ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第三季第十集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

众所周知Pawnee是全美第四肥胖的城市Pawneeis,asyouallknow,thefourthmostobesecityinAmerica.马上就是第三了我们要追上你了圣安东尼奥Soontobenumberthree.We'recomingforyou,SanAntonio.不我们不要我们要瘦下来No,wearenot.Weareslimmingdown.就从市政厅这里开始StartingrighthereatCityHall.我要实施一个全政♥府♥的健康倡议Iamimplementingagovernment-widehealthinitiative.我们可以开市政厅躲避球联赛WecouldhaveaCityHalldodgeballleague!我先选队员我选的就是RonIhavefirstpick,andmypickisRon.好主意接着来吧Greatidea!Keep'emcoming.现在如果有谁乐意加入我我会倒着Now,ifanybodywouldliketojoinme,Iwillberunningbackwards跑上沃尔玛背后的大IIIupthebighillbehindtheWalmart.别恐慌但污水部的Joe刚刚用眼睛解开了你的胸罩Don'tfreakout,butJoefromSewagejustunhookedyourbrawithhiseyes.什么What?哦神啊Oh,boy.嗨Joe-怎么啦KnopeHilJoe.-What'sup,Knope?最近这么迷人呢怎么说1.ookinggoodthesedays.Whatdoyousay?货车就在后面我们开动吧Van'soutback.Let'sroll.这说法从何而来Whereisthiscomingfrom?我不知道你今天有点气氛呢Idon'tknow.You'reputtingoutsomevibetoday.让我有点疯狂It'sjustdrivingmecrazy.听着如果你想找快活的话1.isten,ifyou'relookingforagoodtime,为啥不来参加厕所聚会呢whydon'tyoucomeondowntotheToiletParty?那是我们叫污水部的外号♥That'swhatwecalltheSewageDepartment.很好行Great.Okay.喜欢这个背影1.ikingtheview.还是有一套Joe-不你没有Stillgotit,Joe.-No,youdon't.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第10集第3季第10集Christopher有空吗Christopher.Gotasecond?哦嘿RonOh,hey,Ron.你看过去12年里每天我吃的都是食堂供应的汉堡1.isten.veeatenacommissaryhamburgerforluncheverydayfor12years.我只想保证这个毫无意义的健康改革不会影响Ijustwantedtomakesurethispointlesshealthcrusadewon'taffect我工作中唯一喜欢的部分theonlypartofmyjobthatIlike.哦不那些汉堡要没了Oh,no,thosehamburgersaregone.红肉可能造成反应迟钝心脏病甚至性无能Redmeatcancausesluggishness,heartdisease,evenimpotence.对我有相反的作用Hastheoppositeeffectonme.你试过火鸡汉堡吗Youevertriedaturkeyburger?是烤牛肉汉堡里夹个油炸火鸡腿吗Isthatafriedturkeyleginsideagrilledhamburger?如果是的话吃过很不错Ifso,yes.Delicious.火鸡汉堡你用瘦的火鸡肉饼Aturkeyburger.Youtakelean,groundturkeymeat.代替红肉来做汉堡youmakethatintoaburgerinsteadofredmeat.为什么有人会这么对自己Whywouldanyonedothattothemselves?如果我告诉你我可以做个火鸡汉堡WhatifItoldyouthatIcouldmakeaturkeyburger味道比你吃过的任何其他汉堡还好呢thattastesbetterthananyotherburgeryou'veeverhad?接受挑战今日晚些时候院内厨艺比拼Challengeaccepted.Cook-offlatertodayinthecourtyard.如果我赢r汉堡继续在食堂供应IfIwin,hamburgersremaininthecommissary.如果我赢了会怎样WhatdoIgetifIwin?最珍贵的荣耀赢过我RonSwansonTherarestjewelofall.Victoryoverme,RonSwanson.