Parks and Recreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第七季第十集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

现在是JohnnyKarate超赞音乐爆♥炸♥秀It'sTheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesomeMusicalExplosionShow.现在来介绍你们的主持人JOhnnyKarate的Now,tointroduceyourhost,JohnnyKarate,是我PerdHapleyhereisme,PerdHapley!安静Silence!欢迎来到这个节目唯一一个只关于学习Welcometotheonlyshowthat'sallaboutlearning,音乐动物焰火滑水还有最重要的冰淇淋披萨music,animals,fireworks,waterskis,andabovealbicecream,pizza,忍♥者变强鲨鱼对黑熊还有最重要的ninjas,gettingstronger,sharksversusbears,andaboveall.空手道karate!嗨呀Hiya!现在要不孩子们帮我一起来唱欢迎歌♥吧Now,whydon,tyoukidshelpmesingTheWelcomeSong!让我拿下吉他1.etmejustgrabmyguitar.有人偷走了我的吉他Someonehasstolenmyguitar.这个案子看起来是准备给特工ThisseemslikeacaseforSpecialAgent.BurtMacklin的BurtMacklin.我才不在乎呢蝙蝠侠是你为我工作Idon'tgiveacrap,Batman.Youworkforme.扩大搜索范围Increasetheperimeter!MaCklin总统打来六次了Macklin,thePresident'scalledsixtimes.如果我们拿不【可那把吉他伊♥拉♥克♥的和平会被取消的Ifwedon,tgetthatguitarback,thepeaceinIraqwillbecanceled.别再唠叨了长官我已经尽我所能了Getoffmyback.Chief!mdoingthebestIcan.我可不遵守规矩1don'tplaybytherules.但我得到结果ButIgetresults.该死你又是对的Macklin我很抱歉Dangit!You'rerightagain,Macklin.Andmsorry.你是我见过最棒的特工我还和詹姆斯邦德工作过呢You'rethebestagentveseen.AndveworkedwithJamesBond.这条线索可能有用-嗯Thiscluemayhelp.-Mm.这是留在犯罪现场的Itwasleftatthecrimescene.你退下吧You'redismissed.这个案子就一直深上加深了Thiscasejustkeepsgettingdeeperanddeeper.我淹死在游泳池大人的一边mdrowningintheadultendofthepool,而救生员去卫生间拉屎了andthelifeguard'soffinthebathroompooping.那那台词写得挺好啊Thats-Thafsgoodwriting.JohnnyKarate的吉他被偷走了JohnnyKarate'sguitarhasbeenstolen.那把乐器真的价值9亿美元Thatinstrumentisworthliterally$900million.但更重要的是他不能用来演奏再见歌♥了Butmoreimportantly,hecan'tplayTheGood-byeSongwithoutit.所以当这期节目结束的时候So,bythetimethisshowisover,我会找到是谁偷走的他们会付出终极的代价Iwillfindwhostoleit,andtheywillpaytheultimateprice.张单程票前往难闻猴子泡水箱Aone-waytickettotheFunkyMonkeyDunkTank!所有那些还有更多就在JohnnyKarate超赞音乐爆♥炸♥秀Allthatandmore,onTheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesomeMusicalExplosionShow!公园与游憩第7季第10集* 是时候把无聊的蠢脸打肿*JIt'stimetopunchboredominitsstupidfaceJ* 跳踢捶跳*Jjump,kick,punch,andjumpJ,* 把悲伤全部抛踢到外太空*JAnddrop-kicksadnessintoouterspaceJ* 捶踢直到你掉*JPunch,kicktillyoudropJ* 这就是JohnnyKarate超费*JIt'stheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesomeJ* 音乐爆♥炸♥秀*JMusicalExplosionShowJ所以空手道大♥师♥们你们在这So,karatemasters,youarehere看到的是一集额外赞和超级特别的JohnnyKarate节目foranextra-awesomeandsuper-specialepisodeofJohnnyKarate.