结束了Gameover.Ron我想像Swanson一样行事Ron,IwanttodothingstheSwansonway.好的第一条对话不超一百字Wonderful.Firstrule-noconversationlastslongerthan100totalwords.你用九个我用二十Youhaveused9.1haveused20.继续-有意思Continue.-Fun.请你教我做婴儿床dlikeyoutoteachmetobuildacrib.为什么你要自己做Whydoyouneedtobuildyourowncrib?因为我只相信亲手做的东西BecauseInolongertrustanythingotherthanmyowntwohands.很衰弱但很激动-好午饭去我木JL场Itisdebilitating,butexciting.-Okay,we'llgotomywoodshopatlunch.太好了看看我们Wonderful.Lookatus-都在为父的交点bothstandingonthecuspoffatherhood.我们共处不多Iknowwehaven,tspentalotoftimetogether,但是-100but-100.好的所以结论是.Allright,so,inconclusion.氟化物化学物质fluoride,chemical,小鸡鸡错误信息恐慌死亡JennyMcCarthytinygenitals,misinformation,panic,death,JennyMcCarthy.嗯我不知道啊议员Well,Idon'tknow,councilman.听着有点干啊Thatwasalittledry.我们玩得开心一点怎么样啊Whatdoyousaywehavesomefun,huh?看看这个Checkthis.白水吗呸Plainwater?Yuck.我好无聊mbored.那就试试这个Thentrythis.怎么-发生什么了Whatthe-whatjusthappened?那杯水里包含牙闪亮Thatwatercontainsteethdazzle会让你的牙齿更强壮而且在你的嘴里开趴体whichmakesyourteethstrongerandstartsapartyinyourmouth.什么氟化物太无聊了伙计们What?Fluoride'sboring,guys.呸Boo!欢迎来到牙闪亮这不是个化学物质WelcometoT-dazzle.It'snotachemical.这是个基于水的社交媒体口部体验It,sanaquatic-basedsocial-mediaoralexperience.所有人在下一个小时里发推包含#牙闪亮#话题Everyonewhotweetsat#T-dazzleinthenexthour就有机会赢得一件激动人心的纯蓝T恤willbeenteredtowinanexcitingplainblueT-shirt.我说牙你们说闪亮Isay,T,"yousay"dazzle.,牙闪亮"T."-Dazzle.牙闪亮,'T."-Dazzle.牙闪亮"T."-Dazzle.感谢你的木工课RonThankyouforthewoodworkinglesson,Ron.这整个婴儿床召回的事情真的让我重新考虑一切Thiswholecrib-recallthinghasgotmeliterallyrethinkingeverything我以为我了解的育儿知识IthoughtIknewaboutparenting.你用的睡眠方式是什么Whatsleepmethodwillyoubeusing-Ferber的哭声控制法还是Sears的亲密育儿法Ferber,Sears?Swanson方法Swansonmethod,你闭上眼睛然后入睡whereyoucloseyoureyesandfallasleep.我真心希望Ron能参与IreallywishRonwouldengage,但他流露出太多的智慧butheexudessomuchwisdom只要他在旁边我就能学到很多育儿技巧thatIcanlearnparentingtipssimplybybeinginhispresence.像Ron这样的人没有教的时候也在教SomeonelikeRonisteachingevenwhenthey'renotteaching.这么说有意义吗Doesthatmakesense?我的焦虑已经让我超过50个小时没睡了Myanxietyhaskeptmeupforover50hours.我们的民调显示72%的市民愿意将“牙闪亮”加入他们的水Ourpollingshowsthat72%ofcitizensareinfavorofaddingT-dazzletotheirwater,有效的消灭了Jamm议员所谓的净水法案effectivelykillingCouncilmanJamm,sso-calledCleanWaterBill.吃瘪吧Jamm我赢了Eatit,Jamm.Iwon.接受道歉Apologyaccepted.你知道我实际在此事上同意你的看法Youknow,veactuallycomearoundtoyourwayofthinkingonthis.我唯一的想法是为啥在这停下呢Myonlythoughtis,whystophere?女士们先生们Sweetums总裁JeSSiCaWicks1.adiesandgentlemen,SweetumspresidentJessicaWicks.呜Whoo!你们看我们都爱“牙闪亮”1.ook,weallloveT-dazzle.但我们可以为改善我们的饮用水做更多ButWecandomoretoimproveourdrinkingsupply.Sweetums非常激动地提出一种无聊市供水的替代品Sweetumsisexcitedtoproposeanalternativetoboringmunicipalwater.我们叫做“喝它”Wecallit"Drink-ems"!呜Whoo!Sweetums准备好接管Pawnee水供应的管理了SweetumsispreparedtotakeoverthemanagementofPawnee'swater.这会给这个镇省下非常多的钱Thisisgonnasavethistownbeaucoupbucks.啜饮一口这些美味的水Takeasipofthisdeliciouswater想象一下它们从你家中的水管流出andimagineitcomingoutofyourfaucetsathome.这些水里装满了糖Thiswaterisfilledwithsugar.我们绝不可能这么做的There'sabsolutelynowaywearedoingthis.太晚了我们要把整个水库都装满这玩意儿Toolate.We'regonnafillthewholereservoirwiththisstuff.将军Checkmate.你就为了那么做把那些东西带在身上吗Didyoubringthosewithyoujusttodothat?可能呢-该死Maybe.-Damn.是很浪的一招我们现在要怎么办呢LeslieItisabailermove.WhatareWegonnadonow,Leslie?嘿好吧你还在为那个贵宾犬的事情生气吗Hey.Okay,areyoustillmadatmeaboutthepoodlething?就是个蠢游戏而已我可以另选条狗Itwasjustadumbgame.Icanpickanotherdog.我不是为你的选择生气mnotmadaboutthechoice.我是为你的原因生气mmadaboutyourreasons.“好看"“打扮“那就是你对我了解的一切了吗"Pretty/1"makeup"-isthatallyouknowaboutme?我们都没怎么相处啊Wedon'thangoutthatmuch.又不是你对我了解有一大堆It,snotlikeyouknowatonaboutme.你很美丽但冷漠而疏远You'rebeautiful,yetcoldandaloof.你以自己的孤独为荣耀Youprideyourselfonbeingaloner.