我喜欢Ilikethat.我们来吧We'reon.你知道我不敢相信自己这么说Youknow,Ican'tbelievemsayingthis,butIactuallycheckedout但我真的去了你推荐的那个雪花玻璃球博物馆thatsnowglobemuseumthatyourecommended,真的很棒anditwasprettyawesome.是啊-我必须说Yeah.-1havetosay.我确实因为摇了一个惹了麻烦.Imean,Ididgetintroubleforshakingone.是啊我已经被禁止进入了Yeah,mnotallowedthereanymore.所以我有几个健康倡议的点子So,Ihavesomeideasforthehealthinitiative.哦行啊要不我待会儿路过Oh,okay.HowaboutIswingbylater然后我们就你知道我们把所有点子过一遍andwe,lljust,youknow,we'llgoovereverything?或者我们下班后出去Orwecouldgooutafterwork.你知道去JJ餐厅之类吃一口Youknow,gotoJ.J.'sorsomething,grababite?呃我觉得我不行Um,Idon,tthinkIcan.但我们要不待会儿聊就在这栋楼里Butwhydon'twejusttalkaboutitlater,inthisbuilding?嗯好吧Okay?Allright.但你很棒而且你也有很棒的点子而且.But,you,regreat.Andyouhavegreatideas.And.呃Uh.拜Bye.拜宝贝Bye,babe.嘿我为了那个健康事情带来了这个胆固醇检测套装Hey,Ibroughtthischolesteroltestingkitforthehealththing.好的我们来吧Okay,letsdoit.所以我邀请Ben出去吃饭他说了不So,IaskedBenouttodinnerandhesaidno.什么-是啊What?-Yeah.他看起来真的很喜欢你他具体说的什么呢Heseemedreallyintoyou.Whatdidhesayexactly?他就像“哈啥嗯呃拜”Hewaslike,"Huh?What?Aeh?Uh.Bye."然后他走进了不是他的办公室Andthen,hewalkedintoanofficethatwasn'this.你知道吗如果他不想跟你出去他就是疯了Youknowwhat?Ifhedoesn,twanttogooutwithyou,he'snuts.你太棒了外面还有一百万个其他男人呢You'reawesome,andthere'samillionotherguysoutthere.我最近只是约会了一堆人就很开心了Ihavebeenhavingsomuchfunjustdatingabunchofpeople.我知道啊你刚刚在外面聊的那个家伙是谁啊Iknow.Whowasthatguyyouweretalkingtooutthere?而且还亲上了Andthenalsokissing?我妈了个小龙虾啊刺得真的很疼Iwas.Craponacrayfish.Thatreallystings.我还没扎你呢Ihaven'tprickedyou,yet.哦对不起我就是想象了一下Oh,sorry.Iwasjustpicturingit.你知道吗可能你应该拓宽一下眼界Youknowwhat?Maybeyouneedtocastawidernet.你想过网上约会吗HaveyouthoughtaboutInternetdating?真的吗我觉得那不适合我啊你这个恶魔Really?Idon,tthinkthat'sforme.Ah!You'reamonster.还是没扎呢Stillhaven'tdoneit,yet.要不这样我帮你注册个账号♥会很好玩的Youknowwhat?llhelpyousetupaprofile.It'llbefun.是的是啊我们来吧好很好庆幸已经结束了Allright.Yeah,let'sdoit.Okay.Good.mgladthat'sover.不还没有Oh,it'snot.去你♥妈♥的♥AnnFuckyou,Ann!到底谁是Forp啊WhothehellisForp?我不知道我没听清他说啥Idon'tknow.Icouldn'treallyhearhim.听起来他的名字就是ForpItsoundedlikehisnamewasForp.记下号♥码了-没Gethisnumber?-No.好姑娘Goodgirl.RonSwansonAprilLudgateRonSwanson.AprilLudgate.嘿我IE准备去一下Grain,NSimpleHey,mjustgonnapopovertoGrain'NSimple给我的汉堡买♥♥最棒的食材你们要来吗togettheverybestingredientsformyburger.Doyouwannacome?啥是Grain'NSimpleWhatisGrain'NSimple?是个健康食品商店It,sahealthfoodstore.Pawnee才没有健康食品商店Pawneedoesn'thaveahealthfoodstore.