那是因为这是我的最后一♥期♥节目了Andthatisbecauseit'smyfinalshow.别沮丧Don'tIookglum.在几周之后我会搬去华盛顿Inacoupleofweeks,I'llbemovingtoWashington,D.C.它是整个世界的首都It,sthecapitaloftheentireworld.他们有的东西比如这栋白宫TheyhavethingstherelikethiswhitehouseSmithsonian机构国家航♥空♥航♥天♥博物馆还有这家精神病院andthismentalinstitution以及我最喜欢的林肯纪念堂andmyveryfavorite,theLincolnMemorial.这是这个巨大怪物的疯狂雕塑It'sthiscrazystatueofthisgiantmonster坐在椅子上代表美国所有的敌人sittingonachairthatrepresentsallofAmerica'senemies.我会搬去华盛顿因为我的老婆AprilLudgate-Karate-DwyerllbemovingtoWashington,D.C,becausemywife,AprilLudgate-Karate-Dwyer,在那里接受了一份超棒的工作hasacceptedanamazingjobthere.我非常为她骄傲完全爱上她了mveryproudofherandtotallyinlove.April要不你出来跟孩子们聊聊吧April,whydon'tyoucomeonoutandtalktothechildren?鞠个躬因为太酷了Takeabowforbeingsocool.嘿JohnnyHey,Johnny!所以既然这是你最后一♥期♥节目了我想做So,sinceit'syournalshow,Iwantedtodo最后一次更加特别的April的动物角落onelastextra-specialApril'sAnimalCorner.是的That'sright.这周我带来了整个世界上最可怕的最奇怪的动物ThisweekIbroughtoneofthescariest,weirdestanimalsinthewholeworld一只歌♥利亚食鸟狼蛛agoliathbird-eatingtarantula.哇Wow!啊Ah!那个名字”歌♥利亚“是“巨大”的意思Now,thename,"goliath"means"giant."而你们可以看到-AndyoucanseethatAndy它在哪儿呢-什么Andy,whereisit?-What?啊哦-它在哪儿呢Uh-oh.-Whereisit?别看我啊我不知道发生什么了Don'tlookatme.Idon'tknowwhathappened.我把它拿出来玩捉迷藏了Itookitouttoplayhide-and-seek.我找不到了然后-哦是这么回事啊Icouldn'tfindit,andthen-Oh,that,swhathappened.好吧嗯又一次的April的动物角落Okay,well,onceagain,April'sAnimalCornerhas变成了我们最喜欢的部分之一-turnedintooneofourfavoritesegments-演播室中的逃跑动物1.ooseAnimalintheStudio.耶Yay!如往常一样当我们偶然做了”演播室中的逃跑动物”环节时Andasalways,whenweaccidentallyendupdoingLooseAnimalintheStudio,我们必须给你们看这个免责声明Wehavetoshowyouthisdisclaimer.无聊哦Boring!这是个免责声明我没读过这个免责声明Here,sadisclaimer,Ididn'treadthisdisclaimer.哦这个点不错Ooh,goodpoint.好了结束了Okay.Done.好了孩子们所以要注意一只-叫什么来着Okay,kids,sobeonthelookoutfora-What'sitcalled?一只歌♥利亚食鸟狼蛛Agoliathbird-eatingtarantula,被委内瑞拉本地人认作是“恶魔的拳头”knownlocallytoVenezuelansas"thedevil'sfist."拜孩子们Bye,kids!好了孩子们嗯我们有很多事情要做Okay,kids,well,we'vegotalotofworktodo,进行通向成功的五个空手道步骤performingtheFiveKarateMovestoSuccess.和我一起唱Singitwithme!*今天我们要做点什么*JTodaywe'regonnamakesomethingJ*学点什么*JLearnsomethingJ1*空手道劈点什么*JKaratechopsomethingJ*然后我们尝试点新东西*JAndthenwe'lltrysomethingnewJ*即使它可能吓到你*JEvenifit,sscarytoyouJ*最后我们欢乐一阵*JAndfinallywe,11havesomefun?