不但Snerling有开车只要40分钟No,butSnerlingdoes.Andit'sonlya40-minutedrive.你来干什么AndyWhatareyoudoing,Andy?我在给擦鞋摊买♥♥更健康的零食mgettinghealthiersnacksfortheshoeshinestand.Chris是个食物天才Chrisisafoodgenius.你们知道吃下去的食物变成能量吗Didyouknowthatthefoodyoueatbecomesenergy?是啊Yeah.哈那是意大利面Boom.That'sspaghetti.玉米片Nachos.那是块小饼干That'sacookie.那是我老公That'smyhusband.明天见吗-好啊Seeyoutomorrow?-Okay.那个男的跟之前不一样了吧Isthatadifferentguyfromearlier?什么算了What?-Nevermind.你准备好搞定资料了吗Youreadytorockthisprofile?好啊Allright.黄发女性Yellow-hairedfemale.喜欢华夫饼和新闻1.ikeswafflesandnews.性感撩人博览群书的金发女性Sexy,well-readblonde.爱生活里更甜美的东西1.ovesthesweeterthingsinlife.好太多了-爱好呢Muchbetter.-Hobbies?整理我的日程Organizingmyagenda.等等那听起来没意思Wait,thatdoesn'tsoundfun.在记事簿上即兴Jammingonmyplanner.最喜欢的地方Favoriteplace?楼上有一副野花的壁画Upstairs,thereisthismuralofwildflowers.我喜欢坐在前面的长椅上AndIliketositonabenchinfrontofit.真的吗可以是世界上任何地方Really?Itcouldbeanywhereintheworld.巴黎夏威夷大峡谷Paris,Hawaii,theGrandCanyon.不就是那幅壁画前面的长椅Nope.Justthebenchinfrontofthemural.如果是真实的野花所在的草地怎么样呢Whatabout,like,anactualmeadowwherewildflowersare?恶心Ann我害怕蜜蜂就是壁画EWw,Ann.mscaredofbees.Mural.好吧你觉得狗怎么样Okay.Whatdoyouthinkofdogs?爱1.ove.猫-爱Cats?-Love.鱼-爰Fish?-Love.乌龟Turtles?没意见Noopinion.他们太高傲了They'recondescending.描述你的理想男性Describeyouridealman.他又黑暗又神秘他还能唱歌♥他还能弹管风琴He,sdarkandmysterious.Andhecansing.Andheplaystheorgan.我觉得你刚刚描述的是歌♥剧魅影IthinkyoujustdescribedthePhantomoftheOpera.嗯Hmm.啊天堂嘿伙计们Ah,Nirvana.Hey,guys.嘿ChrisHey,Chris.AmberAnnieBillJohnnyAmber.Annie.Bill.Johnny.不我不准备在这买♥♥任何东西No.Idon'tplantobuyanythinghere.我买♥♥汉堡食材的地方在“食物和东西”IbuymyburgeringredientsatFoodandStUff一家离我家和单位距离相等的折扣食物批发商店adiscountfoodoutletequidistantfrommyhomeandmywork.我来这的理由和人们去向物园的理由一样Icamehereforthesamereasonpeoplegotothezoo.嘘Shh.看看那个生物1.ookatthatthing.大自然也太奇妙了Natureisamazing.好的Okay.哦我的天一个98%匹配的Oh,myGod.A98%match?那可是灵魂伴侣级别的匹配啊That'sasoulmate-levelmatch.我从没见过这么高的啊I'veneverseenanythingthishighbefore.好棒Awesome.好的我知道你在想什么你知道吗Okay.Iknowwhatyou,rethinking.Andyouknowwhat?你必须忘掉Ben他有一次机会但他搞砸YouhavetoforgetaboutBen.Hehadhischanceandheblewit.这台电脑可能已经找到未来的LeslieKnope先生了ThiscomputercouldhavefoundthefutureMr.LeslieKnope.是啊好全宇宙我潜在的约会对象我们看看你有啥吧Yeah.Okay.EntireuniverseofguysImightdate,let'sseewhatyougot.姓名TomN.Haverford城rb'Pawnee职业公园娱乐部管♥理♥员♥这是印第安纳佳缘网的Craig有什么能帮你的吗ThisisC.HowcanIhelpyou?Craig你们的服务就是屎Craig,yourserviceiscrap.