*善待某个人*JBeingnicetosomeoneJ*因为那就是JohnnyKarate的方式*JBecausethat,stheJohnnyKaratewayJ4第一步我们去做点什么Stepone-let'sgomakesomething.你好啊木匠RonHeno,CarpenterRon.最近如何啊Howareyoudoing?我的合同非常明确我不需要回答那个问题Mycontractisveryspecific.Idonothavetoanswerthatquestion.这周我要做一个展示盒ThisweekIammakingashadowboxframe,它可以用来展示一件有独特♥价♥值的东西whichcanbeusedtodisplayanobjectofgreatvalue.这一个是用美国樱桃木制♥作♥的ThisoneisconstructedwithAmericancherrywood.樱桃啊哈嗯我只有一个问题-Cherry,huh?Now,Ihavejustonequestion-不木材尝起来不像樱桃你不能吃No,thewooddoesnottastelikecherry.Youcannoteatit.我没打算吃木匠Ron我是打算舔Iwasnotgoingtoeatit,CarpenterRon.Iwasgoingtolickit.永远记得孩子们当你们找到点新东西时Alwaysremember,kids,whenyoufindsomethingnew,你必须在吃之前舔它youmustlickitbeforeyoueatit.那句话在很多方面都不正确Thatisincorrectinanumberofways.不过我确实很享受和你一起做东西孩子Isurehavehadsomefunmakingthingswithyou,son.感谢你为这个区域的孩子所做的一切Thankyouforeverythingyou'vedoneforthechildrenofthisarea.不用谢木匠RonYou'rewelcome,CarpenterRon.嘿孩子们这对我来说看起来应该是个.Hey,kids,this,tome,seemslikea.*拥抱时刻*JHugmoment?你搞错了拿开那个图像Youaremistaken.Removethegraphic.嗯核子们现在到了我们下一步”通向成功的空手道步骤”rWell,kids,it,stimeforournext"KarateMovetoSuccess."我们去学点什么1.et'slearnsomething.你好聪明脑数授Heno,ProfessorSmartbrain.嗨JohnnyHi,Johnny.呃听着我不知道你有没有收到我的邮件Uh,listen,Idon'tknowifyougotmyemail,但我觉得既然是最后一♥期♥节目了或许我们不要用-butIthoughtthatsincethisisourfinalshow,maybewenotusethe-无聊蜂鸣器无聊蜂鸣器了Boringbuzzer.好了孩子们今天我们要学习地理Okay,kids,todaywe'regonnalearnaboutgeography.那你Johnny要搬去华盛顿了Now,you,Johnny,aremovingtoWashington,D.C.我觉得我们可以聊的是需要多久Ithoughtwhatwecouldtalkaboutishowfast你才能到达乘坐飞机火车或是汽车youcouldgetthereusinganairplane,atrain,oracar.现在你能看到飞机是最快的Now,asyoucansee,theairplaneisthefastest.不是最快的时空传送呢Notthefastest.Whataboutteleporting?嗯当然了那真的会很好玩但那是不可能的Well,sure,thatwouldbereallyfun,butit'simpossible.没什么是不可能的孩子们Nothingisimpossible,kids.时空传送就是不可能的Teleportationisimpossible.这和理论物理有关It,sabouttheoreticalphysics.你知道是你请我来做这个的我是在帮你忙一Youknow,youaskedmetodothis.Thiswasafavor-早啊Johnny有邮件Morning,Johnny.Mailcall.嗨邮差BarryHi,MailmanBarry.今天谁给我写信了呢Whobroughtmemailtoday?嗯Johnny你收到了超过500封。Well,Johnny,yougotover500letters来自爱你的孩子们的信件请你和April留下fromkidswholoveyou,askingforyouandApriltostay.喔宝你听到了吗Aw,babe,didyouhearthat?现在Johnny你还有一封非常特别的信件Now,Johnny,youalsogotoneveryspecialletter.是来自我的It,sfromme.而在你节目的最后一天我觉得我可以给你读一下Andonthelastdayofyourshow,IthoughtIcouldreadittoyou.嗷Aw.”最亲爱的Andy我从没有过自己的儿子"DearestAndy,Ihaveneverhadasonofmyown,而我只想让你知道在过去的十年里andIjustwantyoutoknowthatforthepasttenyears"-到空手道劈点什么的时间了It'stimetokaratechopsomething!