你能具体点描述吗Canyoubemorespecific?是的你们给我匹配的灵魂伴侣完全是错的Yes.Yoursoulmatematchwastotallywrongforme.我是说我作为朋友还是喜欢他的Imean,Ilikehimasafriendandeverything,但我永远不会和他约会butdnevergooutwithhim.他就像是我的小妹妹一样He,slikealittlesistertome.我们有一个非常精密的算法Wehaveaverysophisticatedalgorithm匹配上了数千对that,spairedupthousandsofcouples.我实际上是在网站上认识我老婆的Iactuallymetmywifeonthesite.真的吗嗯那可不会长久啊Really?Well,that'snotgonnalast你说什么你听见了Excuseme?-Youheardme.你的婚姻就是骗局再见Craig-不实际上.Yourmarriageisasham.Goodbye,Craig.-No,actually.回见甜心Seeyou,sweetheart.他看起来挺不错Heseemsnice.呃他实际上住在个谷仓里怎么啦Eh,hekindoflivesinabarn.What'sup?我出什么问题了What'swrongwithme?为什么好的男的讨厌我恶心男的爱我呢Whydogoodguyshatemeandgrossguysloveme?诊断我啊你不是个护上吗Diagnoseme.You'reanurse.你没有任何错There'snothingwrongwithyou.你是个智慧的上档次的有吸引力的女人You'reanintelligent,classy,attractivewoman.但现在不知为何Butforwhateverreason,rightnow,只有混♥蛋♥男的才买♥♥你的账onlydoucheyguysarebuyingwhatyou'reselling.所以我该去问问他们觉得我卖♥♥的是啥So,Ishouldgoandaskthemwhattheythinkmselling.一次混调查Adouche-vestigation.棒啊Nice.嗨Joe我知道你肯定会误解的Hi,Joe.Iknowyou'regonnatakethisthewrongway,但我能跟你聊一会儿吗butcanItalktoyouforasecond?你可以对我做任何事多少会儿都行Youcandoanythingtome,foranynumberofseconds.嗯Hmm.你愿意在外面我的卡车上聊吗Wouldyouliketotalkoutsideinmyvan?不用在这就行你之前说的让我感到荣幸No,here'sfine.Iwasflatteredbywhatyousaidearlier.而我只是好奇你想寻找怎样的女人呢AndIwasjustwondering,whatdoyoulookforinawoman?她不能是坐轮椅的不能拄拐杖不能有白头发Shecan,tbeinawheelchair.Nocanes.Nograyhair.所以基本上你被我吸引So,basically,you'rejustattractedtome只是因为我不是个老年人becausemnotanelderlyperson.是的而且我之前提到过你有个极品美臀Yeah.AndasIaforementioned,youhaveakillerdumpster.这是干嘛的Whatdoesthisdo?你想尝一下我们的素培根吗100%不含肉的Wouldyouliketosampleourveganbacon?100%meatless.好的谢谢Yes,please.再来一条谢谢Another,please.先生有什么问题吗Sir?Isthereaproblem?我只是想保证没有人能吃到这个mjustmakingsurenooneeverhastoeatthis.我觉得我不能再给你了Idon'tthinkIcangiveyouanymore.我想要一根Iwantone.是的我打来是投诉Yeah,mcallingtolodgeacomplaint在你们这购买♥♥的海藻杏仁眼底霜abouttheseaweedandalmondunder-eyecreamIpurchasedfromyouguys.哦我的问题是它太难闻了Oh,myproblemisitsmellsterrible.是的我甚至把它和另一种眼底霜混合结果还是难闻Yeah,Ievenmixeditwithanotherunder-eyecreamanditstillsmelled.所以我毁了两盒眼霜好的我等着So,Iruinedtwoeyecreams.Yes,Iwillhold.Alphaville-ForeverYoung*永远年轻我想要永远年轻*Foreveryoung,Iwannabeforeveryoung*你想要永远活着吗*Doyoureallywannaliveforever这是什么啊What,sthis?火龙果Dragonfruit.这是什么啊What'sthis?一个kiwano或者叫角瓜Akiwano,orhornedmelon.