忍♥者们攻击Ninjas,attack!哦哎呀Oh,jeez.解散Disperse!记住永远别攻击一个真的邮递员Remember,neverattackarealpostalemployee.我们允许攻击邮差BarryWe'reallowedtoattackMailmanBarry因为他自愿帮我们练习空手道招数becausehevolunteeredtohelpuswithourkaratemoves.我还以为我会拿着一块木板或者什么但你知道Ikindofthoughtdbeholdingapieceofwoodorsomething,but,youknow.能帮忙就很开心了alwayshappytohelp.接下来我们要尝试点新东西和我的好朋友LeslieKnopeNextup,we'regoingtotrysomethingnew,withmygoodfriendLeslieKnope.嘿JohnnyKarate我太高兴来到你的最后一♥期♥节目了Hey,JohnnyKarate,msohappytobehereonyourlastshowever.嗨Leslie我很高兴你来这里教我们怎么变勇敢Hi,Leslie.mgladyou'reheretoteachusallhowtobebrave.所以Leslie你这周想尝试什么新事情呢So,Leslie,whatareyougoingtobetryingnewthisweek?我想接手主持我朋友的电视节目Iamgoingtobetakingoverhostingmyfriend'sTVshow.哈Huh?没错吧AprilIsn'tthatright,April?正是这样Thatisright.Johnny你让那么多孩子们和那么多家长们开心Johnny,youhavemadesomanykidsandsomanyparentssohappy,所以我们想给你一场合适的送别thatwewantedtogiveyouapropersend-offAndyDwyer/JohnnyKarateAndyDwyer/JohnnyKarate,这是你的生活thisisyourlife.哦天啊LeSlie这也太棒了Oh,mygosh,Leslie,thisisamazing.我不知道该说什么了.Idon'tknowwhattosay.真的因为通常我有个遵守的剧本但是.literally,becausenormallyIhaveascriptthatIhavetostickto,but.我不知道我现在要说什么了Idon'tknowwhatmsupposedtosayrightnow.有点噩梦啊-好吧就交给我们吧JohnnyIt'skindofanightmare.-Okay,youleavethattous,Johnny.呃等我们回来我们来看看AndyDwyer的旅程Uh,whenwecomeback,wewilltakealookatthejourneyofAndyDwyer.敬请期待Staytuned.“现在听来自我们赞助商的一些话”"Nowlistentosomewordsfromoursponsors/'是我正在说的话arethewordsmsayingrightnow.雇佣非常好建筑公♥司♥满足您的建筑需求HireVeryGoodBuildingCompanyforyourconstructionneeds.或者不雇佣我不求人Ordonot.Iamnotabeggar.广♥告♥结束Endofcommercial.Wamapoke人有句谚语-TheWamapokepeoplehaveasaying-”只有聆听的人才能听到狼的哭泣”"Onlyonewholistenshearsthecryofthewolf."这条建议被传下了一代又一代Thatadvicehasbeenpasseddownfromgenerationtogeneration.今天我把这条建议给你TodayIgivethatadvicetoyou.在Wamapoke赌场听听"币币狼"的声音1.istenforCoinsytheWolfatWamapokeCasino.一天两次一位幸运的游客会获得巨狼大奖Twiceaday,oneluckyvisitorwillhitthemega-wolfjackpot.而"币币狼"会为你而嚎AndCoinsywillhowlforyou!Wamapoke赌场一次一枚硬币慢慢从白人身上拿回我们的钱我们现在回到的是我的JohnnyKarate秀回归信息ThethingwereturntonowismyJohnnyKarateShowreturnmessage.欢迎回来Welcomeback.当我最初遇到站在我身边这个男人时他还不是一个文化现象WhenIfirstmetthemanstandingnexttome,hewasnotaculturalphenomenon.“现象”的意思是“探索一个洞穴”"Phenomenonnmeans"toexploreacave."他在经历一段艰难的时期Hewasgoingthroughatoughtime.他刚刚掉进了一个坑摔断了两条腿Hehadjustbrokenbothlegsfromfallingintoapit.我喝得超级醉Iwassuperwasted.