这是什么啊What'sthis?一个桃子Apeach.我知道这个1knewthat.哇新鲜生菜是我人生最爱的食物Wow!Freshlettuceismyall-timefavoritefood.你最爱的食物是啥What'syourfavoritefood?呃我拿个彩虹糖然后放在两个星爆糖中间Well,1takeSkittles,andIputitbetweentwoStarbursts.你知道我把它叫啥吗彩虹三明治YouknowwhatIcallit?-Skittlesandwich?那挺好的不我叫它Andy的嘴巴惊喜That'sprettygood.No,IcallitAndy'smouthsurprise.它很好因为星爆糖的味道lt,snicebecausetheflavoroftheStarbursts真的会带出彩虹糖类似的味道reallybringoutasimilarflavorintheSkittles.*永远年轻我想要.*ForeveryoungIwannabe.嘿TomHey,Tom.咋啦What'sup?你想去吃午饭吗Doyouwannagotolunch?不我真的不想去JJ,s了No,Idon'treallyfeellikegoingtoJ.J.,s.我们去哪都行你选店我买♥♥单Wecangoanywhere.Yourchoice.mbuying.我能点小开和阿甜吗CanIgetappsand'zerts?我把甜点叫阿甜,ZertsarewhatIcalldesserts.主主就是主菜Tray-traysareentrees.我把三明治叫三米三片或者亚当“三”德勒IcallsandwichesSammies,sandoozies,orAdamSandlers.空调叫冷气冲击I®带个口字旁Airconditionersarecoolblasterz,withaZ.我不知道那个怎公来的Idon'tknowwherethatcamefrom.我把蛋糕叫老大块曲奇Icallcakesbigocookies.我把面条叫长长米Icallnoodleslong-assrice.炸鸡块就是“炸炸鸡鸡”Friedchickenisfry-frychicky-chick.帕玛森芝土艰鸡肉就是“鸡鸡帕帕”Chickenparmischicky-chickyparm-parm.黄炳鸡呢“鸡黄”Chickencacciatore?Chickycatch.我把鸡蛋叫预鸟或者未来鸟Icalleggspre-birdsorfuturebirds.根汁汽水就是“超级水”Rootbeerissuperwater.墨西哥玉米饼就是“豆豆毯毯”Tortillasarebeanblankies.而我把叉子叫"食物耙子"AndIcallforksfoodrakes.行你想点多少阿甜就点多少Yeah.Youcangetasmany'zertsasyouwant.好那我们去我的”走走动动”上吧Well,letsgetinmygo-gomobile.车Car.这会很好玩的This'llbefun.我们假设你擦了个瓶子然后一个灯神冒山来1.et'ssayyourubabottleandageniecomesout给你三个愿望这些愿望会是什么andgivesyouthreewishes.Whatwouldthosewishesbe?别啊LeSlie-就当是个小游戏Comeon,Leslie.-This'llbeafungame.三个愿望开始Threewishes.Go.好吧第一个愿望我要一座有一堆阳台的大房♥子Okay.Firstwish?Ihaveahugehousewithatonofbalconies.行好Yeah.Okay.然后我就站在那AndIwouldjuststandoutthere检视我的帝国就像迈克尔贝电影里的毒贩？一样andsurveymyempire,likeadrugdealerinaMichaelBaymovie.然后我就在外面消磨时间Andlljustspendmytimeoutthere穿着毛绒浴袍读着我的iPad喝着特浓咖啡readingmyiPadanddrinkingespressosinaterryclothrobe.第二个愿望Wishnumbertwo.好我是SpikeTV频道的CEOOkay.mtheCEOoftheSpikeTVnetwork.我最好朋友/个人助理是奥斯卡得主JamieFoxxAndmybestfriend/personalassistantisOscarwinnerJamieFoxx.我们构建一个基于我们友情的粗俗动画剧集AndWecreatearaunchyanimatedseriesbasedonourfriendship,名叫"Tommy和Foxx"calledTommyandtheFoxx.好吧我们不用再做这个了Okay.Wedon'thavetodothisanymore.不不我现在正享受着呢No,no.mintoitnow.第三个愿望他们重拍惊爆点Wishnumberthree.TheyremakePointBreak.我两个角色都演基努的和斯威兹的Iplaybothroles.KeanuandSwayze.我觉得你要是坚持多项运动同时训练就能Ithinkifyoucontinuecross-trainingthewayyouhave,you'regonna.我没看到你拿食材啊你买♥♥了食材吗Idon'tseeanyingredients.Haveyouboughtingredients?没Nope.你购物需要帮助吗-不Doyouneedhelpshopping?-No.你受伤了吗你能动吗-好得不能再好了Areyouhurt?Canyoumove?-Neverfeltbetter.Chris我能买♥♥这些吗Chris!CanIgetthese?我说了只买♥♥个Isaidonething.亲爱的Honey?jiPinwheel.我们换一个游戏吧我说一些关于我的事1.et'splayadifferentgame.mgonnasaystuffaboutme,你来说从1到10分andyousay,onascalefrom1to10,你对这件事多感兴趣howinterestedinthatthingyouare.准备好了吗-好Ready?-Okay.我爱阳光和新鲜空气还有清晨散步1Ilovesunshineandfreshairandearly-morningwalks.-One.我读过5本埃莉诺罗斯福的传记-1vereadfivebiographiesofEleanorRoosevelt.-One.我在公园与娱乐部门工作-1IworkattheParksandRecreation.-One.那也是你的工作1That'swhatyoudo.-One.我在大学里亲过一个女生Ioncekissedagirlincollege.8Eight最后我以最高荣誉的成绩在历史专业毕业WhereIgraduatedsummacumIaudeinhistory.10负一亿请别再说了One.Zero.Negativeabillion.Don'ttalkaboutitanymore,please.我爱”食物和东西”IloveFoodandStuff.我在这买♥♥所有的食物It,swhereIbuyallofmyfood.还有大部分的东西Andmostofmystuff.嘿我能买♥♥这些吗Hey,canIgetthese?它们多少钱Howmucharethey?每个两块Twobucksapiece.划算啊Gooddeal.还要别的吗Anythingelse?没了只有乌鸦和牛肉Nope.Justthecrowsandthebeef所以对你唯一重要的就是好看吗So,theonlythingthat'simportanttoyouishotness?WendyLUCy你在乎的只有她们胸部的形状吗Wendy?Lucy?Allyoucaredaboutwastheshapeoftheirboobs?不我真的喜欢她们而且她们碰巧也都有美胸No,Ireallylikedthem,andtheyhappenedtohavenicebreasts.你表现得真是奇怪你为啥要请我午饭啊You'reactingreallyweird.Whatdidyouevenbuymelunchfor?所以你能因为我对女人的品味大吼大叫吗JustsoyoucouldyellatmeforwhatIlikeaboutwomen?好吧保证别告诉其他人Okay.Promisenottotellanyone?当然Sure.这太疯了但你跟我在印第安纳佳缘网上匹配到了Thisisinsane,butyouandI.98%匹配98%match.灵魂伴侣级别的匹配Soulmate-levelmatch.你想跟我约会啊这是个约会啊Youwannadateme!Thisisadate!这不是个约会好吗Thisisnotadate,okay?你带我来豪华餐厅你请我吃饭Youtookmetoafancyrestaurant,youpaidformymeal,你还试着深入了解我andyou'retryingtogettoknowmebetter.我只是试着摸索为什么现在只有低级的男人看上我Iwasjusttryingtofigureoutwhyonlysleazyguysareintomerightnow.得了吧你爰我呢Nicetry.YouIoveme.*LeslieKnope和TomHaverford*1.eslieKnope,TomHaverford*白天约会晚上约会*Datingintheday,datinginthenight*整天约会因为他感觉很对*Datingallday'causehe'skeepingittight好了Tom够广Allright,Tom.Enough.*在车里约在地板上约*Datinginthecar,datingonthefloor*在到处约因为她想还想约*Datingeverywhere'causeshewantssomemore嘿Tom我刚刚打印了这些健康提示Hey,Tom,mjustprintingoutthesehealthtips.你能帮我拿过来吗Canyougrabthemforme?一秒钟我就先看看一些房♥地♥产♥名录Onesecond.mjustlookingatsomerealestatelistings.哦这套完美符合我们啊Oh,thisisperfectforus.三个卧室然后哦天啊LesThree