儿童节目Andy-是的好决定Ifsakids'show,Andy.-Yes,goodcall.儿童节目-好决定Kids,show.-Goodcall.那个事件开启了我人生中非常多很好的事情Thateventsetinmotionmanywonderfulthingsinmylife,包括Pawnee公园的建造includingthebuildingofthePawneeCommons.所以以一种奇怪的方式Andy我都是欠你的So,inaweirdway,Andy,Ioweitalltoyou.而现在节目结束了我又得重新开始了Andnowthattheshowisending,mgonnahavetostartalloveragain.希望在华盛顿有个坑能让我掉进去Hopefullythere'sapitinWashington,D.C.,thatIcouldfallinto.Andy掌控了自己的生活然后给自己找了个工作Andypulledhislifetogether,andhegothimselfajob在市政厅擦鞋摊attheshoe-shinestandinCityHall.然后他成为了一位官僚的助手Hethenbecameabureaucraticassistant.嗨亲爱的一嘿嗨Hi,honey.-Hey.Hi.他总是很热情Hewasalwaysenthusiastic.但他也会把自己的预定事项记在胳膊上Buthealsokepttrackofhisappointmentsbywritingthemonhisarm.录最后一♥期♥节目现在还是Stilldo.为纪念那段时光以及保证你永远不会再错过预定Tocommemoratethattimeandtomakesurethatyounevermissanotherappointmentagain,我们给你带了一本印了你名字的日程本Wehavebroughtyouamonogrammeddayplanner.伙计们太贴心了Guys.Sosweet.谢谢你们喔Thankyou.Aw.哦不我搞丢了Oh,no.Ilostit.日程本不见了我哪儿都找不着了Thedayplanner'sgone.Ican'tfinditanywhere.什么What?挺合理真的Fitting,really.在那之后Andy去了英国为一家非盈利组织工作了几个月Fromthen,AndywenttoEnglandforafewmonthstoworkforanonprofit.他在那里和泰晤士河畔康沃尔郡第14代伯爵交了朋友Itwastherethathebefriendedthe14thEarlofCornwall-Upon-Thames,EdgarCovington爵士SirEdgarCovington.你看Ta-da!哦天啊Eddie这也太棒了Oh,myGod,Eddie,thisisamazing!Andy我在这个奇怪的平坦的地方Andy,Iamhereinthisweird,flatplace,称你为女王王国的忠实和真正的空手道守卫者tonameyoualoyalandtruekaratedefenderoftheQueen'sRealm.请单膝跪地Pleasegetdownononeknee.这份荣誉是为了表彰那些Thishonorisbestowedonthosewhohaveshowngreatachievement在艺术学习文学和科学领域具有重大成就的人infieldsofthearts,learning,literature,andscience.因此我在此称汝为Therefore,Iherebydubthee大英帝国勋章骑士aknightoftheOrderoftheBritishEmpire.等等你真能这么做啊Hangon,canyouactuallydothis?嗯严格说只有女王能授予爵位但是Well,technically,onlytheQueencanknightsomebody,but我太有钱了她让我想做啥就做啥msorichthatsheletsmedowhatIwant.你想接受爵位吗-哦不不不不Wouldyouliketobeknighted?-Oh,no,no,no,no.不当然不用这是Andy的大日子No,ofcoursenot.It'sAndy'sday.哥们我不介意啊-哦那是的请授予我爵位DUde,Idon'tmind.-Oh,then,yes,knightme,please.哦天哪这也太棒了Oh,myGod,thisisamazing!雷暴Ben爵士的凛冬将至WinteriscomingforSirBenLightstorm.“凛冬将至”权力的游戏中斯塔克家族的族语好了你们都是骑士了酷哦Okay,you'rebothknights.-Cool.伙计们这也太好玩了Guys,thiswassomuchfun.朋友同事音乐家丈夫AndyDwyer-Friend,coworker,musician,husband,AndyDwyer-AndyDwyer爵士SirAndyDwyer.AndyDwyer爵士对太多人有了太多意义SirAndyDwyerhadbecomesomanythingstosomanypeople.但他最伟大的创造还没到来Buthisgreatestcreationwasyettocome.对JohnnyKarate的致敬等我们回来AsalutetoJohnnyKaratewhenwecomeback.我们知道你想要什么-健康自然的食物而且依然美味Weknowwhatyouwant-healthy,naturalfoodthatstilltastesgreat.我们是来告诉你的.Andwe'reheretotellyou.它不存在Itdoesn'texist健康食物是给蠢货准备的Healthyfoodisforsuckers.它尝起来像垃圾如果你说喜欢你就是个呆子和骗子Ittasteslikegarbage,andifyousayyoulikeit,you'reachumpandaliar.诚实吧这才是你想吃的Behonest.Thisiswhatyouwanttoeat.大肚汉堡晚餐当早餐汉堡组合ThePaunchBurgerDinner-for-breakfastBurgerCombo.它尝起来棒极了Ittastesamazing.里面有什么谁在平呢What'sinit?Whocares?多少大卡闭嘴吧Howmanycalories?Shutup.它太棒了It'sawesome.塞进你身体里吧不然你就是个死宅Putitinyourbodyoryou'reanerd.大肚汉堡Andy最伟大的成就之一是他乐队老鼠耗子的成功OneofAndy,sgreatestachievementswasthesuccessofhisband,MouseRat.没人在做我们做的事情Noonewasdoingwhatweweredoing.嗯那也真的不是事实Well,that'snotreallytrue.我是说我们基本上是在翻唱DaveMatthews的歌♥Imean,wewerebasicallyplayingcoversofDaveMatthewssongs.所以我猜你可以说DaveMatthews在做我们做的事情SoIguessyoucouldsayDaveMatthewswasdoingwhatweweredoing.哦在一个像老鼠耗子一样的乐队里演奏Oh,toplayinabandlikeMouseRat给如此多人带来欢乐真的是礼赞thatbroughtsuchjoytosomanytrulywasamitzvah.我应该提到我现在是犹太拉比了Ishouldmentionmarabbinow.收看完整版摇滚纪录片请前往Forthefullrockumentary,gotoJohnnyKarate超赞音乐爆♥炸♥.COmTheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesomeMusicalE.而现在回到节目Andnow,backtotheshow.每个英雄都在失败中挣扎过Everyherostruggleswithfailure,面对一些他们做不到的事facessomethingtheycannotdo.Andy就在几年前面对了一次那种瞬间Andyfacedoneofthosemomentsjustafewyearsago.而我应该能灌下那四升牛奶的AndIwould'vechuggedthatentiregallonofmilk要不是突然开始乱吐的话hadInotstartedpukingoutofnowhere.不你没实现你成为Pawnee警♥察♥的梦想No,youdidnotachieveyourdreamofbecomingaPawneepoliceofficer.哦对Oh,right.但你确实创造了BurtMacklinButyoudidcreateBurtMacklin,一个表现执法部门各种很棒方面的形象acharacterwhoexemplifieseverythingthatisgreataboutlawenforcement来看看吧Takealook.我的名字是Burt霸王龙MacklinMynameisBurtTyrannosaurusMacklin.我不知道是什么问题啊警长Idon'tknowwhattheproblemis,Sergeant.就把大海抽干啊Justdraintheocean.Andy谨代表Pawnee警♥察♥局全体人员Andy,onbehalfoftheentirePawneePoliceDepartment,我想赠送你这枚真正的Pawnee警徽哇dliketopresentyouwiththisgenuinePawneepolicebadge.-Wow.它被永远安置在这个盒子里惊喜啊It'sensconcedforeverintheshadowboxwemadeearlier.-Howaboutthat?别No.孩子我们花了四天时间做那个啊Son,wespentfourdaysmakingthat.这对我意义太太重大了Thismeansso,somuchtome.我是警♥察♥了macop.我也该搞点手铐你手铐给我Randy不不不Ishouldgetsomehandcuffstoo.Givemeyourcuffs,Randy.-No,no,no.你的手铐给我-这只是个荣誉称号♥Givemeyourcuffs.-It'sanhonorarytitleonly.退下先生-停手别Standdown,sir.-Stopit!Quit!Andy现在你是正式警官了.Andy,nowthatyou'reanofficialpoliceofficer